Page 12 | to think the UK should have bidets

LarkspurBlues · 2026-07-16T12:27:15+00:00

Just that really. I far prefer the French habit of having a wash after having a no 2, much more civilised. The British way is actually unhygienic and gross.

Sgtmajormummy · 16/07/2026 15:51

I’ve lived with bidets for the last 30+ years (Italy) and I wouldn’t be without one.
Not only for number twos but for periods, episiotomy and general postpartum cleaning. Also when potty training for a quick clean-up.

Then on a daily basis, for pedicure and foot soaks, handwashing small amounts of laundry, soaking pot plants.

Obviously they need to be kept spotless. I use Nancy Birtwhistle’s citric acid spray.

Vinvertebrate · 16/07/2026 15:51

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:39

That's right: bum gun was the term. I am sure they must fire it in the wrong direction.

Show quote history

It takes practice, but you know you’ve scored a bullseye when your first post-gun fart ends with a warm trickle. <chef’s kiss>

lindyloo57 · 16/07/2026 15:50

If you're on benefits and have a disability like bipolar, like everything else you can get one put in for free with the council they cost £5000 if you live in a council house, The council love wasting money , I'm just jealous because I would love one but can't afford the luxury.

Yetone · 16/07/2026 15:49

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 16/07/2026 15:10

This is much better and cheaper:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZHH5K8Q?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2

Show quote history

Not as easy or as good. When we get our bathroom refitted I will have what I want. The toilet in out hotel room in South Korea also dried you after the wash.

ThisISmycircusandtheseAREmymonkeys · 16/07/2026 15:49

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 15:07

No, never mind 😂

Show quote history

Just as well you have no idea about Finland, it is such a great country I assume they would want to keep it to themselves anyway. 😂

deeahgwitch · 16/07/2026 15:49

Delatron · 16/07/2026 13:32

I do think it’s more hygienic but not something culturally we have had in our homes for whatever reason. But yes nothing to stop you from installing one.

My mind is boggling over the ‘poo flannel’ and the aesthetics of
this and a bucket by the loo! I guess it does the job but how many flannels to wash every day? Where are they put once they are used?

I wondered too what they did with the used flannels. 😮
Where did they go ?

Boreded · 16/07/2026 15:48

Delatron · 16/07/2026 13:32

I do think it’s more hygienic but not something culturally we have had in our homes for whatever reason. But yes nothing to stop you from installing one.

My mind is boggling over the ‘poo flannel’ and the aesthetics of
this and a bucket by the loo! I guess it does the job but how many flannels to wash every day? Where are they put once they are used?

Please tell me you didn’t think the poo flannel was a real thing 🫣

OtterlyAstounding · 16/07/2026 15:48

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:43

Exactly this.

That's the direction it all gets jetted in - unless you contrive to blast it backwards and upwards and then you are probably walking round with spatters of poo in your hair at the back.

Show quote history

This is what I always think. It seems so imprecise and messy, as though it's more likely to spread any faecal matter to the genitals than a front to back wipe is.

StandingDeskDisco · 16/07/2026 15:48

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

British sarcasm at its best. 😂

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:47

Ablondiebutagoody · 16/07/2026 14:05

Thats disgusting. Our rag is on the end of a stick. Much more hygienic.

Show quote history

Old corn cob husks are even better: a bucket for clean, a second bucket for used and you don't even have to rinse them: just pop them in the weekly bin clearance.

mindymoo11 · 16/07/2026 15:46

Blondielocks25 · 16/07/2026 15:45

This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard

Show quote history

I think she was joking

Katiesaidthat · 16/07/2026 15:46

ThisISmycircusandtheseAREmymonkeys · 16/07/2026 15:04

Finland is one of the biggest countries in Europe, but never mind.

Show quote history

They have a population of 5.5 million. I think that´s what she meant...

Blondielocks25 · 16/07/2026 15:45

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard

mindymoo11 · 16/07/2026 15:44

no i wouldnt want one. theres no need

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:43

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 13:41

You can they have them in hotels. I always worry about a jet up your arse causing a UTI though

Show quote history

Exactly this.

That's the direction it all gets jetted in - unless you contrive to blast it backwards and upwards and then you are probably walking round with spatters of poo in your hair at the back.

Coconutter24 · 16/07/2026 15:41

bigboykitty · 16/07/2026 13:36

There is, actually. Bidets are not permitted in the UK under plumbing regulations because of 'backflow' issues.

Show quote history

They are permitted, you just have to install it to meet the requirements

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:41

Krevlornswath · 16/07/2026 14:30

If that is your strong preference then as others have said, you could install one. There are a number of ways to clean oneself after a bowel movement if necessary - moist wipes, sprays for toilet paper.

Realistically if a person is having bowel movements that cause a situation where they can't clean themselves easily or properly by wiping then they might need to address their digestive health or visit the doctor about incomplete evacuation.

Needless to say it's quite common to have the WC situated in the bathroom in the UK so the shower is right next to you. If I felt unclean I would hope in and resolve it.

Totally agree with all this.

WhatNoCrisps · 16/07/2026 15:41

The best thing IMO is one of those mini showers some toilets have in Asia which hose the no 2 away.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 16/07/2026 15:40

Sometimes I’ll have a quick bum shower if needs be. I wouldn’t want a bidet.

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:39

Vinvertebrate · 16/07/2026 15:22

Thank the lord! I was seriously considering a life of crime to retain my lovely bidet. It’s where I get most of my reading done!

A bum gun is a close second btw. We’ve only got one bidet, but the other shitters in our house have bum guns.

Show quote history

That's right: bum gun was the term. I am sure they must fire it in the wrong direction.

LostThestral · 16/07/2026 15:38

Notsodisney · 16/07/2026 13:40

Bum showers are great.
Until winter and cold pipes come into play🙈

Bte you can install them but it can be faff to adhere to regs. I think they sell them with backflow prevention now. Everysummer we pondwr, everywinter we change our minds😂

we have a bum gun which you can set the temperature so it isn't cold

Calliopespa · 16/07/2026 15:37

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/07/2026 13:34

Absolutely vile, that can’t be true

Show quote history

That post about a poo flannel - and these bidet threads - come up every so often. I think they are normally started, or at least well-attended, by poo troll types.

The last one talked about jet hose attachments and lamented the state of UK bottoms given these are not common.

To be honest, I think a lot must depend on how messy you get, as wiping till the paper stays clear isn't a hard to achieve or lengthy task for me. It is only when unwell with an upset tummy that I would need a wet wipe, and if I felt the paper wasn't cutting it, I'd honestly prefer to take a quick shower than start firing a hose round the room, or sloshing about in a bidet.

To me it is all overkill other than in the case of a very upset tummy. Babies obviously need wet wipes, but that's because a milk/liquid heavy diet results in much more liquid stools. They also sit in it, rather than deliver it directly to the bowl.

LostThestral · 16/07/2026 15:35

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

that is revolting

Rivertrudge · 16/07/2026 15:32

bigboykitty · 16/07/2026 13:36

There is, actually. Bidets are not permitted in the UK under plumbing regulations because of 'backflow' issues.

Show quote history

Really?? Surely that’s not the case. There was one in our house, approx 30 yrs old, when we moved in.

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 15:31

OneAquaFatball · 16/07/2026 15:28

hello from a country that doesn’t flush, we empty the bathroom bin every day, nothing smells and we certainly don’t have piles of shit stained flannels on display, what an absolutely bonkers comment 😂

Edited

Show quote history

You may be surprised to know I have not been to your home😁

it’s not quite the same story in public loos though is it? Always nice to use the loo of a posh massively expensive beach club only to be confronted with a bin of shit. Unless you imagine they change the bin after every customer