Page 10 | to think the UK should have bidets

LarkspurBlues · 2026-07-16T12:27:15+00:00

Just that really. I far prefer the French habit of having a wash after having a no 2, much more civilised. The British way is actually unhygienic and gross.

chedderland · 16/07/2026 16:38

Imagine sharing shitty public bidets. Not remotely civilised. Poo flannel is even worse though (I’m sure not serious though).

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:38

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:29

So you genuinely think dry wiping achieves the same as using water? For any kind of dirt. Just to be clear.

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That’s not something you can give a clear answer to is it? Plain Water isn’t very good at removing anything, but if I was sprayed with mud from a tractor I’m sure I’d take a hose down over being given a dry tea towel.

thats not actually related to bum wiping though, obviously, so not sure what you’re asking.

Panama2 · 16/07/2026 16:36

With a bum gun do you have to be careful of squatting any poo around your fanny?

Could do it the Roman way sponge on a stick 😉

JennyChawleigh · 16/07/2026 16:36

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 16/07/2026 15:09

This is much better and much cheaper:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZHH5K8Q?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2

Except it says "Currently unavailable.
We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock."

Natsku · 16/07/2026 16:36

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:02

No it’s not a shock because they bang on about it constantly. But just because they are forrin doesn’t mean they’re actually right about their beliefs does it? 😂 the uk is objectively not a dirty or unhygienic country.

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When I was in the UK last month we couldn't swim in the sea for several days because there was raw sewage in the water. It is objectively a dirty country in some respects. Also all the litter everywhere.

Blublablooo · 16/07/2026 16:35

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

Communal poo flannel? Rinsed out after use and lives in a bucket? This is incredibly unhygienic.

Franjipanl8r · 16/07/2026 16:33

Why do us brits always do weird stuff compared to Europe. I honestly think some brits don’t get out enough or travel enough to know that either a jug for rinsing with water or a bum gun are perfectly normal. No old flannels or creams or expensive moist toilet tissue are needed.

stargirl27 · 16/07/2026 16:33

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:29

So you genuinely think dry wiping achieves the same as using water? For any kind of dirt. Just to be clear.

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I'm so shocked that people think just dry wiping after a poo is hygienic

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:29

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:23

Germs are not removed. Germs are killed. And they aren’t killed with warm water. I can’t believe im having to spell that out. I assume you don’t wash your hands after using the looo with plain water and no soap?

or maybe you do, if the Indian podcaster guys told you that was the most hygienic way 😂

Edited

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So you genuinely think dry wiping achieves the same as using water? For any kind of dirt. Just to be clear.

TofuTuesday · 16/07/2026 16:28

BagaChips · 16/07/2026 13:59

I can't believe how many people on this site believe everything they read and can't tell humour, sarcasm or satire anymore. Even an obvious joke from a well known jokey poster is taken seriously. Sad times

I know, I’m half way through reading and just stunned people think it’s true.

Jollyhockeystickss · 16/07/2026 16:27

Delatron · 16/07/2026 13:32

I do think it’s more hygienic but not something culturally we have had in our homes for whatever reason. But yes nothing to stop you from installing one.

My mind is boggling over the ‘poo flannel’ and the aesthetics of
this and a bucket by the loo! I guess it does the job but how many flannels to wash every day? Where are they put once they are used?

They share the same flannel so very hygenic! Not , just shower after problem solved

ghostyslovesheets · 16/07/2026 16:27

LarkspurBlues · 16/07/2026 13:53

I’ve been round the world thanks @PetChipGirl. I’m not doing some kind of comparative A level Geography project, I’m talking about what I think would be nicest.

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Did you find your baby?

putitonthewrongway · 16/07/2026 16:26

I had a hose thing (the kind they have in Thailand) installed in my new bathroom rather than a bidet. It’s so much more hygienic than toilet paper alone!

Bigbumbigtum · 16/07/2026 16:24

Keep a bar of soap next to the toilet and rub that on your bumhole after a poo. 😆

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:23

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:17

Washing with water removes germs that wiping doesn’t. If you got poo on your hand, would a quick wipe be enough or would you prefer to use water? I can’t believe I am having to spell this out!

And re other countries’ toilets, a quick google will tell you that there are health benefits to squat toilets. Don’t dismiss all poorer countries as being worse. Our nice UK toilets cater to our modern sensibilities. I prefer them. But they are not necessarily better in every way. Open your mind a bit.

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Germs are not removed. Germs are killed. And they aren’t killed with warm water. I can’t believe im having to spell that out. I assume you don’t wash your hands after using the looo with plain water and no soap?

or maybe you do, if the Indian podcaster guys told you that was the most hygienic way 😂

Augustus40 · 16/07/2026 16:22

Although I do use wipes I never ever flush them.

Lexy2345 · 16/07/2026 16:21

Flatandhappy · 16/07/2026 13:38

You don’t want a bidet, you want a toilet like they have in Indonesia and other Asian countries where you have a water jet in the toilet that can be directed either front or back but you don’t have to move. The DIY shops in Australia sell a variety of attachments that give the same effect, we installed a “tooodle loo” that gives you the same facility in a normal toilet. I can’t believe you wouldn’t be able to buy them in the Uk.

Another vote for a bum gun.

Wiseplumnet · 16/07/2026 16:20

Totally agree, UK bathrooms should be designed as a matter of course to have bidets, imagine how good they would be for after sex and during a period.

Littlebitpsycho · 16/07/2026 16:19

AmericanPaint · 16/07/2026 14:08

Where do you slot your spatula when you’re not using it then?

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BAHAHAHA

chocoluv · 16/07/2026 16:18

I think all toilets should have a bidet installed, surely in 2026 this should be just a done thing now?

Way too many people use wipes every day, which even though they say they’re flushable, should not be flushed.

MN gave me the best advice about using lotion and I’ve never used a toilet wipe since.

I also have a hand bidet that I use before wiping.

Equimum · 16/07/2026 16:17

Much of Asia has 'bum guns' - showers next to the look which you hose over the loo with. Very efficient and take up less room than a full-on bidet.

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:17

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:12

It doesn’t mean you have a less clean bum at all- what are you on about?

The maximum your bum can be clean after pooing is that it’s free of excretement. Unless you’re squirting bleach up it

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Washing with water removes germs that wiping doesn’t. If you got poo on your hand, would a quick wipe be enough or would you prefer to use water? I can’t believe I am having to spell this out!

And re other countries’ toilets, a quick google will tell you that there are health benefits to squat toilets. Don’t dismiss all poorer countries as being worse. Our nice UK toilets cater to our modern sensibilities. I prefer them. But they are not necessarily better in every way. Open your mind a bit.

ThisISmycircusandtheseAREmymonkeys · 16/07/2026 16:17

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:12

It doesn’t mean you have a less clean bum at all- what are you on about?

The maximum your bum can be clean after pooing is that it’s free of excretement. Unless you’re squirting bleach up it

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Stop giving people ideas. 😂

fashionqueen0123 · 16/07/2026 16:12

AlgaeDreams · 16/07/2026 14:16

Wipes and a sanitary type bag to go in the outside bin?

Minging bucket and flannel. Do you boil wash them? I know wipes in the toilet are an environmental catastrophe, but boil washing a flannel every time you have a poo is terrible too (two? Boom boom 🙄)

Are trying to rival the penis beaker?

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That was my first thought when I read that too!

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 16:12

NotBreezy · 16/07/2026 16:05

You seem to have quite fixed ideas about different cultures. And some rose-tinted views about the UK too. Of course not washing your bum is ‘objectively’ more dirty. It’s not going to cause any problems or illness, but of course it means you have a less clean bum. That is objective science!

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It doesn’t mean you have a less clean bum at all- what are you on about?

The maximum your bum can be clean after pooing is that it’s free of excretement. Unless you’re squirting bleach up it