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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour and his england flag!

162 replies

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 10:30

Our NDN are both 80, and we don’t have the best relationship with them, we feel they can be a bit inconsiderate in terms of boundary noise. We’ve had to mention a couple of things which have affected the enjoyment of our home. So we don’t really speak anymore and they have clearly taken offence despite us mentioning things in a polite way.

Anyway, the man has put up a large England flag on a pole on the joining fence. It’s right at the front of the house and the pole isn’t particularly high so the flag flaps in our faces or visitors faces when they open our gate to go down our walkway. This morning I got pissed off with it as the wind is always blowing our way so the flag is always over our boundary and it looks like it’s our flag as a result (just to add I love football and have no issues with the flag itself, just the positioning of it).
So this morning I wrapped it round the pole and opened my gate to make a point that it’s a walkway.
Anyway, I was sat in my living room and I heard the man come out and say “someone’s wrapped that up!” In an angry loud voice.
AIBU to think that he should realise it’s a bit inconsiderate and could put the flag in an area that doesn’t hang over our boundary?

OP posts:
CousinBette · 15/07/2026 13:50

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Ffs

It’s really windy here. Southern England.

MickyMoonshine · 15/07/2026 13:47

SmudgeButt · 15/07/2026 13:30

Well if it was a tree with branches overhanging on to your property you would have the right to cut anything that goes from the border on to your side. I'd be considering that. But I suppose it would be best to ask the neighbour to move it.

Frankly most the houses I've seen with St George cross flags appear to be inhabited by the far right. And I wouldn't want anyone to think that was me. So I might find another flag that I could fly instead and act surprised when the neighbour asks where his went.

"Oh! It was just gone!! I guess it flew off in that high wind last night!!! And since it was gone I thought flying the Welsh/Iranian/Argentinian/Pride flag would be a delightful change!!!"

Yawn 🙄 We need to move away from this very lazy stereotype.

Lots of houses and businesses near me have England flags flying. Supporting your national football team doesn’t automatically make you far right.

We’ve had England bunting up throughout the tournament and our flag goes up on match days.

canklesmctacotits · 15/07/2026 13:42

Put up an Argentina flag in front of his 😉

Fluffyholeysocks · 15/07/2026 13:41

SmudgeButt · 15/07/2026 13:30

Well if it was a tree with branches overhanging on to your property you would have the right to cut anything that goes from the border on to your side. I'd be considering that. But I suppose it would be best to ask the neighbour to move it.

Frankly most the houses I've seen with St George cross flags appear to be inhabited by the far right. And I wouldn't want anyone to think that was me. So I might find another flag that I could fly instead and act surprised when the neighbour asks where his went.

"Oh! It was just gone!! I guess it flew off in that high wind last night!!! And since it was gone I thought flying the Welsh/Iranian/Argentinian/Pride flag would be a delightful change!!!"

Have you seen 10 Downing Street is festooned with England flags today?

KazWasntEverCool · 15/07/2026 13:37

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INX · 15/07/2026 13:36

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 12:48

Genuine question - if they were immigrants and put a flag up, say a Mexican flag - would you 'cut it down'? @FrenchandSaunders

Are you suggesting Mexican flags are less flappy in the wind?

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 13:33

@SmudgeButt how do you know how these people vote?
My son lives in Tower Hamlets and there are loads of flags out, are they all "far right"

SmudgeButt · 15/07/2026 13:30

Well if it was a tree with branches overhanging on to your property you would have the right to cut anything that goes from the border on to your side. I'd be considering that. But I suppose it would be best to ask the neighbour to move it.

Frankly most the houses I've seen with St George cross flags appear to be inhabited by the far right. And I wouldn't want anyone to think that was me. So I might find another flag that I could fly instead and act surprised when the neighbour asks where his went.

"Oh! It was just gone!! I guess it flew off in that high wind last night!!! And since it was gone I thought flying the Welsh/Iranian/Argentinian/Pride flag would be a delightful change!!!"

Bogofftosomewherehot · 15/07/2026 13:30

Do you live in a wind tunnel?
Can't imagine there being enough wind for it to continuously smack your visitors in the face when at head height. 😂
It'll all be over either tonight or on Sunday. Just suck it up for a couple of days in the name of patriotism. Unless you're just miserable and not patriotic?

AnotherForumUser · 15/07/2026 13:29

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Strangely enough there's a wind here in Hertfordshire despite the sun blazing down! They can and do co-exist. Before you accuse posters of being trolls maybe you should learn a little bit about basic weather.

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 13:26

@Faceonthewrongfoot that is why I ask. I think cutting down a neighbours flag, if they are of a different Nationality would be perceived as racism by many here.

I think "AIBU to think my neighbour is a racist, they cut down my Mexican/Pakistan/Iranian/Palastine/German flag?" would get a strong pro OP response on here.

I am working class Northerner thou so almost certainly wrong on this, as on all things to do with myself and my experience of the world 😂😂😂

ilbehonest · 15/07/2026 13:15

Id ask nicely first, given history if they don't respond well and can't see the inconvenience I would have to retaliate and do something as equally inconvenient to them like puting a sprinkler on your side of the boundary facing theirs so when they go in and out they get wet 😂 tell them sorry you thought it was fine as it's not affecting you.

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 15/07/2026 13:12

Where I used to live kids would have nicked it by the time the owners had gone back indoors.

Faceonthewrongfoot · 15/07/2026 13:12

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Its incredibly windy where we are at the moment (south west), despite also being very hot.

Faceonthewrongfoot · 15/07/2026 13:10

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 12:48

Genuine question - if they were immigrants and put a flag up, say a Mexican flag - would you 'cut it down'? @FrenchandSaunders

Strange question. The OP isn't objecting to it being an England flag, but it being a flag that is low and flapping in people's faces. So presumably the advice would be the same regardless of which flag it is.

KazWasntEverCool · 15/07/2026 13:09

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Livingoverseas123 · 15/07/2026 13:00

My advice on inconsiderate neighbours is the sme as my advice on teenagers - pick your battles.

Just let this one go.

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 15/07/2026 12:56

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 10:30

Our NDN are both 80, and we don’t have the best relationship with them, we feel they can be a bit inconsiderate in terms of boundary noise. We’ve had to mention a couple of things which have affected the enjoyment of our home. So we don’t really speak anymore and they have clearly taken offence despite us mentioning things in a polite way.

Anyway, the man has put up a large England flag on a pole on the joining fence. It’s right at the front of the house and the pole isn’t particularly high so the flag flaps in our faces or visitors faces when they open our gate to go down our walkway. This morning I got pissed off with it as the wind is always blowing our way so the flag is always over our boundary and it looks like it’s our flag as a result (just to add I love football and have no issues with the flag itself, just the positioning of it).
So this morning I wrapped it round the pole and opened my gate to make a point that it’s a walkway.
Anyway, I was sat in my living room and I heard the man come out and say “someone’s wrapped that up!” In an angry loud voice.
AIBU to think that he should realise it’s a bit inconsiderate and could put the flag in an area that doesn’t hang over our boundary?

The smart move would be (have been) to wrap it up, and drop a note through their door telling them you'd done it and...

Explain it was hitting people in the face, delivery men were moaning at you, and you didn't want them to have to suffer any personal injury claims.

Being a nice considerate neighbour you are.

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 12:48

FrenchandSaunders · 15/07/2026 10:52

I'd chop it down ...

Genuine question - if they were immigrants and put a flag up, say a Mexican flag - would you 'cut it down'? @FrenchandSaunders

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 12:47

@StrongandNorthern I imagine this couple is committing a range of MN sins such as taking their tops off and BBQ or drinking/laughing/music in the garden and speaking too loudly. Being working class is utterly unacceptable for many on here and sadly, as us lot earn more, and they less, we end up in close proximity more and more often!

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 15/07/2026 12:43

It'll be gone next week. Unclench. Imagine the national joy if they win. Buy a flag, make a banner. Go on, enjoy yourself!

ButtercupYellow26 · 15/07/2026 12:29

A bit of tolerance from you wouldn't go amiss during the football season.
Otherwise you will have to move house.
I wish that was all I had to worry about.

PullingOutHair123 · 15/07/2026 12:12

ThatJadeLion · 15/07/2026 12:10

FGS there's only a few days left at most. Couldn't get worked up over this. I'm sure you equally do things that are semi annoying. It's a bit of give and take.

This!

Let them have their flag - it's only for a week. It would make me smile!

ThatJadeLion · 15/07/2026 12:10

FGS there's only a few days left at most. Couldn't get worked up over this. I'm sure you equally do things that are semi annoying. It's a bit of give and take.

Fiendishandfiery · 15/07/2026 12:10

I mean really this was very passive aggressive. I can see why you don’t get on. It would have been easy enough to send a text or put a note through their door saying can you move it it’s flapping in peoples faces please. But wrapping it up, opening the gate then sitting there waiting for fire works is utterly immature,