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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour and his england flag!

162 replies

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 10:30

Our NDN are both 80, and we don’t have the best relationship with them, we feel they can be a bit inconsiderate in terms of boundary noise. We’ve had to mention a couple of things which have affected the enjoyment of our home. So we don’t really speak anymore and they have clearly taken offence despite us mentioning things in a polite way.

Anyway, the man has put up a large England flag on a pole on the joining fence. It’s right at the front of the house and the pole isn’t particularly high so the flag flaps in our faces or visitors faces when they open our gate to go down our walkway. This morning I got pissed off with it as the wind is always blowing our way so the flag is always over our boundary and it looks like it’s our flag as a result (just to add I love football and have no issues with the flag itself, just the positioning of it).
So this morning I wrapped it round the pole and opened my gate to make a point that it’s a walkway.
Anyway, I was sat in my living room and I heard the man come out and say “someone’s wrapped that up!” In an angry loud voice.
AIBU to think that he should realise it’s a bit inconsiderate and could put the flag in an area that doesn’t hang over our boundary?

OP posts:
Floatlikeafeather2 · 15/07/2026 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And where exactly are you, Kaz? If anywhere on this planet, it is very, very odd that you have never come across the phenomenon of winds that blow during hot weather, or winds that blow at face level or even right down to the ground. I am enjoying a lovely face level wind at this very moment, sitting in a doorway, out of the baking sun. It's even blowing at clothesline level and my washing is making the most of it. It's a very pretty sight. Granted, I wouldn't be enjoying it as much if it was wrapping a dirty great big flag around my face - in fact I would be very cross - but judging by the couple of flags I can see nearby, stretched out across the beautiful blue sky, it's definitely flag flying weather. Come outside and have a look around. It would be a shame for you to miss the experience (and the chance for you to educate yourself).

Noodles1234 · 15/07/2026 16:48

Can you pop some cypress trees or shrub to keep it on their side? I imagine it is a World Cup thing and be gone soon.

it amazes me how so many people think this is utterly fine and not annoying to others as on the border and flapping your side.

Biscuitjockey · 15/07/2026 16:38

I just think there’s more important things going on in the world, Then to be complaining about aflah.

Bigtrapeze · 15/07/2026 16:30

MyDeftDuck · 15/07/2026 16:13

That would annoy me too…….could easily cause an eye injury if it flapped across a persons face! it would have disappeared overnight if it flapped over our fence!

I think it is true that A and E do sometimes see a spike in admissions following big football games but I had mistakenly put it down to acts of violence and stupidity and not considered the threat flags pose to the populace. I stand corrected. Maybe the sunshine will provide a mitigating factor as lots of people will be unwittingly sporting safety glasses to protect them from the sun's glare.

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 15/07/2026 16:29

I'm very surprised noone has mentioned the 'd' word yet if he is that bad.😀

Bigtrapeze · 15/07/2026 16:24

OP, if by some miracle England win the World Cup on Sunday I promise that when I have finished celebrating I will spare a thought for you and your visitors having the indignity of a flag flapping in your faces a while longer as we collectively come together as a country to marvel at our first World Cup victory since 1966. More likely, we won't progress beyond tonight and he will remove his flag tomorrow with the heavy heart all England supporters know too well. It's harder to enjoy the flag if you're trying not to come fourth out of four. I don't think it will be long now, OP.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/07/2026 16:17

It all just seems a bit petty to me. How many people are walking up and down your path each day to face potential eye/face injuries from said flag?

LlynTegid · 15/07/2026 16:16

The flag is a minor thing compared to the misogynistic potentially abusive man who lives next door to you.

I agree about the airspace angle.

Krevlornswath · 15/07/2026 16:15

I wouldn't be pleased about it but is it likely to be the case it comes down once the football is done with? if so I'd leave it.

Could you place something on your boundary that conceals it or stops it flapping over?

ThreadGuardDog · 15/07/2026 16:15

Happyjoe · 15/07/2026 16:05

If they are total arseholes, I would've cut it down.

He owns the fence. So you would be the one prosecuted.

ItsPerfectlyNormal · 15/07/2026 16:15

alifesizefoamversionofapopularfrozenfoodstuff · 15/07/2026 16:12

Yeah probably in about 6 hours 😄

😬😂

Muffsies · 15/07/2026 16:13

MuffHairLady · 15/07/2026 16:06

Haha! Brilliant! Yours, BeanQuisine?

Cheer for plucky England
On lager we will gorge
And throw our knickers to the wind
In honour of St George

MyDeftDuck · 15/07/2026 16:13

That would annoy me too…….could easily cause an eye injury if it flapped across a persons face! it would have disappeared overnight if it flapped over our fence!

ThreadGuardDog · 15/07/2026 16:13

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 15:52

It’s his fence and he’s entitled to attach what he likes to it. I don’t even care about the fact he has an England flag, what I’m not happy about is it hanging almost constantly over our side of the fence. It’s a big flag and not high enough not to touch people going in and out of our front gate when walking down the walkway.
The bloke is an inconsiderate old tw*t in my opinion anyway, if I liked the guy I would put up with it. He plays old country songs and sea shanties in his garden on loud most days in the summer. He doesn’t speak to his wife well, who now also avoids us presumably because she knows we’re not happy with him but we would happily talk to her if only she could get her DH to act a bit better.

Then go for the airspace above your property. Because your neighbour owns the fence, the focus should be on the fact that the flag is crossing the boundary line and obstructing your main pathway. Neighbour has the right to use the fence, but they don’t have the right to let their property invade your airspace and block your path.

You can’t physically touch the fence or flag, and if you really can’t face talking to him, start a paper trail by putting a note through the door, telling him clearly that the flag is hanging over the boundary directly across your path and flapping in the face of anyone walking to or from the front door. Ask him to move the flag/pole to where it will not overhang or otherwise cause a nuisance on your side of the boundary. Give him 28 days to do so and make it clear that if he doesn’t comply you will take further action.

If he ignores it, you can escalate to the LA Planning Enforcement team. In the UK, flagpoles attached to fences or buildings have strict regulations and if positioned in a way that causes a physical obstruction or projects over a boundary causing a hazard, the LA can order him to remove it or put it somewhere else. So to escalate you would need to take a video of the flag blocking your pathway, and then make a full report, supported by the video evidence online via your LA’s website under ‘Planning Enforcement or ‘Neighbour Nuisance.’ They will then investigate.

alifesizefoamversionofapopularfrozenfoodstuff · 15/07/2026 16:12

AmberSpy · 15/07/2026 10:33

YANBU. If it's likely to be just a World Cup thing I'd ignore as it'll go down soon. If you think it's permanent I'd try to have a word (although I appreciate it won't be easy!)

Yeah probably in about 6 hours 😄

ElsieJay · 15/07/2026 16:10

Garden shears ?

MuffHairLady · 15/07/2026 16:06

BeanQuisine · 15/07/2026 11:09

There'll always be an England,
Where the High Street drinker begs,
And shoppers in their PJs pause
To fill their gobs with Greggs.

Haha! Brilliant! Yours, BeanQuisine?

Happyjoe · 15/07/2026 16:05

If they are total arseholes, I would've cut it down.

chirrupybird · 15/07/2026 16:02

Can you offer to put it higher up for him it's probably as high as he can manage. How big is it?

Muffsies · 15/07/2026 16:02

You can remove anything that blocks your access/egress from your home. Take a picture of it flying accross your pathway, then pin it back (don't take it down and be careful not to damage it). If he complains ask him to move it somewhere so that it doesn't block your path.

Meanwhile, buy your own England flag (or make one) and hang it in your window, that way no one can make out that your issue is all about the flag. You just want to get to your front door, which is perfectly reasonable and lawful.

EverythingAIIAtOnce · 15/07/2026 15:59

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 15:52

It’s his fence and he’s entitled to attach what he likes to it. I don’t even care about the fact he has an England flag, what I’m not happy about is it hanging almost constantly over our side of the fence. It’s a big flag and not high enough not to touch people going in and out of our front gate when walking down the walkway.
The bloke is an inconsiderate old tw*t in my opinion anyway, if I liked the guy I would put up with it. He plays old country songs and sea shanties in his garden on loud most days in the summer. He doesn’t speak to his wife well, who now also avoids us presumably because she knows we’re not happy with him but we would happily talk to her if only she could get her DH to act a bit better.

Sea shanties? Does he have an accordian too?

I would leave him to it.

Eta: for now. If the flag is still there after the WC is over, then maybe address the issue.

ItsPerfectlyNormal · 15/07/2026 15:58

If it is flapping in your face in your garden it shouldn't be there. It is not unreasonable to want to be able to enter and leave your property without being smothered or garotted by a flag.

Fast800goingforit · 15/07/2026 15:55

Nannyfannybanny · 15/07/2026 10:37

Do you mean the St George Cross?

Pedants' corner is that way >>>>>

incrediblyincredible · 15/07/2026 15:52

It’s his fence and he’s entitled to attach what he likes to it. I don’t even care about the fact he has an England flag, what I’m not happy about is it hanging almost constantly over our side of the fence. It’s a big flag and not high enough not to touch people going in and out of our front gate when walking down the walkway.
The bloke is an inconsiderate old tw*t in my opinion anyway, if I liked the guy I would put up with it. He plays old country songs and sea shanties in his garden on loud most days in the summer. He doesn’t speak to his wife well, who now also avoids us presumably because she knows we’re not happy with him but we would happily talk to her if only she could get her DH to act a bit better.

OP posts:
Bullandbear · 15/07/2026 15:47

Ohmygawdflippingheck · 15/07/2026 15:46

Someone else up thread asked a similar question, am I missing something? The "England flag" is always the St George's Cross?

Ok, thanks.