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AIBU?

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MIL addiction to TEMU shopping

85 replies

MossGreenUmbrellas · 15/07/2026 09:13

Will start by saying I know she means well but this is getting out of control. I’m a minimalist who loves things that can last almost forever so they ‘go through life’ with me so to speak but now we’ve got a storeroom full of junk.

I have a nice Patagonia jacket that I’ve been using for years and years and years. It tore while I was out with DH’s family. MIL said she could get them for cheap for me (from temu), I said no thanks I have something I’d like in mind and will be going to get it from the store next month. She’s told me she has ordered 3 pieces for me from temu!

I really have no intentions of wearing them. Aside from questionable quality I just don’t want to wear some knockoff or any of this fast fashion stuff.

This is a recurring pattern. Told her time and time again no thanks, I don’t want her to buy me stuff, I can’t use it anyway. Told her I don’t trust the quality and want to get my own stuff. Even did the angle where I was saying I don’t know how ethical the manufacturing is. Pointless. She stills buy them.

Once it was a variation of a Black Hole Duffel I use. Once I got 10 faux leather straps for my watch. Twice it was some Birkenstock looking sandals.

Telling her directly doesn’t work. Telling DH to tell her directly falls flat cause she’ll just say she’s trying to do something nice for us.

I feel bad for throwing them straight away because she did spend money on them but the charity shop near us won’t take them either!!

AIBU? I dread our visits now cause 100% of the time there’s more poor quality temu crap I’d have to put in storage.

OP posts:
Zimunya · 15/07/2026 13:21

Agree with PP. You have to give it straight back to her to dispose of herself. "Thank you, MIL, but I have already ordered a jacket / don't use TEMU products for ethical reasons / don't need this so I am giving it back to you so you can return it and get your money back."

Mum2Fergus · 15/07/2026 13:17

MIL used to be like this. I sent everything back to her. It stopped, eventually.

ThatLassFromLeeds · 15/07/2026 13:15

SunnyKhakiMaker · 15/07/2026 12:51

"but the charity shop near us won’t take them either!!" Really? brand new items?

I imagine charity shops have to be careful - the crap from Temu may well not have been tested to UK standards… does that make the charity shop liable if they sell something and it later turns out to contain lead? And some of the stuff is such crap quality that they’d probably just be disposing of it anyway, which costs them.

SunnyKhakiMaker · 15/07/2026 12:51

"but the charity shop near us won’t take them either!!" Really? brand new items?

Pinkflamingo10 · 15/07/2026 12:05

Just say thank you that’s so kind but hand back straight away and say you’re not using anything temu/shein etc because
Unethical company /sweatshops
chemicals used in the manufacture and dye process etc not EU/UK approved for safety
Environmental impact of fast fashion etc

BigWhiteSnowCat · 15/07/2026 09:41

@MossGreenUmbrellas Completely unrelated, but Patagonia offers a repair service for some of their products so you might be able to get your jacket repaired instead of getting a new one! And I also relate... My MIL is the same (although with cheap Chinese crap from Amazon instead of Temu) and it's infuriating. I literally will say no to her face and leave it at hers, and she is slowly getting better. It took almost a decade, but I even managed to convince her that I'm perfectly happy with gift cards for Christmas!

Laiste · 15/07/2026 09:19

Yup, as above.
The only thing you haven't done yet is politely refused to take the things from her. So time to do that.

If she's having to sit there and look at the stuff she's had to take back home, or that you didn't take with you, and has to return it then i think it will sink in. Might take a few go's tho ....

Loulou4022 · 15/07/2026 09:19

Sounds like you’ve told her multiple times and she’s forgetting or ignoring you. I’d either accidentally forget to take the stuff with me or just bin it. Is she suffering with dementia?

incognito1991 · 15/07/2026 09:19

Show her all of the articles about dangerous clothing containing lead etc

parietal · 15/07/2026 09:15

You have to give it straight back to her. Don’t take it home. Say “I asked you not to buy this so I can’t take it. I will leave it here so you can return it”. Do this every time. It will feel rude but she is the one being unreasonable. And this is the only way she will get the message.