MIL addiction to TEMU shopping

I get the issue. But please don’t just throw things away because you don’t want them. Donate to a baby bank / women’s refuge / homeless shelter . Some people can’t be choosy about where things come from

My Mum used to do this but with charity shop stuff. I told her multiple times and it didn’t help. I actually think it’s rude and realising that helped me to be really really firm (it was firm enough that it felt rude) and just started saying no thank you and not holding my hand out to take the item. If she left it I immediate put it in the dustbin outside. If someone blatantly ignores your requests then it’s their problem when their money is wasted IMO. My Mum has moved on to really shit versions of things I would buy for myself from the supermarket. Like Christmas candles in June that lost their smell 4 months earlier and were reduced to 50p because no one wants them. It drives me mental! Some people love a ‘bargain’ it’s not a bargain if it’s shit though is it? 😂

Not sure how you get to that conclusion? I suspect many of all ages buy from it. Preferring to turn a blind eye to child labour, slave labour and pittance pay in favour of a bargain. Shameful.

You will only change her behaviour by changing yours. Refuse her purchases, don’t take them home. You need to be consistent.

TEMU and Shein have an almost gambling nature to their websites if you look properly. It wouldn’t shock me if people are addicted and then give things away to affirm that they’re not addicted as they’re helping others.

Cant stand the stuff from there.

My own mother also has a Temu addiction!! It’s unbearable.

I struggle with dealing with clutter and I’ve asked her to please stop with buying the kids absolute tat and toys that break after 1st use. She bought 5 bin bag sized bags worth of unwanted gifts at Christmas. Think see through t-shirts with tacky slogans, mugs, tea towels, aprons, all the same (I needed none of this). She also bought 100% polyester clothes for my newborn to wear during a heatwave. None of it is personal, or particularly wanted, it’s given because buying it gives her a buzz. I’ve actually found it quite hurtful because she doesn’t care. I’ve asked her not to buy anything else for me or the kids from Temu and now she just lies and says it’s from elsewhere. I’m not a snob, I don’t expect anything from her, let alone anything expensive. I’ve suggested Tesco baby clothes as an alternative but it landed on deaf ears. I hate clutter, I hate waste, I have having to throw things in the bin after one use because it’s not something that can be passed on. She’ll tell me she purchased something ridiculously cheap, and all I can think about is the child/exploitative labour that went into the product which is going into U.K landfill after less than 3 uses.

It. Is. A. Nightmare.

My 92-year old MIL is similarly addicted to Temu! She made so many purchases in the run-up to Christmas that they cancelled her card, thinking it had been stolen…

I'm a boomer and wouldn't touch the Temu stuff. I hate cheap throwaway clothes. I understand the OPs stance.

I agree you’re just going to have to hand it directly back to her with a polite but firm refusal. A friend did this years ago with something I’d bought for her that was completely wrong for her. I’ve never forgotten it.

This isn’t a ‘boomer’ thing fgs. Some people enjoy buying utter shite and some people don’t.

Talking to her obviously isn't working. You need to use your actions to show her you are serious. Refuse to have them, put them into her hands and make her take them home. Tell her if she keeps bringing crap over then she won't be Bke to come anymore because she is ignoring you.

Thank you so much your highness ,do you have any cake
we can eat ?-signed the Bin Men

It sounds like you've been really blunt, I'm not sure even giving them back will help stop her. Instead I'd find a way to get rid of it all that makes you feel ok. Is there a war on waste page or does your area have a way you can just leave stuff out for free? A friend who sells anything/everything on vinted?
I hate the idea of it all going in the bin so I'm sure there's a way around that.
Obviously it's very annoying, and you could really die on a hill about it, but it's coming from love. I think it comes from a similar place as over feeders and the like. Some people just really need to "give" stuff. I think if you want to really die on a hill, just don't take it away with you. Simply hand it back/leave it at her house but I think this definitely will hurt her feelings so depends if you're happy with that.

Obviously polite concerns aren't working. She doesn’t care so she’ll doesn’t understand why you would care either. So it’s time to be politely blunt. If she tries to hand you a bag of stuff, say no thank you and that you told her why you don’t want stuff from Temu. If she leaves stuff on the side, remind her to take it with her when she goes because the local charity shop won’t take it, you haven’t got time to go searching for one that will and your bins are almost full.

I’m a boomer - me and many of my friends are into cutting down crap , following Swedish death cleaning principles. In fact my millennial offspring told me the other day that I needed to add a few pieces to my wardrobe. To be honest I’m not sure how I would order Temu and Shien.

It’s a classic issue with boomers at the moment. The temu thing, I assume because it’s cheap etc they just fucking love it. My in laws are the same and I’m just like ??? It’s cheap china shite.

I would say the following, on repeat if necessary, hundreds of times if necessary. Just do NOT accept a single thing from now on.

"I know you think you're being kind and helpful but I've told you many times that I don't want the stuff you buy me. I'm not going to accept anything from you now because you're not listening to my wishes. So please put the stuff back in the car / the bag and take it home. Thank you "

I'd wrap everything up she's given and gift it all to her for Christmas.

Sorry OP but think you’re getting this one confused. I don’t think they’re rejecting it as it’s tat…most stuff is arguably made in China. They won’t know it’s Temu and if it’s new it’s sort of irrelevant where it’s from.

They won’t accept socks because they’re considered underwear. Whilst yours are new, weird people will have tried to donate worn underwear so it’s a strict no. Charity shops also only have small storage rooms so it’s not uncommon to say no to items if they have lots of one thing - that isn’t a Temu concern.

The 10 watch straps really had me laughing 😆how is she burning through a watch strap so fast to think anyone would benefit from 10? Brilliant.

If you keep getting ‘stuff’ start being firmer and simply saying no, you mentioned before you don’t want items from Temu but thanks. Short, to the point. She will get over it.

My mum went through a habit of having clear outs. Then trying to offload her old items on me as “they’re good quality” so should get used. I laughed and said “if you don’t want your tat, why would I? Charity or recycling.” It’s now a little joke as she still can’t help but do it. 😂

I avoid temu as I read on here that they steal your card details and sell them on to scammers.

I would leave it there and say you really didn’t want it.
If she asks why, ask is she really wanting to know ? And explain she won’t like the answer. Which she won’t.
Then tell her that you prefer to choose your own clothes. But also that Temu is highly likely to have very poor working conditions, use children, pay a pittance and you don’t really want to prop that sort of thing up. Buying from them does.

lol. As if. have you been in an actual charity shop recently? The shelves are full of this kind of tat.

A friend's dd ended up in hospital recently..allergic reaction tp a taffeta dressing up tutu.
Maybe research similar issues amd send mil the links.

We leave new stuff by the bins and the bin men take them for their own use. Put a label on saying 'free stuff, please take'. Ours are quite happy.

We had a similar situation with my MIL and repeatedly asked her not to buy things but she did not stop. It ended when DH had a genuine conversation with her about possible memory problems and how concerned he was - citing the number of times of the past year that she claimed to forget the things we'd talked about. Things are much better now!