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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel hurt my husband holidayed without me and baby?

194 replies

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 09:07

To think its a bit off that my husband is going on holiday today without me and his 4 month old son? I have no family nearby and we stay rurally (which was his choice) - its a 20 minute drive to city.

OP posts:
Tabarnak · 15/07/2026 10:42

There are swathes of isolated rural areas on ‘the tops’ (in the middle of a moor) in W Yorks that would only be a 20 min drive to a small city.

LBFseBrom · 15/07/2026 10:37

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 09:34

With his family, arranged a couple of weeks ago

It's strange his family think it is OK for him to go away without you when you have such a young baby. Is it a real holiday, ie a week or more, or a couple of nights somewhere for a special event or function?

I'm surprised he didn't run it by you and that you were not included. Did you not tell him how you felt about it when it was first mentioned?

This is difficult to understand but I cannot help wondering if the two of you are unhappy in your marriage. I do hope that is not the case.

ilovemeahack · 15/07/2026 10:37

Wenttoaweddingonamonday · 15/07/2026 09:45

How can 20 minutes drive into a city be rural?

Why aren’t you going?

I live rurally but can get into Oxford in 20 minutes. It’s not London, Manchester or Birmingham but it’s a city.

ChakraMid · 15/07/2026 10:32

Ask him if DH, you & the baby will be having a holiday together this year

Or if
you & the baby can go on holiday this year

Greengage1983 · 15/07/2026 10:32

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 09:34

With his family, arranged a couple of weeks ago

Well, that does indeed sound very hurtful. 4 months old is not too young to come on holiday. Why didn't they invite you and the baby? Do you normally get on with them?

Greengage1983 · 15/07/2026 10:30

Beyondjourneysend · 15/07/2026 09:55

The way you have drip fed very limited information makes me lean to you are being unreasonable somehow. However on the face of it being abandoned with a 4 month old whilst DH swans off to enjoy himself seems shit.

But I am another one that thinks living rurally but with a city you can reach in 20 mins sounds like an excellent best of both worlds.

Same - unless OP doesn't drive or something, that sounds like an excellent location. I live in a large town, and it still takes me 20 minutes to walk to my nearest supermarket, and 30 minutes to walk into town.

Hellohelga · 15/07/2026 10:30

Were you invited?

Bristolandlazy · 15/07/2026 10:24

Maybe you're not going as he tried to talk to you about you going and you gave very little information on how you felt etc. This post is hard work.

FudgeFudy · 15/07/2026 10:20

I'm just going to assume that there's something you're not telling us which means that actually he's not being unreasonable at all.

Bonkers1966 · 15/07/2026 10:18

Does nobody like you? What's the context? Big family event?

Maybeitllneverhappen · 15/07/2026 10:17

I was sympathetic on first reading, but on reflection, if you are as unforthcoming in your communication with him as you have been here, then maybe he has his reasons.

CitronellaCandles · 15/07/2026 10:16

Why so little information, OP? Context is all.

chocoluv · 15/07/2026 10:15

Were you not invited?

What type of holiday is it?

How long is it?

I think it’s fine to go on holiday without your partner (I wouldn’t want to take a 4 month old anyway) and I’m not sure what the relevance of the city being 20mins away, I assume you drive and that there is a closer shop.

I would ordinarily say it’s fine but obviously you’re not happy and so I am conflicted.

What are your concerns exactly?

moryn · 15/07/2026 09:59

We need more info

Beyondjourneysend · 15/07/2026 09:55

The way you have drip fed very limited information makes me lean to you are being unreasonable somehow. However on the face of it being abandoned with a 4 month old whilst DH swans off to enjoy himself seems shit.

But I am another one that thinks living rurally but with a city you can reach in 20 mins sounds like an excellent best of both worlds.

LogicVoid · 15/07/2026 09:51

You are being unreasonable to think it is 'a bit off'.
On the face of it, without any context or background, it is very off.
So, what are you going to do about it?

Sartre · 15/07/2026 09:51

Why weren’t you invited? You haven’t really given us the full picture here.

DaisyChain505 · 15/07/2026 09:51

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 09:34

With his family, arranged a couple of weeks ago

An I missing something here…surely you’re part of his family and would be going.

Baking07 · 15/07/2026 09:50

No, not normal.
Why have you moved so far out?
Go back to work as soon as you can.
He's an arsehole and you have made a huge mistake marrying him and having a baby.
Have you family to go to?

WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain · 15/07/2026 09:48

How did it come about.

Did he just walk in and declare him and his family are going in holiday in 2 weeks and you have to just deal with it? Or did he ask and you agreed and now resent it?

I would take this as a sign he sees the baby as soley your responsibility, and make some life choices based off that.

Honeyhonayboo · 15/07/2026 09:48

Why is it like drawing blood out of a stone?

firstofallimadelight · 15/07/2026 09:48

We’re you invited?

rainbowstardrops · 15/07/2026 09:47

We need far more information to make an informed opinion.
Were you invited? Do you all get on well? Etc etc

sittingonabeach · 15/07/2026 09:47

If you can’t drive and lack of public transport could make you feel rural

RampantIvy · 15/07/2026 09:47

hellospring26 · 15/07/2026 09:38

Why weren’t you invited? What’s the back story? 20 mins from a city isn’t really rural.

Of course it can be. I would say it isn't isolated, but it is rural.

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