AIBU to feel hurt my husband holidayed without me and baby?

More information needed. How long has he gone for? It sounds like you were invited but didn't like the hotel they had chosen. Are you stranded while he is away because you don't drive/he has taken your only car/there are no buses or trains nearby?

Reading the minimal information given in your comments, it sounds like you’re from the UK, the holiday is to see his family near London, he chose to go on the holiday, you were invited but chose not to go because you didn’t like the accommodation, if this is the case then YABU, you were offered to join and declined, that doesn’t mean your husband has to decline too. If he was going away for weeks abroad I could maybe understand the frustration, but he’s staying in the country and if it’s like usual trips in country it’ll be a few days away from home.

I'm confused. Why would 95 Yr old mum find it hurtful that you wanted A/C? I would have thought she would have too? Especially in this heat 🥵.

Like Norwich for example. Or living in the Forest of Dean.

You could of gone and chose not to

YABU.

1. You were invited, you chose not to go.
2. You're being precious about the heat.
3. She's 95, you'd think you can be accommodating of someone so very elderly.
4. 20 minutes to the city or the shops is nothing
5. He's two hours away. If there was a problem he could be straight back with you.

If the mother is 95, he's probably 55 - 70. If you have a 4 month old, this will be a significant age difference. Is that part of why you didn't want to go?

Do they disapprove of your relationship?

Well am glad that my distractedly typed post has given such excitement!
How embarrassing for me. Fully chastised! 😆

Not the whole thread, no! That first response asking the baby's age made me face palm and I thought 'fuck this!' as I knew the thread would be full of people that hadn't read the OP properly

This has been mentioned a few times in the thread that the OP states the baby is 4 months old.

Did you not read it? 😉

Inconsiderate and selfish of him.

YABU

DH did two legs of the round the world yacht race. One when I was four months pregnant. The other when baby was seven months old. We were rural. I just topped up the freezer, made sure there were plenty of logs for the log burner because of power cuts. He was gone between three and four weeks each time. Friends with husbands working offshore managed twin babies for nearly two months.

Single parents manage every day.

No, it is not a bit off that your DH is going on holiday with his mum and leaving you. You were invited and declined, just because you declined it doesn’t mean your DH has to. At 95 there’s not going to be many more summers for a holiday so he does right to go spend time with her

I don't think there's any point in continuing to beg the OP for any context whatsoever.

I can't see the problem with the man visiting his very elderly mother, with OP declining to go, with shops (?) being a 20 minute drive away.

Why do you care what she thinks? Book into an air conditioned hotel and join them.

Especially if they are very elderly! My parents don’t feel confident going on their own anymore & we are happy to spend timee with them as we know it is limited!

What a bizarre way to frame it. What’s wrong with taking a family holiday with your parents as an adult? It’s a pretty normal thing to do.

Bit of a drip feed @Pepetheparrot

You were invited and you chose not to go.

Either you’re awkward and fussy and your husband had enough and just went ahead with the plans or he’s not a great husband and didn’t advocate for his families legitimate needs for the trip.

Only you know which one is true.

Hang on. Right, I'm catching up with some extra info on board now.

20 minutes from the nearest CITY?! Babe, that's nothing! I live 20 minutes from the nearest city but I can get there by train, bus, car and I live in a town with plenty of shops, a range of supermarkets, parks, beaches, doctors, schools, churches. 20 minutes from a city isn't the middle of nowhere.

Even rurally, the more rural places I know of have a park, pub, church, shop etc.

The 95 year old who was hurt that you wanted to stay in a hotel with AC near London - you're going to have to give us more on that. Like, was there a family visit planned and you refused to stay in the family home because you'd only go if you were in an air conditioned hotel? Do you live in an air conditioned house? Because I don't. You're hung up on the AC, the 95 year old probs thinks you've just poopooed her home.

Literally guessing here because you're giving us NOTHING.

Big thing is: YOU WERE ACTUALLY INVITED??!! This isn't a throw away comment, this is ESSENTIAL to the original question and changes EVERYTHING.

Why would you not go on the holiday with your baby and husband and family?

My initial response was eek, husband appears to be isolating her and controlling her and how outrageous that he's gone off on hols without her but with all the extra details hmm... it's not quite as clear cut as first it seemed and I want to take back my original reading of the situation.

You were invited and you declined. YABU

I'm in!

Unless there's a very good reason you can't go-for example the holiday is something like a memorial for one of their family members you didn't know, and it would be inappropriate for a baby to be there. But as you mention nothing like this, no it's not ok. When my kids grow up, if they're married and have kids, there's no way I'd expect them to come on holiday without their spouse and child-I'd never dream of inviting them alone, and expecting them to leave their new baby!

Oh, what?! That info wasn't in the first two posts I read from OP! Bloody hell. That changes EVERYTHING!

Well then. You decided not to go .