AIBU to feel hurt my husband holidayed without me and baby?

Since when is he taking the baby? And anyway isn't it his baby also?

Honestly, the holiday in its own really wouldnt bother me. However, you've posted before and you H is a very selfish person. You are basically a single parent. Id make it official.

So you were invited but chose not to go.

His mun is 95 and wants to spend time with her

You are being Unreasonable

I would guess OP is South Asian as she said stay instead of live. Also it would tally with her MIL being a pain.

How long is he going to be away for OP? And did you give your genuine consent to him taking your baby away from you?

He must be in his 50s at least? I wouldn’t want a baby around me at that age 🤣

I don't think it's inherently hurtfyl to have a holiday without your partner and child. Though it's pretty hurtful to go off on holiday without your partner if they don't want you to. And to leave a new mother with a 4 month old when they don't want you to go and it's optional is selfish.

I assume you talked about it and asked him not to, OP?

I would be seriously considering what options I had to get into a position where I was not living with someone I couldn't rely on. Even as a one off, it's pretty damning. With a 4 month old he should be stepping up and being more considerate and helpful, not ducking out of things and following his own whims.

I think there’s a lot of different issues here. Generally I don’t think it’s a problem for someone to go away on a holiday without their partner if both partners are on board with it etc. Your baby is only 4m so I understand why you might not want to go away but the important thing is how you and your DP have spoken together about this. I’d expect a kind and reasonable discussion about this including the purpose of the holiday, why he wants to go, how his mother has responded to your AC point/alternative options for accommodation, how the baby is, what your worries are about going away or staying at home alone and any possible ways to alleviate these. And this conversation is best framed with both people really listening to the others point of view and not being defensive, critical or judgmental. This is the only way to try reach solutions/compromise. It’s exhausting when children are young and I think it’s when couples can feel tested as you experience it differently. But you really have to work together otherwise resentment sets in and you just drift apart. If your DP is generally a decent person then trying to work things out together is possible. If he is generally less bothered about your needs, this could be a bigger issue that needs some serious reflection. Best wishes.

You were invited but chose not to go!!

This is all sounds very strange. You’re not giving us much to work with here. Why are you being so passive ?

What does “loosely” invited mean?

Did his family say to you both “do you both want to come to London?” Or did his family say to him “Do you want to come to London? Pepe can come too if she wants?”

How exactly did the offer or conversation go about?

Also, what did your husband and the other members say when your MIL was hurt about the aircon comment? What exactly did you say?

I’d have thought most hotels in London have AC anyway.

If you opted not to go I don’t think your husband is in the wrong for going.

I wouldn’t even call a few nights in London a “holiday” if you already live in England. It’s more a weekend away/city trip.

I’d welcome drip feed, the Op is giving nothing. Pointless post from her

Sorry, have read the updates, you were invited and didn't want to go.
So then you can't complain about him going then.

Would you have been happy to go with him?

You were invited but chose not to go. Don't know why you're complaining then?

There’s not enough info here. On what you’ve said so far, you were all invited and you declined. You expect your husband not go as you’re not. You are upset due to a comment about a/c.
if that’s it, you seem unreasonable. How long is this trip for?

Another pointless drip feed post 🙄

Is your husband ordinarily rude, dismissive and accepting of his family disrespecting you and his child ?

Behave 😆 he's going to visit his mother who can't have very long left to live.

OP opted not to attend. It's fine.

I’m wondering if the “holiday” was actually to visit MIL and stay in her house and that’s why MIL found it hurtful that OP would rather stay in an hotel; maybe she thought wanting AC was just an excuse especially if OP doesn't have it in her own house.

YABU why shouldn’t he have a holiday . I would expect him to give you a well earned break when he returns though .

Do you have air conditioning at home? I would prefer to stay in a hotel that had air conditioning but I don't think it would be the only deciding factor in terms of a holiday because I don't have air conditioning at home. If his mother is 95, realistically how many more family holidays is he's going to get to have with her?

You've since updated that you were asked to go, and chose not to.

So no, your husband is not being unreasonable for going. You're the unreasonable one.

You sound like very hard work.

Oh honestly what a load of drama. If you declined the invite then that’s your problem.
It sounds like you’re trying to make him feel guilty for seeing his family which is just manipulation.

And it’s downright stupid to live a 20
min drive from shops unless you drive yourself. Why an earth did you move there? What would you do if your DH had to travel with work, or was ill? Unless your DH stuffed you into the boot of the car in a blindfold I assume you had some say in this? But I would seriously be reconsidering options if you really are this helpless every time he is away. But, for now, if you got a big shop in before he goes and you’ve got taxis for an emergency then I think that’s the best option.

They didn’t exclude her she excluded herself

So he let his family exclude you, his wife and the mother of his child , from a holiday on the basis you needed air on ? A holiday in which it doesn’t sound like you were welcome on in the first place.

I don’t think that you’re unreasonable for wanting air con with an infant.

Is your husband ordinarily rude, dismissive and accepting of his family disrespecting you and his child ?

What’s hurtful about ac? You’re being unreasonable. It’s a few days. Not a few months.