AIBU to feel hurt my husband holidayed without me and baby?

RampantIvy · 29/07/2026 23:07

DreamTheMoors · 29/07/2026 17:53

There’s hotels near London without AC or climate control?

Do they not have heat either?

I have travelled all over the USA and I don’t think I’ve ever come across a hotel without some sort of AC - even if it was just a cooler in the window.

Australia too.

But not London?

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Are you not British?

There are loads of hotels/airbnbs that don't have aircon. Until the last few years we haven't needed it. The newer chain hotels have it, but older Premier inns don't.

DreamTheMoors · 29/07/2026 17:53

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 10:59

I was loosely invited but I opted not to go as his 95 year old mother said it was hurtful I wanted to stay in an AC hotel due to the heat near London

There’s hotels near London without AC or climate control?

Do they not have heat either?

I have travelled all over the USA and I don’t think I’ve ever come across a hotel without some sort of AC - even if it was just a cooler in the window.

Australia too.

But not London?

LBFseBrom · 17/07/2026 20:32

thisandthats · 15/07/2026 12:16

What like going on holiday with his mummy and daddy? Not really a massively grown up thing to do. Not sure I'd fancy him much after I guess.

Though at 95 is it that he wants to spend time with them before they are gone and really it was you that didn't want to go because of lack of aircon?

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Is there more than one person of 95? I thought only his mother was mentioned.

Cherrytree86 · 17/07/2026 10:48

Pherian · 17/07/2026 10:26

Who cares.

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@Pherian well, OP does clearly 🤷‍♀️

user1492757084 · 17/07/2026 10:31

It's your choice. Do you want to change your mind? You can.
Stay at an air conditioned motel room nearby and visit family during the cool part of one day. Do your own thing. Visit galleries and gardens, eat out with baby.

Pherian · 17/07/2026 10:26

Cherrytree86 · 17/07/2026 10:24

@Pherian

its not needed. 95% of houses in uk wont have air con

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Who cares.

Cherrytree86 · 17/07/2026 10:24

Pherian · 17/07/2026 10:16

Are the 95 year old granny who hurt her feelings in this story ? You've got that energy.

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@Pherian

its not needed. 95% of houses in uk wont have air con

Pherian · 17/07/2026 10:16

Cherrytree86 · 17/07/2026 10:15

@Pherian

air con is not needed

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Are the 95 year old granny who hurt her feelings in this story ? You've got that energy.

Cherrytree86 · 17/07/2026 10:15

Pherian · 17/07/2026 09:55

He did let them exclude her. The reason she didn't want to go is because very rightly she wants to stay in a hotel with aircon because she has an infant. The heat has been unbearable and this isn't an unreasonable request right now.

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@Pherian

air con is not needed

Pherian · 17/07/2026 09:55

rwalker · 15/07/2026 16:00

They didn’t exclude her she excluded herself

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He did let them exclude her. The reason she didn't want to go is because very rightly she wants to stay in a hotel with aircon because she has an infant. The heat has been unbearable and this isn't an unreasonable request right now.

Thechaseison71 · 16/07/2026 21:50

Dalston · 16/07/2026 21:47

IMO he is bang out of order. You have a 4 month old baby and he’s swanning off on holiday? I would be livid. Do you have anyone that can come and stay over for a while? Or can you and baby stay with family?

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She chose not to accompany him.

Dalston · 16/07/2026 21:47

Pepetheparrot · 15/07/2026 09:07

To think its a bit off that my husband is going on holiday today without me and his 4 month old son? I have no family nearby and we stay rurally (which was his choice) - its a 20 minute drive to city.

IMO he is bang out of order. You have a 4 month old baby and he’s swanning off on holiday? I would be livid. Do you have anyone that can come and stay over for a while? Or can you and baby stay with family?

ClayPotaLot · 16/07/2026 21:02

LameBorzoi · 16/07/2026 12:50

I don't think it's likely that staying with his 95 year old mother is "ducking out on whims".

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Why? There’s no suggestion it was just his mum, is there?

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 16/07/2026 19:26

Madamefroufrou · 16/07/2026 17:33

OP isn’t returning, folks !

Yup!

Madamefroufrou · 16/07/2026 17:33

OP isn’t returning, folks !

Madamefroufrou · 16/07/2026 17:32

Brainstorm23 · 15/07/2026 17:11

I would guess OP is South Asian as she said stay instead of live. Also it would tally with her MIL being a pain.

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or Scottish

LameBorzoi · 16/07/2026 12:50

ClayPotaLot · 15/07/2026 16:44

I don't think it's inherently hurtfyl to have a holiday without your partner and child. Though it's pretty hurtful to go off on holiday without your partner if they don't want you to. And to leave a new mother with a 4 month old when they don't want you to go and it's optional is selfish.

I assume you talked about it and asked him not to, OP?

I would be seriously considering what options I had to get into a position where I was not living with someone I couldn't rely on. Even as a one off, it's pretty damning. With a 4 month old he should be stepping up and being more considerate and helpful, not ducking out of things and following his own whims.

I don't think it's likely that staying with his 95 year old mother is "ducking out on whims".

NotAnotherScarf · 15/07/2026 19:34

BagaChips · 15/07/2026 09:13

I'm going to take a wild guess that the baby is 4 months old, considering that's what it says in the OP

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Bloody hell...do you also predict lotto numbers? Could you guess at last week's

Ruffledduck1 · 15/07/2026 19:31

I think you need to explain more.
This might be only chance for the whole family to be together.

But you say, loosely invited. Believe me, I know a genuine invite from a reluctant one. Please tell us more!

JustGiveMeReason · 15/07/2026 18:39

What is the point in starting a thread with so little information or context, and then refusing to answer anyone's questions or give any context ?

YABVVVU for that.

None of us can really comment as to whether the situation is unreasonable or not as you aren't engaging.

Thechaseison71 · 15/07/2026 18:35

Dliplop · 15/07/2026 18:01

How old is DH if his mother is 95? Does he have older kids/an ex wife going?

of course a 4 month old needs AC if available.

How many people in the UK have aircon?

thinkofsomethingdifferent · 15/07/2026 18:27

This is worse than a dripping tap!

But YABU. My mum is taking my very frail 90yo grandparents this weekend. We have a caravan very near to the location where they are holidaying and they’ve asked us to go so that we can “get photos at the seaside all together one last time (mums words). We have no aircon. We have two teens (17 & 14), it’s the end of term, lots of parties going on. We have a 60th birthday party which has been long standing in the diary. Do we want to go? Not really, it’ll be stuffy, and we will be letting our friends down. Do the teens want to go? Hell no. But are we going? YES! I love my grandparents dearly, my children are incredibly lucky to still have their great-grandparents, and I agree with the sentiment that pretty soon, we will only have photographs of them.

So without knowing the context due to the leaking tap you have, it’s difficult to understand why you declined the trip. But at 96, time and moments are precious - I don’t think my grandparents will make 96. So you should seize every opportunity to get those photos and create those memories, because let’s face it, your child won’t remember them and photos will be all that is left - and they will be without him in it because you chose not to go.

Dliplop · 15/07/2026 18:01

How old is DH if his mother is 95? Does he have older kids/an ex wife going?

of course a 4 month old needs AC if available.

Applesonthelawn · 15/07/2026 17:44

I voted YANBU but with the further context, it sounds like you chose not to go and you expected him to take your lead and do likewise. In that case, you should have discussed it with him specifically and not just expected a certain response, which in his eyes may not have seemed totally unreasonable. Better communication.

Thechaseison71 · 15/07/2026 17:39

Brainstorm23 · 15/07/2026 17:11

I would guess OP is South Asian as she said stay instead of live. Also it would tally with her MIL being a pain.

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My friend in Aberdeen always says " stay " rather than live. Thought was a Scottish thing