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AIBU?

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AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

766 replies

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 21:37

My sister is getting married in just over 2 weeks. I have helped her to organise her wedding and looked after her child when she has been to appointments and had wedding things to sort out. It’s a big wedding, she’s found it all quite stressful so I have done what I can to help.

I have booked 2 weeks off after her wedding because I feel like I need the rest after all the stress and I have leave to use. My husband and I are going away for 2 nights but we plan to chill out at home, get some things done around the house, go out for meals, have an evening at the theatre and just spend some time together.

My sister wasn’t planning on a honeymoon but her in-laws have just gifted them 2 weeks at their holiday home. Her partner was aware but it was a surprise to my sister until over the weekend when they told her.

We presumed they would take their child with them but yesterday they asked if we would have her when they’re away so they get a proper honeymoon. I must have looked horrified as my sister said maybe in-laws could have her for one week so could we just have her for one week.

I have said no as my husband and I also want to spend time together. My sisters child is 8 and although she is lovely, we’ll have to entertain her. Our children are older so don’t require looking after and we have had a stressful few months with GCSEs and the wedding prep. We just want to relax. My husband has also said absolutely no way.

My sisters in laws have contacted me to say that we can sort this between us and let my sister and new husband have a lovely honeymoon.

Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · 16/07/2026 16:24

Any updates OP?

LunaShip · 16/07/2026 15:11

NotHappyFamilies · 15/07/2026 20:51

Also, the man my sister is marrying is my nieces biological father not her step father.

Oh for goodness sake, don't do that! You know it won't stop at that. You know that. They will concoct some excuse between them why you need to do 'just another day or two'. Don't give them that inch. Just as I said, tell them it's their turn to step up, you are not available at all. Come on, you can do it!

Cherrysoup · 16/07/2026 15:00

NotHappyFamilies · 15/07/2026 20:49

I’m reading a few posts whilst watching the football.

When I said my sisters in laws, I meant her parents in law. Sorry for confusion.

I text them back today to say we can do a couple of days but no more and I haven’t heard anything back from them.

Good for you! They organised the honeymoon, they can organise childcare.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 16/07/2026 14:58

The dad is/was happy to honeymoon with their daughter, it’s only the mum who doesn’t want to.

Aslana · 16/07/2026 14:55

So they are newly married but not new parents.

Whowhenwhatwear · 16/07/2026 13:47

You'r sister has gone from having no honeymoon planned to now expecting 2 weeks childfree. She is unreasonable.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/07/2026 13:02

Who looked after the sister’s little girl when they went away for a fortnight previously?

Goatsarebest · 16/07/2026 12:24

What this boils down to is the parents of her sister's husband unilaterally decided that they would include the OP in childcare arrangements for the week OP was on AL with her family, so their son and his wife could spend 2 weeks child free on holiday. So they have valued the newly wed couple having 2 weeks child free holiday above the OP being able to spend much needed quality time with her partner and children. Without even properly consulting on it.
It would be a hard no from me.

Goatsarebest · 16/07/2026 12:10

Cheeseandolivesplease · 15/07/2026 01:12

@PrettyLittleRose Well due to Covid we married 18 months after the birth of our daughter - made zero difference. We wouldn't have had a snazzy honeymoon anyway and as it happens our "honeymoon" was a long weekend away with our daughter in the UK.
So no - wasn't essential for us to be married before we had our daughter.

Edited

Nobody has said it is essential to be married before having children. What has been said on a number of replies is if you want a honeymoon without your children being there, it is better to get married before you have your children. Nobody has passed moral judgement on individual choices, just pointed out the facts.

rhodrhi · 16/07/2026 11:26

Most people only get four or five weeks a year. I absolutely wouldn't mind using 2/3 days to look after my sister's child but not a full week.

lizzyBennet08 · 16/07/2026 10:20

I'd tell them you're heading off for a week last minute .

Cheeseandolivesplease · 16/07/2026 09:18

@fashionqueen0123 Absolutely this. We had a short, rather belated, long weekend "honeymoon" when our daughter turned 6 and we'd been married for 4.5 years! She stayed with my mum and had a great time - as did we ❤️

fashionqueen0123 · 16/07/2026 09:06

NotHappyFamilies · 15/07/2026 20:51

Also, the man my sister is marrying is my nieces biological father not her step father.

Well you accept if you have kids before getting married then a honeymoon with no kids isn’t always possible.

Poppy61 · 16/07/2026 08:59

mugglemother · 15/07/2026 07:39

I would offer to have niece for a week to give my sister a honeymoon. Honestly, this is a one-off & surely a week is enough time to recover from someone else’s wedding .

I don't think it will be a one off. The daughter has been left behind for 2 weeks on another occasion.

SheilaFentiman · 16/07/2026 08:46

maisybobbins · 16/07/2026 08:44

id offer three to four days. A week is too much.

OP has replied to DSis’s PILs saying she will do a couple of days.

ETA it’s notable that DSis’s first expectation was for OP to do the full two weeks!

maisybobbins · 16/07/2026 08:44

id offer three to four days. A week is too much.

MyLimeGuide · 16/07/2026 08:29

Isittimeformynapyet · 14/07/2026 21:41

Yes, the groom's family can complete their gift by including childcare, rather than being magnanimous with your time off.

Bloody this the nerve of some people

Error404FucksNotFound · 16/07/2026 08:27

Aslana · 16/07/2026 07:51

A new husband after 8 years or so...
Confused!

Well, they lived together but were not married.

When people who are not married get married, they become newly married.

This is because they werent married, then they are. So its a new thing. The marriage.

Therefore, although they have been in a relationship for 8 years, when they get married, they are newly married.

Since they are newly married, he is her new husband and she is his new wife.

Missey85 · 16/07/2026 08:05

So he said nothing hoping you'd be a good girl and not make a fuss it's their problem not yours your a guest not a paid nanny 🤬

MagicKittens · 16/07/2026 07:55

"No, we have already given up part of our break to look after MIL. We are not giving up the rest to look after DN."

SirIsaacNewtonsstringbag · 16/07/2026 07:51

Why on earth don't the child's parents want her? That's the question. It's beyond weird. If you have a child it's a family holiday.

Aslana · 16/07/2026 07:51

A new husband after 8 years or so...
Confused!

PinkEasterbunny · 16/07/2026 07:44

She was coping with a baby and toddler back then, when my kids were younger, so she didn’t look after my children.

She was coping with a baby who BECAME a toddler.

This is what happens on MN, after the initial helpful replies posters start digging into less relevant details and go off at unhelpful tangents

Lifestooshort71 · 16/07/2026 07:07

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 16/07/2026 06:09

How many times are you going to ask the same damn question? Especially since it has been answered.

The child was a newborn, then a baby, than a toddler and NOW is 8 years old. \

Capisce? It really isn't rocket science.

Unnecessarily rude. The OP said:

She was coping with a baby and toddler back then, when my kids were younger, so she didn’t look after my children.
and then:
I was asked if my sister helped with my children when they were young and I said no because she lived abroad. She came back to live here when she was pregnant but by that time my children were already 7 and 10. My sister then had had my niece and was busy looking after her so I didn’t ask her to look after my children
not totally clear if the niece was a second child or not.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 16/07/2026 06:09

misscris · 15/07/2026 17:24

So your sister has two children?

How many times are you going to ask the same damn question? Especially since it has been answered.

The child was a newborn, then a baby, than a toddler and NOW is 8 years old. \

Capisce? It really isn't rocket science.

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