AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

If they've been together long enough to have a child that age, they don't need a proper honeymoon. They can have a family holiday and arrange a couple's-only holiday another time, when they have time to find sufficient childcare. Two weeks is a long time for a honeymoon, anyway, isn't it? Maybe not these days, but I would have thought a week would be plenty!

That’s actually exactly what is happening

You should have stuck with no, full stop. Now you have committed to a few days, let's hope the person who would take over after 2 days, carries this out and doesn't leave her with you for longer.

You don't have to give reasons why you don't want to help, your life, your holiday allowance, so I'd go back and say it isn't going to work, sorry.

I completely agree with that whether it’s the child’s mother or step mother.

Actually since the groom assumed they would take the child with them there was no need to arrange childcare. It seems it is OPs sister who has changed the plans and is expecting her sister to pick up the brunt of it.

MN is strange about this sort of thing. The child's DM doesn't want to take her on her Honeymoon despite the fact her soon to be DH is happy to take her. If she was the child's new Step Mother and said she wanted her Honeymoon to be just her and her new DH she'd be jumped on and told that would make the child feel unwanted and pushed out.

I find it wild that someone would want to leave a child that age with relatives for two weeks. What a pair of bastards. Poor kid! OP stick to your guns.

It doesn’t, and you’ll be hard pushed to be able to quote me saying that.

i was talking in the broader sense, as i think - like I said - that the posts shaming the sister for daring to be ok leaving her child with family members for two weeks are bollocks.

Only on MN is looking after your niece for a week for a (hopefully) once in a lifetime honeymoon such a traumatic affair.
For me, helping my sister out would not be a problem at all.
You're not in your 90s with no experience of children and you don't have to go to Alton Towers everyday. Poor kid feelings like no one wants her.

Agree you shouldn’t do it, it’s obvious from what you’ve said neither you or DH have capacity and need this time to focus back on your immediate family.

A 2 week honeymoon is a luxury for when you don’t have young DC.

They should compromise and go for a week.

As a compromise of sorts once she's had a week with her grandparents you fly her out to join them for the second week? It will be one long day for you but if she pays for the flights (of course) they get 1 week off then ha either own kid to look after

YANBU your sister husband and his parents have known for some time. They are not youngsters in the flush of love. They have a child and arrangements should have been made long before this.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting quality time with your partner". Hmm. Interesting. Would this be the same "quality time with their partner" that the OP herself would like to prioritise over the two weeks' holiday she has already booked and planned? Why does the sister's "quality time" plans trump OP's?!

Yes

"Proper Honeymoon". Is your niece the child of the groom.
In which case...honeymoon over already. You made a kid, act like parents !!!!

This!

What was the plan for niece before they got wind of you having two weeks off work?! Was it to take her?

Stick to your guns op and say no. I'd suggest if you do offer 2 nights care, that you offer the last two. Cynical perhaps but better safe than sorry or you will likely end up with more than just the two nights. Plus offering at the end of the two weeks means you've all had plenty of time to decompress in your own family unit.

Any update from them op?

Your husband has said "no way" so there's your answer.

Not your responsibility and she's a cheeky fucker.

It's the offering of your time that would bug me. This isn't your problem. Before this gift was happening they should have thought about childcare or they take the child with them.

My family are good at this. Let's get a rota or you can do something or you can slot into our plans. Whilst they have a lovely time. No.

It is a terrible message to send that 8 year old that now they are married she gets posted off to relatives while they holiday. I can't believe they are thinking about it! Absolutely say no, and tell them to act like a family.

Have you heard from your sister or got a reply from the in laws, @NotHappyFamilies?

If you read all the OP's posts you will see that it is not really all down to PILs.

In one of her posts she says:

My sisters partner was fully expecting that their child went with them. It’s my sister that wants to go without her.

So it seems like the PIL offered and the DH-to-be accepted this as a family holiday to include their little girl. It's the sister who has caused the issue by deciding she wants it to be a honeymoon with just the two of them. I guess the PILs are now trying to see how they might help to accommodate that. But really what it boils down to is the sister being a CF.

Personally I could never have left my 8yo DC for two weeks while I holidayed.

@Goatsarebest
Well I do agree with that. For us, we chose the existence of our child coming before any wedding or honeymoon; both could wait, but at 39 and 43 our fertility could very well not have.
Watching my husband take on the role of a biological dad for the first (and last) time so beautifully was all the more reason as to why I wanted to marry him. It was a joy to have our little girl walk down the aisle between us and we would have not changed a thing ❤️