AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

But it's not OPs job to manage this. Adults who don't want to take their kids on honeymoon, should get married before having said kids!

OP isn't a parent to this child - it's not her responsibility - she wants a holiday with her own husband, and as someone with no young kids, that's her right.

Wedding yes, honeymoon no, imo (with the proviso that proper childcare arrangements are made, not like this scenario!) Couples are entitled to some adult time to themselves regardless whether they have kids. I find the thought of someone taking their child on honeymoon quite surreal tbh.

An eight-year-old child of the couple should be included in the joy of a wedding and honeymoon, not dumped on unwilling relatives

I think there needs to be a means to encourage posters to read all of the Op's posts before posting.

Maybe like a button which reveals all of their contributions in one go so you don't have to search through the thread for them.

I think yabu! Its an 8yo.
however thats not to say its incredibly poor planning by pil and the dh! Also why would you book something for during school holidays? As the poor kid could have gone but isnt and because school is off generally more expensive and any person looking after the 8yo would have to take them places. Bet the kid will be sad…
i dont think any guest needs time off after the wedding. But if you were genuinely booked places then fair enough.
State school hols are so short its 2/5 of your kids summer too

Why should the OP only get a few days of her two week holiday to relax?!

When our neighbours got married, they took their kids with them to Spain for their honeymoon, for 2 weeks.

I'm afraid I didn't express myself very well in my earlier post. I understand the circumstances but I was struck by how much stick the Op was getting, I muddied the waters mentioning stepmothers! I thought your explanation of the thread was perfect, thanks for trying to keep me updated

Can’t you do a few days? Jeez

That are a long standing family of three not a pair of bright eyed newly weds .

They should take their daughter on their family holiday and not impinge on someone else’s . Poor daughter. Sounds like your sister has always felt entitled to your time.

team DH - “fuck that!”

Well done for prioritising you & your relationship with your husband. It’s important to spend proper time together to connect without work stress etc. just say you’ve booked holiday with your husband and at most you can have your niece for 1-2 nights. If you’d had more warning you could have made arrangements but to spring it on you isn’t reasonable. It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page which is good.

Quality time really means "happy time" (horny time)

2 weeks of it!!!!

Poor child. Parents are like dogs on heat. Dirty boi!!!!

It’s gone midnight and I’m really tired so please forgive me if I’ve misunderstood your post, but the bride and groom are the parents of the girl, her mum and dad are getting married. Her dad is happy to take her with them but her mum is saying no, we’ll leave her behind with OP (who is the Mums sister) or the grandparents (who are dad’s parents).

I think she means that the niece was a baby and then a toddler and Dsis was coping with the stages consecutively, not that there are two children. But I was confused at first too.

It's not the only reason why getting married before the kids come along is a good idea.

There will be nothing worse for the child than staying with relatives that don't want her. Say no and stick to it.

I’m a bit troubled by the idea of this 8-year-old being passed around for two weeks. People are urging you to have him for a couple of days, it seems you’ve agreed to this. Then he goes somewhere else for another few days, then moves on again . . . . This is no way for a young child to live for two weeks, however well he knows those caring for him.

They go for one week while the in-laws look after the child. A week is plenty for a nice honeymoon.

2 weeks is also a very long time to leave an 8 year old. Yanbu at all, the in laws can do 2 weeks if they are so keen.

I would also say no to more than a couple of nights, when you have kids a couple of nights away is absolute luxury surely, 2 weeks is an extremely long time to be away from an 8 year old?

You're well within your right to decline. I don't think it's harsh at all. It sounds like you've done an awful lot and you also have care responsibilities. Time off is precious and you don't need to explain yourself. For your sanity and health, enjoy your break and don't do the childcare.

The people who gifted the break can sort the childcare if they are that bothered.

Agreed.

Somehow gifting a 2 week holiday is generous but at the same time inconsiderate.
Not sure how that works but they have managed it.
😂

I'd offer up a few days - I frequently had my older brothers kids for a weekend when they were younger, it was fun to throw a few extra kids into the mix and now they're young adults we have a really close relationship as a result if the time we spent without their parents and I love it.

I don’t think you’ve read posters comments. There is plenty of criticism that she wants to leave her child behind for a fortnight.