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AIBU?

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AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

766 replies

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 21:37

My sister is getting married in just over 2 weeks. I have helped her to organise her wedding and looked after her child when she has been to appointments and had wedding things to sort out. It’s a big wedding, she’s found it all quite stressful so I have done what I can to help.

I have booked 2 weeks off after her wedding because I feel like I need the rest after all the stress and I have leave to use. My husband and I are going away for 2 nights but we plan to chill out at home, get some things done around the house, go out for meals, have an evening at the theatre and just spend some time together.

My sister wasn’t planning on a honeymoon but her in-laws have just gifted them 2 weeks at their holiday home. Her partner was aware but it was a surprise to my sister until over the weekend when they told her.

We presumed they would take their child with them but yesterday they asked if we would have her when they’re away so they get a proper honeymoon. I must have looked horrified as my sister said maybe in-laws could have her for one week so could we just have her for one week.

I have said no as my husband and I also want to spend time together. My sisters child is 8 and although she is lovely, we’ll have to entertain her. Our children are older so don’t require looking after and we have had a stressful few months with GCSEs and the wedding prep. We just want to relax. My husband has also said absolutely no way.

My sisters in laws have contacted me to say that we can sort this between us and let my sister and new husband have a lovely honeymoon.

Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 17/07/2026 14:20

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/07/2026 13:56

Your sister sounds selfish. Wanting 2w without her daughter

a week is plenty and takes enough arranging

and in-laws if they want to gift 2w then need to also gift childcare not expect everyone else to do it

I think the in-laws expected, as the soon to be husband did, the daughter would be going on the holiday too.
I still maintain, despite it being straight after the wedding, it's not a honeymoon.

cantbebothered101 · 17/07/2026 14:15

I speak as a mother of 3 who goes away for a week every year with girlfriends and it’s sheer bliss but I think it’s a bit mean to leave an 8 year old at home for 2 weeks. You can’t have it all when you are a parent!

Mariets · 17/07/2026 14:05

They've obviously been together for a while if they have an eight year old. Surely it's just going to he like a holiday so why can't they take her with them?

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/07/2026 13:56

Your sister sounds selfish. Wanting 2w without her daughter

a week is plenty and takes enough arranging

and in-laws if they want to gift 2w then need to also gift childcare not expect everyone else to do it

SummerHasArrivedatLast · 17/07/2026 13:48

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:15

😮 Noooooo!

Is this a serious suggestion?

I think Sprinkles is joking. She must be. Surely...

grumpygrape · 17/07/2026 13:38

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:22

I know you love your sister but she sounds very entitled. If they are sidelining her dd already as a couple, this isn’t a very good sign op. This is likely to be the start of a long period of ‘favours’ and babysitting, you need to be strung about your limits.

It's not just the sister's daughter, it's the couple's daughter. Their joint child. They have been a couple for years so even though this trip is just after their wedding it's hardly a Honeymoon.

Rpop · 17/07/2026 13:06

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 13:03

I don’t think her parents (who have been a couple throughout her life) getting married is a huge life shift

But I don’t think leaving your 8 year old fir two weeks and only telling her about it two weeks before it happened isn’t the best parenting move!

That’s true. There is no way I would go on a two week holiday and leave my 8 year old with other family. She would be really sad. I couldn’t give a moneys if it’s a honeymoon or not.

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 13:05

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 13:03

I don’t think her parents (who have been a couple throughout her life) getting married is a huge life shift

But I don’t think leaving your 8 year old fir two weeks and only telling her about it two weeks before it happened isn’t the best parenting move!

She is likely to feel excluded - wondering what is going to happen next. A new baby etc. I’d be prioritising my child in this scenario. A positive, happy start will set the tone and offer reassurance to the child.

Saltysweetspicy · 17/07/2026 13:05

Diamond7272 · 17/07/2026 01:03

Quality time really means "happy time" (horny time)

2 weeks of it!!!!

Poor child. Parents are like dogs on heat. Dirty boi!!!!

WTF

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 13:05

@Sprinklesandsprinkles if anyone is compromising along those lines, bride or groom can do the long day of flying back to collect their DD after a few days in which the groom’s parents have had her to stay.

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 13:03

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 13:01

And maybe not for two full weeks - given the child is already experiencing a huge life shift

I don’t think her parents (who have been a couple throughout her life) getting married is a huge life shift

But I don’t think leaving your 8 year old fir two weeks and only telling her about it two weeks before it happened isn’t the best parenting move!

Saltysweetspicy · 17/07/2026 13:02

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:15

😮 Noooooo!

Is this a serious suggestion?

@Sprinklesandsprinkles why does OP need to compromise at all?

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 13:01

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 12:45

If yu don’t want to take your child on your honeymoon , then you need to arrange childcare first for whatever is not too big an ask eg a long weekend at a fancy hotel.

And maybe not for two full weeks - given the child is already experiencing a huge life shift

U53rName · 17/07/2026 12:58

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:15

😮 Noooooo!

Is this a serious suggestion?

PP has obviously never heard of Unaccompanied Minors.

Anyway…not your problem to solve; you’re merely the auntie, not the parent.

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 12:48

@NotHappyFamilies glad you’ve stood firm!

SheilaFentiman · 17/07/2026 12:45

Mollymoo67 · 17/07/2026 11:04

Wedding yes, honeymoon no, imo (with the proviso that proper childcare arrangements are made, not like this scenario!) Couples are entitled to some adult time to themselves regardless whether they have kids. I find the thought of someone taking their child on honeymoon quite surreal tbh.

If yu don’t want to take your child on your honeymoon , then you need to arrange childcare first for whatever is not too big an ask eg a long weekend at a fancy hotel.

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:22

I know you love your sister but she sounds very entitled. If they are sidelining her dd already as a couple, this isn’t a very good sign op. This is likely to be the start of a long period of ‘favours’ and babysitting, you need to be strung about your limits.

MrPickles73 · 17/07/2026 12:17

Tbh my sister has never looked after my kids for 2 minutes nevermind a week. I babysat for her and helped my parents look after them when her kids were small..

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:17

The only serious suggestion is the word no, to all of it. She doesn’t have to go for two weeks. One is more than enough.

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:15

Sprinklesandsprinkles · 16/07/2026 19:40

As a compromise of sorts once she's had a week with her grandparents you fly her out to join them for the second week? It will be one long day for you but if she pays for the flights (of course) they get 1 week off then ha either own kid to look after

😮 Noooooo!

Is this a serious suggestion?

OP posts:
NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:11

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 17/07/2026 00:01

I think she means that the niece was a baby and then a toddler and Dsis was coping with the stages consecutively, not that there are two children. But I was confused at first too.

Yes this. Sorry, I read it back and I can see that I wasn’t clear even when I tried to explain it in another posts. I worded it very badly.

OP posts:
Jc2001 · 17/07/2026 12:08

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 21:37

My sister is getting married in just over 2 weeks. I have helped her to organise her wedding and looked after her child when she has been to appointments and had wedding things to sort out. It’s a big wedding, she’s found it all quite stressful so I have done what I can to help.

I have booked 2 weeks off after her wedding because I feel like I need the rest after all the stress and I have leave to use. My husband and I are going away for 2 nights but we plan to chill out at home, get some things done around the house, go out for meals, have an evening at the theatre and just spend some time together.

My sister wasn’t planning on a honeymoon but her in-laws have just gifted them 2 weeks at their holiday home. Her partner was aware but it was a surprise to my sister until over the weekend when they told her.

We presumed they would take their child with them but yesterday they asked if we would have her when they’re away so they get a proper honeymoon. I must have looked horrified as my sister said maybe in-laws could have her for one week so could we just have her for one week.

I have said no as my husband and I also want to spend time together. My sisters child is 8 and although she is lovely, we’ll have to entertain her. Our children are older so don’t require looking after and we have had a stressful few months with GCSEs and the wedding prep. We just want to relax. My husband has also said absolutely no way.

My sisters in laws have contacted me to say that we can sort this between us and let my sister and new husband have a lovely honeymoon.

Are we being unreasonable?

People need to accept there's things you can't do (or expect other people to do) if you have children. Going on a honeymoon is one of them (unless you take the kids with you)

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 12:08

aqualibre55 · 17/07/2026 06:33

Can’t you do a few days? Jeez

Cant you read my posts? Jeez

If you did, you would see that we were willing to do a few days.

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 17/07/2026 12:07

NotHappyFamilies · 17/07/2026 11:57

I ignored the text from my sisters parents in-law as we found it rude and demanding. I saw my sister yesterday and she was trying to persuade us to have our niece for just over a week as her parents in law can only do 5 days of the 2 weeks. I said no. She was asking my kids to chip in and help us. They said they had things planned, so it was left as my sister and partner will have to take my niece with them. My sister was not happy but we are having my niece for the day tomorrow so I don’t think she was willing to have an argument which suited me.

We have now booked some things in on the days we originally offered so we are no longer available.

The cheek of them to book a holiday and assume someone like you would have the kids.

Aiming4Optimistic · 17/07/2026 12:06

Your sister is a cheeky mare - you might need to remind her that you already do a lot to help her - she's started to take all your childcare and general life assistance for granted and is now getting pissed off about having to look after her own child. She's now so accustomed to you doing it, that she's forgotten niece isn't your child and you have no obligation to do as much as you do. This attitude appears to have spread to her in-laws, who haven't even bothered to ask before blithely trying to appropriate your time!

I'd be inclined to step back a bit on the routine childcare so she stops taking you for granted.

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