AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

I would probably say I'd made plans, but equally, how can someone else's wedding be so stressful?!

Who ever booked the 'surprise' is responsible for the child care!

Yanbu - you have plans! Since you already do a lot of childcare it's not unreasonable to want your own two weeks of holiday to yourselves and not be minding another child. Dad should have sorted childcare, since he knew it was going to be needed and not just relied on the women in the family to rearrange their own lives to accommodate his!

Mean and selfish aunt imo.

What were they thinking? I completely see where you are coming from. The groom and his parents have decided that the bride and groom’s right to a holiday trumps yours. Which may have been fine if you had known in advance and not booked your annual leave and made your own plans.

If this is the groom’s parents holiday house could they change the booking to term time to make it easier?
it is not about not providing childcare it’s the timing and the assumption that you will be available. It is pretty crappy that the groom knew but waited to ask.

HOWEVER…
it is their wedding. These people have clearly been talking about you and you are now in a spot. By saying no this might be held against you by the B&G that their honeymoon was spoiled. This is completely unfair and the groom and his parents are a bunch of CF.

The groom to be has known about this for some time and it hasn’t occurred to him, or any of them, to plan childcare for the poor abandoned child?!

Did your sister assume you’d be jumping for joy at childminding for a fortnight for your summer holiday at the last minute, just so she could spend her own fortnight childfree and shagging?

I really feel the in laws should have considered childcare before offering this gift.

Disagree with the majority. If not your sister then who!?

This 😂

Or the in-laws who don’t have young children of their own to consider and are presumably retired could drive her? Why should the OP who has children of her own, a full time job and a busy life to consider offer this when it was the in laws who have gifted the holiday in the first place.

You’ve made plans for your two weeks leave from work so simply aren’t available to care for your niece. I wouldn’t feel any guilt whatsoever.

I'd let the in-laws know that they are very kind to gift a holiday and childcare for a week and maybe your sister needs to shorten her plans to enjoy the holiday for the period of time the in-laws can babysit as you have your own plans and unable to help with your niece.

Can’t in laws have her for a week then you could offer to drive her to holiday home for the last week? Two weeks seems a long time to be leaving their child for.

I would do this. Even a week is a big ask but I’d be happy to he’ll for a few days in the OPs situation.

I'd do this for my siblings

The in-laws that gifted the holiday can do the babysitting.

I feel for the 8 year old
they can go for 1 week with PIL looking after grandchild and then 8 year old gets to go for the second week to spend with her parents

Fuck THAT!

No! You have plans - that’s all you need to say. The in-laws can’t give a gift that requires other people to do all the work. They should really have thought of that before offering.

It’s really cheeky , your kids are older and don’t need the attention an 8 year old does I can see why you aren’t keen it would totally change your much needed 2 weeks off .

I think you’re being a bit mean, but I also think your sister is being unreasonable too - two weeks is a huge ask. Can you compromise and offer to have her for half a week, in laws have her for half a week, and your sister only goes away for one week?

Hell no, what if you and DH had booked 2 weeks away for yourselves? Whoever would have had your niece in those circumstances can have her in these.

Been in a similar position myself and stuck to my guns. Had to ignore rumours of sulkiness but tough.

Enjoy your time with DH.

We’re early into planning our wedding, we have a 3 year old DC and are already planning on a maximum 4 night honeymoon break as we know we shouldn’t (and don’t want to) impose upon anybody for childcare more than that. And even then those nights will be shared between a couple of people. Highly unrealistic to expect you can have a two week honeymoon when you have children! They should have a week alone maybe, then have in-laws bring their DC for the second week perhaps!

Could you not share a week’s care with their in laws and then she joins them for the second week. That seems a good compromise.

I've often thought that a ten day holiday has about the same effect as a 2 week one. In your shoes I'd offer to do half a week and spend some time as a family with your niece during that time. That would help them out with a chunk but not be that disruptive to your plans.