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AIBU?

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AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

766 replies

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 21:37

My sister is getting married in just over 2 weeks. I have helped her to organise her wedding and looked after her child when she has been to appointments and had wedding things to sort out. It’s a big wedding, she’s found it all quite stressful so I have done what I can to help.

I have booked 2 weeks off after her wedding because I feel like I need the rest after all the stress and I have leave to use. My husband and I are going away for 2 nights but we plan to chill out at home, get some things done around the house, go out for meals, have an evening at the theatre and just spend some time together.

My sister wasn’t planning on a honeymoon but her in-laws have just gifted them 2 weeks at their holiday home. Her partner was aware but it was a surprise to my sister until over the weekend when they told her.

We presumed they would take their child with them but yesterday they asked if we would have her when they’re away so they get a proper honeymoon. I must have looked horrified as my sister said maybe in-laws could have her for one week so could we just have her for one week.

I have said no as my husband and I also want to spend time together. My sisters child is 8 and although she is lovely, we’ll have to entertain her. Our children are older so don’t require looking after and we have had a stressful few months with GCSEs and the wedding prep. We just want to relax. My husband has also said absolutely no way.

My sisters in laws have contacted me to say that we can sort this between us and let my sister and new husband have a lovely honeymoon.

Are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Gemilo · 14/07/2026 22:31

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:29

The drama has been off the scale. Being fair, the wedding is massive and is costing a fortune, but my sister has become a bit of a bridezilla. Her in laws are very particular. They want the wedding to impress and my sister is feeling the pressure. It’s honestly my worst nightmare but I’ve gone along with it as I do want my sister to be happy. I will be very glad when it is over.

Don’t be emotionally blackmailed into saying yes to childcare.

Shitshowpolitics · 14/07/2026 22:30

Corianda · 14/07/2026 22:26

Posters are suggesting OP do a weekend or a few days

If you give an inch, some people will take a mile. If the OP gives in now, there's every chance she'll end up having her there for most, if not all, of the holiday.

blippisglasses · 14/07/2026 22:29

Haven’t RTFT but I wonder what your niece wants to do. At age 8 I wouldn’t have wanted 2 weeks away from my mum and dad

JLou08 · 14/07/2026 22:29

I think you are a bit unreasonable. They only get one honeymoon, you could still take a few days with your DH whilst his GPs have her and have the other week. I'd feel that my sisters honeymoon was more important than me having a full 2 weeks with DH.

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:29

RVectensian · 14/07/2026 22:11

I would probably say I'd made plans, but equally, how can someone else's wedding be so stressful?!

The drama has been off the scale. Being fair, the wedding is massive and is costing a fortune, but my sister has become a bit of a bridezilla. Her in laws are very particular. They want the wedding to impress and my sister is feeling the pressure. It’s honestly my worst nightmare but I’ve gone along with it as I do want my sister to be happy. I will be very glad when it is over.

OP posts:
BotterMon · 14/07/2026 22:29

Your sister is being ridiculous and selfish. She's obviously been with her partner for years if they have an 8 year old together so no need for a honeymoon.

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 22:26

RedRock41 · 14/07/2026 22:20

Calm down. Old school here that siblings where possible help each other 🙄

Even older school here where you don’t dump your young child on family members at the last minute when they have a much-needed holiday.

Shitshowpolitics · 14/07/2026 22:26

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:20

My sisters partner was fully expecting that their child went with them. It’s my sister that wants to go without her.

You could say "No, we're going away as a family. We booked this holiday at the last minute because we all needed a break and some time together. We hope you understand." What can she say to that.

Eddielizzard · 14/07/2026 22:26

I think the grandparents could have her for the first week, and then she joins her parents on holiday for the second. Don't see why you should lose your holiday. The problem to my mind, is that you don't have specific plans, so they think you're free effectively

ReadingInBed88 · 14/07/2026 22:26

Could they go for a week as couple only and then a week with the child? Sorry, I missed where the hol home is and maybe that isn't a viable option. Otherwise, I think offering a day per week to give in laws a break is enough. If you'd had notice you might have done more, but you've already made plans...

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/07/2026 22:26

Nope. You've said no and now the "sisters in laws have contacted me to say that we can sort this between us"? It's not their call. Your time, your decision.

"her in-laws have just gifted them 2 weeks at their holiday home" - their gift, they can 'complete' it with childcare.

Or, your sister can take her child on holiday with them, as her fiance expected.

It's a very big ask, two weeks childcare at short notice - does your sister have form for expecting everyone to dance attendance on her?

Corianda · 14/07/2026 22:26

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 22:24

Just needing ‘a bit of help’? Where have you got that from. They have said they need the OP to do at least a week herself!

Posters are suggesting OP do a weekend or a few days

BreadInCaptivity · 14/07/2026 22:25

I might sounds terribly old fashioned but if you want a honeymoon without children, then get married before you start a family….

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 22:24

Corianda · 14/07/2026 22:22

I would be cautious about offering to help a few days, I can see ILs just needing a bit of help, could she come for an afternoon, can 8year old go out with your DD etcetc

Just needing ‘a bit of help’? Where have you got that from. They have said they need the OP to do at least a week herself!

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 14/07/2026 22:24

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:20

My sisters partner was fully expecting that their child went with them. It’s my sister that wants to go without her.

Ohhhh so your sister is the one taking the piss.

Have a lovely two weeks relaxing with your husband. Your niece will love her fortnights holiday with her mum and dad. Even if it’s only her dad who wants her there 🤷‍♀️.

RedRock41 · 14/07/2026 22:23

FrenchBunionSoup · 14/07/2026 22:12

They should take their child with them.

The couple been together for years and have a child, it's not like they'll want their honeymoon to be intimate together for the first time.

They weren't even going to bother with a honeymoon until offered one 🤷🏻‍♀️

🙄🙄🙄

Having been parents for a while or not all know it be a totally different vibe being on duty with child in tow. Not unheard of that siblings step in to let happy couple enjoy their honeymoon. Society imho (just my view so no pile on needed) becoming really selfish.

BeKhakiReader · 14/07/2026 22:23

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:20

My sisters partner was fully expecting that their child went with them. It’s my sister that wants to go without her.

Ah. Oh well, that’s his problem then to sort. Maybe your sister just can’t have what she wants.

Corianda · 14/07/2026 22:22

I would be cautious about offering to help a few days, I can see ILs just needing a bit of help, could she come for an afternoon, can 8year old go out with your DD etcetc

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 22:21

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:18

We would do a couple of days but no more. My sisters in-laws run their own business and that isn’t enough. They want us to do at least a week which we’re not going to.

So despite there being two parents in law and at least two sisters in law, they still want to divide up the last minute honeymoon childcare so YOU are doing over half of it, despite already saying no?

They are all complete piss takers! What have you replied?

MyKindHiker · 14/07/2026 22:21

mrlistersgelfbride · 14/07/2026 22:18

I’ve got an 8 year old girl, no way could i leave her for 2 weeks even with family. Who wants a holiday that long without their child?
I think it’s a huge ask of you and very cheeky.

My thoughts also. I do travel with work and stuff but even if I'm on the other side of the world I'll fly back for weekends because I'd miss them too much. Deffo up for a cheeky kids free weekend but anything longer than 4 nights I'd just miss them?

ThisMauveTurtle · 14/07/2026 22:21

How would you feel if your dh decided to mind a niece or nephew during your annual leave.
It doesn't matter who's doing the actual minding , it affects the whole house.
Your teenager too

Advocodo · 14/07/2026 22:21

I feel for the 8 year old! 2 weeks is a long long time to be away from your child.

NotHappyFamilies · 14/07/2026 22:20

My sisters partner was fully expecting that their child went with them. It’s my sister that wants to go without her.

OP posts:
LoftyPlumLion · 14/07/2026 22:20

Your use of language is weird. Constantly referring to "their child" - isn't that your neice?

Aren't the in laws, your niece's grandparents? I think it would be ok for them to have them, or their child could go with them.

Don't the in laws let them use the holiday home otherwise? Don't the in laws want to spend time with their granddaughter? Don't you want a relationship with your neice?

RedRock41 · 14/07/2026 22:20

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 22:12

The child’s own parents!

Or the in laws who have organised the whole holiday.

It’s absolutely fine if people want to offer childcare so a couple can honeymoon alone. But the OP hasn’t offered.

Calm down. Old school here that siblings where possible help each other 🙄

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