AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

Her in laws should have included childminding as part of the gift. Did her now husband not raise it with his family. They seem.very entitled.

Tell them you and your husband are planning a 2nd honeymoon for yourselves during your time off - home and away.

Your sister is a CF. From your updates, you have been there for her and your niece with regular childcare to save them money, babysitting and stepping up for the wedding. You do not need to do this, you sound like great sister.

As your sister wasn't expecting a honeymoon - this goes back to the in-laws. They look after their granddaughter. If two weeks is too much for them, then your sister can go for a week come back for her child and let the second week go.

Out of interest, why did the MIL call you? And what did you say when she said 'You can sort this out between you and let them have a lovely honeymoon?'. Such a bloody cheek.

It’s not a honeymoon- it’s a post wedding holiday, they’ve been together 9 years and likely more.

Lol, having children does not make you stop being a person who wants time on their own or with a partner.

You do not speak for everyone.

If they gifted the honeymoon, it's the in-laws responsibility for child care. Or you niece goes with her parents. Nothing to do with you, don't feel bad.

Your sisters child is your dear niece. It wouldn't hurt you to put yourself out for 1 week of your 2 week holiday.

What about OP's husband and children? It's their holiday too. Do they have a say?

For my sisters honeymoon I’d babysit my niece.

How far is this holiday home? Would you offer to ferry niece from first week of honeymoon to SIL as your contribution?

Oh I'm sorry I'd misunderstood. It sounds like your sister is being bridezilla about the honeymoon then too - surely once you've got children (or are just, you know, not a teenager anymore) you accept that weddings and honeymoons aren't an idyllic Instagram version. I could understand if she'd asked for a couple of nights, but honestly it sounds really sad for your niece that your sister wants two weeks away from her. That is a long time at that age; young enough to still idolise parents and old enough to understand they've been left.

Groom thought the child was going with them.

So presumably, did the grooms parents.

But sister wants the two weeks and has dropped this on you. That would be a no from me.

But why say the grooms parents want this to happen? From your update, its all about your sister.

YANBU. Who wants to spend two weeks away from their 8 year old anyway? That's not why you have children IMO.

DH and I didn't have even one night away together alone until our DC were late teens. We didn't want to.

I'm glad your DH is on the same page, it's as much his holiday with your DC as yours; something some posters have conveniently forgotten.
Stick to your guns, it just ain't happening!
Ignore the in-laws.

I’m shattered with having a full time job and having just survived GCSE period. Would be a hell no from me without having helped your sister organised a stressful wedding on top of it!! Two weeks notice as well is madness.

It’s a nope to the in laws - too short notice and you have plans. They can either have a delayed honeymoon during term time where it is ‘just’ after school and a weekend each as well as sufficient notice, or take the DD, or cut it short to a week that in laws are able to cover.

It can’t be simultaneously unreasonable for OP’s sister to look after her OWN child on holiday and unreasonable for OP to say that it’s too big an ask for her holiday to be taken up with looking after said child.

The “honeymoon” train kind of left the station long ago… she has a child. She presumably already lives with her husband. He sounds like he wants the girl to go with them.

Kind of your sister to offer, but would you have asked for a weeks babysitting?

My sister offered to look after my 9 year old DS so I could go in honeymoon. I'd have done the same for her. Your sisters child is your dear niece. It wouldn't hurt you to put yourself out for 1 week of your 2 week holiday.

Oh come off it with the faux “how odd”. It’s not odd at all. Everyone on these boards does that all the time. We’re all strangers.

I think it’s cheeky too OP. I’d go with the suggestion to take your niece for a couple of nights but say you have plans for the rest of the time.

This is the way it works when you choose to have babies first and the marriage/honeymoon second. You didn’t make that choice for her.

Super close to my sister and we helped each other a lot when the children were younger. Absolutely no way would i have my neice or nephew (who i love like my own) for 2 weeks unless someone was in hospital.

A weekend is a big favour, a week or 2 is taking the piss. As if you and dh want to use 2 weeks annual leave to be childcare.

Yanbu.

If you want a 'proper honeymoon' you get married before you have children. Let the in-laws have their granddaughter for 2 weeks or the parents should take her with them. Two weeks is a long time to leave an 8 year old singleton anyway.

Just say 'sorry but we've already made loads of plans for my annual leave.'

What a bizarre situation. So the groom (who is your niece’s DF?) assumed the child would be there. Fair enough. And her mum is more focused on a ‘proper’ 2 week honeymoon without her DD?presumably the DD has been a part of the wedding celebrations and will want to feel a part of it.

As others have asked.. where is this holiday home? (Sorry if I have missed where) .. UK or overseas?

Surely the most obvious solution (if it’s uk or close enough in Europe) Is they have a week to themselves. If you are willing to then you have her for 3 nights, which still leaves you 11 days for your own break and the in-laws who have been so generous with their gifting also look after their grandchild for 4 nights and see that she gets to their holiday home to join her parents for the 2nd week.

I understand her wanting a bit of child free time but expecting 2 weeks when you have DC is really pushing it. I’d feel pretty guilty doing that but would want a few days if possible.

I had initially assumed it was the groom’s parents that were BU but if they thought that the DD was going so didn’t consider childcare then that’s not unreasonable. It’s your sister that is BU and a CF imo

Well given he knew about this ‘gift’, and it was on the basis that daughter goes with them then that’s what should happen.

worse that your sis happy to ditch her during school holidays whilst they swan off somewhere.

theres no such thing as a ‘proper’ honeymoon when you are parents.

does she often ditch her daughter in favour of herself?

Surely the gift giver should have had childcare sorted before announcing the holiday gift? Seeing as, you know, the couple has A CHILD.

Why are the in laws contacting you and trying to strong arm you? Tell them to get lost.

I had this with my sister when her kids were young, some 10-15 years ago, but on an ongoing basis. I was working my backside off in Central London, trying to move forward at work, trying to run my flat on my own, and was usually out of the house (working) and trying to meet a man to settle with, too. She kept asking to drop them off with me so she could "just have a rest / have a wine in peace / feel normal again" etc. I did help out but nowhere as much as she would have liked.

Other people's kids are really, really hard work, especially when you have raised your own (as I had, as a young single mother).

It's a bit odd that the parents want a break from an 8 year old child and by the sound of it they only have one child.
It isn't entirely up to Op.
My Mil in law used to mind her nieces for 2 weeks during the summer and it pissed the whole house off.
My fil then started going to the pub straight after work and coming home at bedtime.
He said he wasn't coming home from work to listen to somebody else's kids.
Eventually Mil understood how he felt.
She used to expect him to take annual leave same time as her.