AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

YANBU. Two weeks of childcare is a LOT to ask for even if you hadn't been breaking your back over her wedding planning. And obviously she can take the DC with her.

Is there another DC too (you mention she had a baby and toddler but not clear if you just meant a baby who grew into a toddler)?

It’s cheeky but if you are close you can be a bit cheeky , I probably would agree to a week

Things get a bit complicated when one goes about them back to front. If you have a family and then get married you can't very easily turn around and say you want a fortnight away without your family. A couple of nights might work but a fortnight is different and the youngster might be as hacked off as you are OP.

The be kind posters have arrived to volunteer someone else’s services again. How nice of them. 🤣

OP, you are just as entitled to time with your husband as she is. It sounds as though she has leaned on you quite enough for this wedding anyway without expecting another week or two of childcare. She needs to look after her own child. If she wanted a honeymoon without kids, she should have had kids after she got married. I feel sorry for the little girl though.

In-laws have DN for a week then take her over to join them in France for the second week.

I still don't understand the post where @NotHappyFamilies said the sister was coping with a baby and a toddler when her children were younger. As in the sister would have been coping with a baby and toddler (as in OP's children)?

with my family’s dynamic, I would 100% do this for my sister, and she’d do it for me.

we do seem to be quite different with how we approach the ‘it takes a village’ sentiment though.
We’re very much all in.

She's not wrong though. If you have kids when you get married already, things are going to be different. I'd also assume they'd had the honeymoon, or something like it, prior anyway.

I also find it a bit mad to want to be away from your child for two weeks unless living in some Enid Blyton or C. S. Lewis novel. One week maybe for an 8 year old. Do in-laws have a mysterious wardrobe in their house?

YANBU - I wouldn’t do it, two weeks is an awful long time. The in laws have gifted this so they can provide the childcare.

Poor child that the parents want to go on a fortnight’s holiday without her at very little notice. Were they planning a family holiday this summer, or would it mean a holiday for them and no holiday for their child? Enjoy your break with your DH and your own children.

This ⬆️

In your shoes for this one off event of the marriage, I would do your holiday as planned, then have your sister's DD for 3 or 4 nights at the end of the 2 weeks. That way you get most of what you wanted, show willing to your sis, and avoid a massive fall-out. The in-laws can cover the rest between them, especially the girl's grandparents.

Don't lie. Why do people always suggest lying?
Tell the truth, you're having a break and don't want to take her.

They shouldn't have given such a gift without being prepared to take the child on. They can't just assume that someone else would be available to do it. That seems like poor thinking on their part.

Yes, mother Theresa...

Be careful not to get your catholic cross lodged anywhere delicate :)

Can you agree to just 2 or 3 nights as your husband had a surprise break booked for you.
He wasnt going to tell you, but now they have asked to you have DN, he has had too!
I wonder where he could take you 😁

YANBU, some pp seem to be ignoring all the things you have done to help and are focusing on the one thing you are saying no to.

I think it's a long time and don't understand why she can't go with them. It's nearly summer holidays.

that was my first thought. I mean if the honeymoon was a surprise gift, I am assuming the child didn't know either and she is now going to be parked on a family member or passed around like an inconvenient puppy. I am a bit shocked at the groom not at least insisting that the bride should be told so that at very least, she could prepare her daughter for the surprise ("surprise! we are going on holiday and leaving you here!!") Not a great start to family building.

Groom should have sorted out childcare

2w without their child is a long time. A weeks honeymoon is plenty when have kids and commitments

I think you are thinking what I am thinking: "why do they need a proper honeymoon?"

Wasn't it traditionally for the bride and groom to work out how it's all done away from family and servants? Someone with an 8 year surely grasps it all!

I think once you have children, you need to cut some of the bells and whistles from the whole wedding tradition and just get on with parenting again tbh.

I’m old school too. You get to have a proper honeymoon if you marry before any children arrive.

As pp have said, it's not really a honeymoon. They can take the child..

You mentioned in one of your posts about your sister coping with her own baby and toddler. Where is the other child?