AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

Absolute no way.
They chose to do things this way round. They should take the child with them. Poor thing. Clearly an inconvenience to them

To be fair, groom was planning to take the child. It's the bride who doesn't want to.

Some people just don't love or want their children. That's what boarding schools were invented for...

"see you are half term dahling, ta ta, Toodle pip!"

Clearly this couple want a few dirty nights free of the child... Well, 13 or 14 nights, breakfasts, lunches, dinners...

The kid is just getting in the way, clearly... It's not like the future husband doesn't know she exists...but he's got other priorities :)

i really hate this "couple of days each" thing....playing pass the puppy with a child.

‘Happy to have her round on X night for tea and drop her back at yours before bedtime. It won’t be a late one though, got a lot planned with my time off work - feel like my feet haven’t touched the ground with the wedding prep and GCSE revision!’

such a charming mother.....poor child.

OP, you seem to be saying that your sis has 2 kids? what will happen to the other one?

Well I had a cousin who adopted a baby from Russia. When the baby was 6 months old they got married and had a 'proper' honeymoon of traveling around South Africa for 3 months and left the baby with his parents while they had the honeymoon of their dreams. So the bar can get lower.
But surely the first week doing the proper honeymoon and child care with in-laws as per their offer and then your niece joining for the second week for a family holiday is the solution here. The niece then feels included and you have the post wedding break you want.
A week is long enough for 'proper' honeymoon activities when you have an 8 year old.

Haven't read the whole thread (just half of it) and think that two weeks alone, just the bride and groom, is a bit of a weird/ unreasonable ask once you have kids. Maybe a week by themselves and a week with their child would be a reasonable compromise, and everyone else could help out with their daughter for a few days?

However, I can't imagine going away without my kids, and have never holidayed without them!

That makes two of us then, I'm not sure what your point is either. Of course a family holiday is different to a honeymoon, but this is only a honeymoon in the technical sense that it's a holiday timed to be after the wedding. If the couple live together and have a child, we can probably expect they already worked out the birds and the bees some time ago, as well as having plenty of time to get to know each other as a couple living together rather than just dating.

Asking someone to give up a whole week of annual leave to care for their child is a huuuuuge ask. I wouldn't feel you have to say yes. I think volunteering for a couple of days would be kind, but I wouldn't be doing a week.

Sounds like this is one for the groom to sort our either with his family or with you sister- not you.

You’ve booked two weeks off to relax and spend time with your husband, not to provide childcare. Don’t upend your own plans.

I’m surprised the in laws giving this gift didn’t consider the glaringly obvious issue here - did they think you could just be imposed upon in this way?

Let them do it.

YANBU, and your sister is being a cheeky fucker. I really dislike people who think your down time is theirs for the using.

Is the baby and toddler the same child? I.e. the now 8 year old?

Oh come on. She's on her high horse of religious fervour. Which is sad really given the sexual abuse and cover ups in the Catholic Church.

People get married later today. The world has changed. Thank god. Amen. Judgemental people need to remember that some of the most relious people on the planet are the most evil... Just ask that post office murderer and ordained priest Paula vennells.

Personally think it's very strange that your sister wants 2 weeks away from her child. One week I can understand, but would have thought the 2nd week she would want her child with her, and for them all to celebrate the wedding as a family. It's not like she is trekking through Nepal or something and the child can't be there, if it's France there is no reason - sounds like she doesn't specially like her own child!

2 weeks is a long time for a child of 8. It sounds weird to me. A weekend maybe but 2 weeks? How would the child feel? I don’t know anyone who would go away for 2 weeks and leave their child behind. Mine could cope with a weekend but not longer - at a push 3 or 4 days though I’d miss them even so.

I think you're right @BeKhakiReader @AlwaysExtraHot.

The DH and DW need to sort this out, he accepted his parents' kind offer on the assumption that their DD was coming with them. They should stick with the original plan IMO.

I was talking purely about the dynamic of the honeymoon, not the whole relationship so not sure what your point is there.

A two week honeymoon when you have a child is crazy! They are so cheeky, poor kid.

They should take their child with them! Make it a family holiday.

A “proper honeymoon” is for if you get married before having kids - unless you’ve got someone who actually wants to have your child for two weeks, I guess.

The groom was right - they should be taking their child with them.

OP, I would tell my sister straight - “I’ve booked these two weeks off because I need a complete rest together with my own family. I haven’t booked them off to give you a complete rest!”

You don't need to justify yourself. You have plans and can't do it. End of.

They're probably the same people who would be upset if relatives don't take their own children. I think OP is perfectly reasonable to want time with her DH and a break after a busy time. You get married with children, you don't have the same carefree time as newlyweds without children.

The purpose of a honeymoon was for people to get to know each other better in every way before having to face the routine and pressures of life. A couple who have lived together and have an 8 year old are well past that. Maybe honeymoons are dated as a concept.