AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

I think that's lovely. It seems nice to me to have the wedding then celebrate together, as a family, with the children too.

I was at my parents wedding but no-one who hadn't been told was aware my fetal self was present.

Two weeks away from your own 8 yo so you can go on honeymoon?! Selfish! A long weekend, maybe, a week at a push. Two weeks?! You're having a laugh!!
Our honeymoon was a long weekend in Birmingham with our 18 month old! 😄
We just had our (very belated) one abroad and our now 6 yo stayed with her grandparents. 4.5 years married, 4 nights away. It was lovely, but we missed her loads.

Wow, @NotHappyFamilies some people have high expectations of their families on this thread.

I cannot imagine any scenario where I would expect a family member to look after my DCs for more than a single night, possibly a weekend at a stretch. The idea that you would be expected to look after their DD for a week, let alone a fortnight is ridiculous.

Do not agree to this, and do not agree to the suggestion from the in-laws that this is something the family can work out without involving the child's parents. First, that kind of comment is always code for we intend to dump this on you, and eight year olds are not easy to look after. Second, what child's parents don't want to be involved in deciding who would be looking after their DD?

Maybe I'm just deeply unromantic, but a wedding is just a day and a honeymoon is just a holiday. People invest and expect too much. Let them have a fantastic day and wish them a lovely holiday with their DD or else let someone with nothing else to do look after her.

I'm surprised at the number of people saying you should agree to taking your niece for a week!
I think people are missing the fact that you've booked this time off as annual leave.

If you didn't have the time booked off, and the question was should you have to use a week of your precious annual leave to care for your niece so your sister could have a 2 week honeymoon, I think less people would say you should have to do this!

Your sister will be fine with a 1 week honeymoon. As someone else said, it really is just a post-wedding holiday!

Or a "pollyanna" one
"That would be a gift to me!" 🤮

Absolutely not OP.
You have enough going on.
This is not on you.
This is for her in laws to sort out.
I think they are complete CF's and i wouldn't entertain it.
It will not be one or two days.
You will get caught.
Say absolutely not and stick to it.

Hate to break it to you but MN is real life! The posters aren't all AI robots.
Just because someone has a different opinion to you doesnt make them wrong.
I love my niece but I wouldnt want to babysit her for a week, its a big ask, particularly when you didnt volunteer to do it.

This post should win some kind of smug superiority award.

When you have kids, they are yours to manage regardless of what you have going on. I’ve got teens and have never asked anyone else to look after them and no one has. They are my responsibility. If I wanted a nice holiday, just me and their dad, too bad, they are coming with us. Your sister chose this. Not your responsibility. It sounds like you have been very accommodating over the years. You deserve your own time to do with as you choose. They can cut their honeymoon down to a week (who leaves their kids for two weeks anyway?) and the in-laws can babysit. Simples.

@thereisnomeaning @Hotandpointy I was at my mum and dad's wedding lol, i was 7 I think, and they'd been together over ten years. They had two people from the hotel we were staying at as witnesses, then we went camping for a week after for the honeymoon.

We have a massive close family aswell, so I could have stayed with loads of family members, but they wanted the three of us to enjoy it together I think. They're still together now. It's not always a bad idea to get married after you've had a kid

It's actually your sister who is being unreasonable here, although her in-laws are colluding now she's said she wants a child free holiday. I don't see why her desire for a 'proper honeymoon' should trump your desire for a proper holiday with your DH. She wants a break after her wedding, you want a break after her wedding (and your teenagers' exams, and caring for your MiL).

Depends what kind of family you are. I think it would be lovely for them to have at least a week away if you can bear to have your niece to stay. Having said that we already had a young child when we got married so did not plan a honeymoon. We did get a lovely gift of 3 days mini break surprised to us though and family had our child. It was very special and nice. 3 days was enough though.

Of all the main religious in the world, all teach that you should have your children after whatever version of a union between man and women is part of their belief, mostly understood as marriage. So why exactly have you chosen the Catholic religion to mock? The idea that you should have children after you have cemented your union legally doesn't have to be based on a religious belief either. There are huge legal advantages to being married prior to having children that have nothing to do with any religious belief. Labeling someone who points this out as some kind of Catholic zealot is lazy and uncalled for.

No, but it is funny when the Archbishop of Canterbury loses his job for covering up historical sexual abuse by male priests...

"it never happened..... Er, well, maybe it did..... I never knew about it... Err, we'll, just a bit, err, a lot.... Er, do I still keep my grace and favour residence? No? Er.... Dammit!

Rotten top down.

The catholics are worse. Ampleforth had another 'father' caught 2yrs ago...

Definitely not being unreasonable!

I'd reply along the lines of, "Hi, I wished you'd told us sooner because we're going away ourselves. Hope you can sort something out."

They're taking the piss by assuming you'll be free and willing to do it.

It was a post on here, I don’t think anyone is trying to use it as a ‘gotcha’

OMG who cares. Mumsnet sleuthing looking through an OPs past posts to try and catch them out is literally the worst hobby ever. Go take up breakdancing or shoplifting or something more interesting.

Op, you have your break. It really does sound like you have a lot on your plate and need a rest.
Your niece would be better off with her parents on holiday.

Oh give over. She's just being honest about what she'd do. We're all different. I also would for my sister.

Though that doesn't change a 2 week holiday as a gift without childcare having been considered is off and the sister (in this case) is cheeky to ask.

Poor child two weeks is a long tme for an 8 year old especially if she’s not going to be n the same place the whole time. Way to make her feel in the way.

None of that stops individuals having a genuine belief and practising their beliefs without being child abusers.

You can't use the wickedness of one individual as an excuse to mock the position of another.

And as far as her point actually went, she isn't wrong: if you don't have children before your wedding, you don't need childcare for your honeymoon. Nothing to dispute in that comment.

Babies become toddlers.

I totally agree.

@godmum56 I agree that it's not nice for the child to be passed around, but the two weeks away without her is too long in the first place.

My children used to cry when one of us went away for work/a long weekend, let alone both parents for this length of time. Until they were teenagers, of course, then they waved goodbye enthusiastically. 😂