AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

Sorry no we have made plans and can’t at short notice.

Same

we called it a honeyday or holimoon 😂

cringe yes I know

Quite! My younger brother married his partner of 9 years and they had two children (7 and 3) by then.

They just went on a family holiday afterwards as it was school holidays and they were a FAMILY.

I wouldn’t want to be away from my 8 year old for two weeks.

I doubt the niece knows anything about it, given her mum has only known about it for a week.

Presume your poor niece is feeling great about being the inconvenient problem that her mum has to sort to enable her to have two weeks holiday without her daughter.

Then dh needs to man up and say their child is coming

Sorry, i did read all of OPs posts but somehow missed the one where it states the partner/DH was willing for the child to go but not her sister.
Hence no plans were made for childcare. 🙄

In that case, ignore my previous posts. The partner/inlaws are not at fault, this is all OPs sister and she needs to accept that her child goes with them or they only have a week.

The one in the wrong here is the partner who told his parents that this would be ok and allowing it to be booked before making arrangements. This was all booked as a surprise for OPs sister, I dont think the partner & inlaws even booked for the child to join them as im sure the inlaws would be angry about potentially losing their deposit.

What deposit? In laws own the holiday home. It’s unclear if flights/eurostar/ferry are part of the gift or if they have been booked yet.

I think I confused you. It was me that suggested a camp and I was also replying to someone else.

The moral of the child not joining her parents is dependant on many other factors.

I meant that the in-laws should care for the child but should consider a holiday camp to make it a bit easier for themselves. Not for OP to look after her niece.

The one in the wrong here is the partner who told his parents that this would be ok and allowing it to be booked before making arrangements. This was all booked as a surprise for OPs sister, I dont think the partner & inlaws even booked for the child to join them as im sure the inlaws would be angry about potentially losing their deposit.

To be fair, their son is all for taking the child with them on honeymoon, so they probably thought that would be happening. It’s the mother who decided she didn’t’ want to take her/him.

No, I don’t think OP should be looking after an 8 year old girl. I think the girl should be going with her parents. Someone suggested putting her into a camp. I was just pointing out that there would still be a lot to do.
This is OPs holiday. The first one since Christmas. Her selfish sister wants her to give it up. OP has had a lot on her plate. The poor little girl should be having a holiday too. I don’t think most people would go on holiday for 2 weeks without taking their young child.
For what it is worth, I have grandchildren this age and they often spend 3/4/5 days with us during the school holidays but they are always really pleased to see their parents when they collect them. It is also quite full on even though my husband and I love having them and we are active for our age.

Regardless, the partner and in-laws are now facing the consequences of their poor planning and assumption that others will care for the child.

CANCEL THE CHEQUE!

The partner and in-laws made no such assumptions. They assumed that DNiece would go with her parents. It is DSis who has thrown a spanner in.

Yes, but that is an "easier" option than having her for the full day if they say they cant manage or have the time.

@Yetone you are right cost is a factor, considering they are honeymooning in the summer holidays, it is probably less expensive than sending her to join her parents.

Regardless, the partner and in-laws are now facing the consequences of their poor planning and assumption that others will care for the child. They don't have many options left that doesn't cost them money. And at the centre of this is an 8 year old child.

Your sister has two options as far as I can see it now she knows she can only get 1 week of childfree time from PIL and no one else will have dn- option 1) she has a one week honeymoon childfree or option 2) she has a 2 week family holiday after her wedding.

Shes an adult. Her and her DP are perfectly capable to sort this between them.

Personally I would do it for my sister because we're very close and we've helped each other out with DC. However, her partner would've shared with us way before and my sister wouldn't probably even ask or if she did would adamently say not expected. Xx

Ugh. Your sister sounds horribly entitled. You said no and she then asked your children? Who the hell does she think she is?

And it’s also weird for both parents to use up two weeks of annual leave each without their young DD when most parents prioritise school holidays.

This 100%

I am so glad you have stick to your guns. Your sister's persistence is unreasonable and grating. And the cheek of trying to snare your children into doing it.

From what you have said, they have been together for years and its his parents house. I am assuming they have been to the house 'off season' and probably will again.

Apologies. I misinterpreted her non availability to support her sister when her children were young, as her being on her own.

When was the sister a single parent?

Well done to you and your children for sticking to your boundaries @NotHappyFamilies . A great role model for your children

Where were the grandparents, the biological father and soon to be husband for the past 8 years? They seem very involved (dictating to you) yet your sister was a single parent.

Also, cost - they’ve already gifted a two week holiday (possibly foregoing Airbnb income for this) - and availability, they might be hard pressed to get more than the odd camp day two weeks out.

She would still need to be looked after in the evening and a packed lunch made etc.

Quite right in agreeing that the inlaws and DH to be had enough time to sort this out, AND in-laws should have been prepared to do all the childcare.

If it's such an issue for them, have they not considered putting your niece in a holiday club during the weekdays?