AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's child during her honeymoon?

I am once again begging people to read the OP's posts.

The groom was expecting to bring their DD with them. He is not an idiot man (though I don't deny those exist!)

Surely part of this offer should be childcare though?

I don’t see why you’d be obliged to cover for this holiday that the in laws have planned (and not consulted you on for childcare first!)

Tbh I would jump at the chance to have my nieces for a week or two, they are delights.

saying that, in the wider context, yanbu to say no.

@THisbackwithavengeance the “bride” gets to dump her daughter for a whole fortnight while the aunt (who works, cares within the family and has done a lot in the lead up to this event) is neither normal nor family oriented and will reap what she sows?? Sure that’s the right way round?

Your message should be directed at OP's sister and not at OP. OP's sister has never looked after or even babysat OP's kids but OP did a day's child care every week for her sister until her niece started school together with regular babysitting.

OP is also a carer for her MIL. She is very family orientated, unlike her sister. Her sister's fiance expected to take their daughter on their honeymoon. It's OP's sister that is insisted on leaving her at home.

OP's sister is reaping what she has sown.

This nails it: the op is trying to be on holiday too.

She has been working hard, the son has been working hard for gcses.

All the bride has done is have a big party because she now is married to ... someone she was basically married to.

Why does that holiday trump the others?

And it isn't just about "being nice" to the Dsis. It's about what's appropriate as a message to the child - who should be getting the message she is an integral part of the new family set-up being celebrated. It seems like even the father thought that too.

The only answer the OP needs to give is 'sorry, can't help, we're on holiday then too'

^ This. I think this is the perfect example of give someone an inch and they take a mile. So the OP has helped her sis loads over the years and especially with this wedding and the ungrateful response is 'just this one more little favour pleeease'.

I'd just shut it down as above and ignore any more approaches by the in laws (and I'd think a little less of your sister).

The only answer the OP needs to give is 'sorry, can't help, we're on holiday then too'

She should be so grateful she’s been gifted a honeymoon! Honestly, how entitled is your sister?! If the in laws can’t help she takes her daughter with her.

Yes shame for the child that her own mother doesn’t want her there. Horrible woman.

Say that you’ve actually cancelled your leave and don’t tell them you didn’t.

I just hope the child doesn't overhear any conversations about family not wanting her there. It must be hard enough that they are not taking her with them.

Poor child

Your sister needs to get over herself and take her kid on holiday.

Sounds like Bridezilla sis needs a bloody reality check.

You’ve more than enough on your plate OP - stick to your guns on this. With the amount of babysitting from yourself, your DC and god knows who else, sounds like your sister palms off her DD as often as she can.

I second that
Since when have people..who you aren't related to...been cavalier with your time..
Their surprise..their problem.

When my son was around that age I went to Florida with a bf and insisted I would only leave him (with his dad) for a week. Once there I found I wasn't able to enjoy myself ( not least because I caught a cold on the plane) but also I just missed my son too much.

True. OP: send sis and her in-laws the link to the PGL booking page.

”This doesn’t work for me, however, here are some options….”

See, I don’t agree. The parents in law gave them the holiday house as a gift, expecting them to take their child with them. They told the groom/their son and he fully expected to take the child with them. It’s only when the bride/sister finds out, that she rearranges her tiara and decides that it should be sans children.

The sisters in law then decide they can cover it between them, but with the OP doing most of it.

I don’t think any of this is the parents in law or the groom’s idea,

Two weeks is too long to be away from your child. A week is more than enough. My heart breaks for the little girl. Stick to your guns.

yup....just park the puppy and away you go. Actually I think the upper classes did used to do this......a quick google finds nothing but I do remember seeing a film on youtube.

Isn’t that what PGL holidays are?

This

This was something your aunt did presumably because she knew it would be great opportunity to you as a child though. That's not the case here - the OP doesn't have the time or energy to give her niece a good alternative to a family holiday, and I can't imagine that an 8 yr old would feel particularly great about their parents jetting off for two weeks especially in their summer holidays, while they're left behind.

2 weeks because the mum wants a child free holiday?! Bloody hell, I can't cope without my dogs for a few nights! Can't imagine leaving my child for that long.

I'd just keep repeating 'That doesn't work for me', classic mumsnet but very useful phrase.