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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to regret reporting my daughter's ex-boyfriend to the police?

39 replies

Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 21:35

So on Friday I had someone throw something at my house following a week of my daughter being name called by her ex boyfriend at school (she is 15) I reported it to the police they have just spoken to us and now my daughter is in bits because they have said they may go and speak too him (a week after it’s calmed down and against her wishes) and that they will be doing a child protection referral now I feel bad for making a police referral in the first place and she can’t focus on anything else

OP posts:
Ophy83 · 15/07/2026 06:42

You did nothing wrong by reporting his behaviour- he is to blame by doing whatever needed reporting. She needs to remember that - it isn't her fault, it's his

Tben · 15/07/2026 00:04

The moral is - don’t throw stuff at people’s houses. It’s about time people started calling out this shit. Give yourself pat on the back.

ofcolitas · 14/07/2026 23:27

You did the right thing. I cannot believe he actually came to your house and threw something - I bet he wasn't alone when he did this either.

What was it he threw? Was anyone hurt?

Original poster
Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 23:23

Galliano · 14/07/2026 23:03

Why is she the one being removed when she hasn’t done anything wrong?

Show quote history

It was her wishes however I do agree. Same as when we are adults a victim of DA is always the one who has to uproot flee and change everything

OP posts:
Galliano · 14/07/2026 23:03

Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 21:44

I have reported it to the school and she has been removed from any classes

Show quote history

Why is she the one being removed when she hasn’t done anything wrong?

RoseOliviaAu · 14/07/2026 22:59

Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 22:21

No but pushing people into a situation they are not ready or comfortable with can be counter productive and needs to be in line with the current risk. If he has come to her home then I would be pressing charges and getting an injunction but if he hasn’t then I do t want to stir things up for her when it’s now settled

It’s not up to you it’s the police’s decision what action is taken. This isn’t America. I’m sorry you’re both scared, hopefully the police will keep your welfare in mind.

Original poster
Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 22:21

No but pushing people into a situation they are not ready or comfortable with can be counter productive and needs to be in line with the current risk. If he has come to her home then I would be pressing charges and getting an injunction but if he hasn’t then I do t want to stir things up for her when it’s now settled

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 14/07/2026 22:12

You do not teach your children to be cowed by bullies.

You’re totally correct to report him. Support your daughter in learning to stand up to this kind of behaviour.

My son has experienced some bullying and I told him that it’s my job to protect him and support him and we report it.

Ignoring it and sweeping it under the carpet is entirely the wrong thing to do.

Original poster
Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 22:07

The school have been brilliant.
im worried because of the child protection referral and the police said they can’t promise they won’t contact him so she is worried sick because he is friends with horrible people

and now we also have to worry about children’s social care contacting him and his parents and saying what she said on top
I done this to protect her not make it worse for her

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 14/07/2026 21:49

No you did the right thing. Someone has to step in and I hope the police do talk to him. The school need to keep her safe too.

Original poster
Elphabayo · 14/07/2026 21:44

30DegreesHighAndRising · 14/07/2026 21:41

First post nails it.

Your daughter wants to minimise his behaviour and placate her ex. She needs to be shown that this is not the way to deal with aggressive ex boyfriends.

It might be useful to inform the school so they're aware. This type of abusive behaviour may be something they discuss in their PHSE classes.

Edited

I have reported it to the school and she has been removed from any classes

OP posts:
30DegreesHighAndRising · 14/07/2026 21:41

First post nails it.

Your daughter wants to minimise his behaviour and placate her ex. She needs to be shown that this is not the way to deal with aggressive ex boyfriends.

It might be useful to inform the school so they're aware. This type of abusive behaviour may be something they discuss in their PHSE classes.

NullaEffugium · 14/07/2026 21:40

It’s good you reported it. They aren’t going to arrest him unless he escalates or he starts a pattern of harassing other girls. If no one reports, these boys grow up to be entitled and dangerous men.

But your daughter’s fears for her safety are valid. I’d do whatever I could to ensure he stays well away from her.

Gardenisablooming · 14/07/2026 21:38

He's a bully and a thug...dd doesn't get to prevent you taking the appropriate action..

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