Secretly I hate when my friends give up drinking

You cant expect people's lives to remain static their entire life surely?

But no one is saying people shouldn't change. It's perfectly fine and even good, but it's a bit less fun. And that's OK. I think it's OK to admit that.

I mean it would probably be super fun to do drugs with friends, but that doesn't mean I'm going start doing it.

Why?

You cant expect people's lives to remain static their entire life surely?

People get married
People get divorced
People have children
People give up drinking
People give up weed
People change their job
People change where they live
People might become unwell or disabled

If you expect friends to never ever change themselves or their circumstances thats really weird and if you dump your friends the second their life changes a bit well, you'd end up with none left

Not at all, friends who don’t drink are fine as they are who they are and don’t suddenly change.
It would be like you knocking back the wine around friends who are used to this side of you before.
It’s the change that causes the shift more than whether friends drink or not.
My DH never drinks but never makes a big deal out of it.

I've never been a drinker for personal reasons. I suppose that means that for some people I'm not 'friend material' (or at least nothing more than a second-tier Day Friend, whatever that is). That's fine, but it is a bit hypocritical to be okay with stating that friends who no longer drink aren't as much fun to spend time with while also expressing frustration with non-drinkers who disparage other people's life choices.

I don't care if random people choose to drink. It's their life, even if they drink more than is healthy, same as it's my right to eat too much cheese than is good for me. But I do judge people who would suggest I'm not as much fun to spend time with simply because I don't drink alcohol.

😂

Jesus.

Me too. Not once has alcohol been the measure of whether we like each other or not.

I agree. If you require your friends to be a bit tipsy to enjoy their company then you clearly dont actually like your friends very much in the first place!

Reading MN makes me so grateful for my lovely friends

yes, I think the same thing and have said so.

He yes. That’s what I actually meant to say. 😁 That’s actually the thing that I take away the most from this. Whether OP likes a drink or not, I’m not really judging (or caring) but if she was my friend and I found out she didn’t enjoy my company because I wasn’t drinking I’d probably drop her.

but its worse even than that. They don't enjoy your company when you are sober.

She did say sober beverages make her feel ‘dystopic’ which seems concerning. I think if I found out a friend didn’t enjoy my company when they were sober I’d be pretty horrified (and upset). I agree though that today’s weed would be far more horrible to put up with on a night out.

I have just worked out what troubles me about this post. If I had a friend who didn't want to spend time with me unless I was drinking alcohol I'd think that they didn't actually like me.

It only matters if you're wanting to get shit faced and want company.

exactly this.

Yanbu, its a personal feeling, youre allowed those

I'd be the same

Er, no? How on earth did you draw that conclusion?

People have been chewing coca leaves and ingesting hallucinogens for a long period of time too. 🙄

OP was saying they don't want to socialize with people who don't drink alcohol because they don't like people drinking non alcoholic drinks around them and they're no fun. That sounds like OP doesn't enjoy themselves without alcohol and feels a bit threatened when others don't drink alcohol too. Who gives a fuck what someone's drinking? Someone who has a problem, that's who.

I bet they don’t enjoy yours as much either. 😂

When I stopped drinking, I realised how thoroughly annoying a lot of people I knew were and how much I used to drink to tolerate having to spend time with them. The crying ones. And ones telling that loud story again. And my favourite, the ones who have to drunkenly explain for the 6th time how they definitely don’t have a drinking problem. 🙄

There are lots of people I do enjoy spending time with now. I just avoid the ones who always seem to be twitchy for wine. It’s really nice to actually be able to enjoy my friends and not just tolerate them.

Yes, I have cried laughing with my friends until I could barely breathe - all without a drop of alcohol.

Thanks goodness I have witty friends that dont need alcohol to be funny 😁

I heard of a party of sober people at a restaurant who were laughing and roaring and having so much fun that the waiters tried to sneak a few 'extra' bottles on their bill, not realising that none of them were drinking... 😄

Does she have a drinking issue to need to give it up? Many people drink regularly and an easily go through a bottle of wine in a week. I suppose its a slippery slope.

This is so silly. Alcohol (unlike cocaine!) has been an integral part of human social activity for thousands of years, done by the majority in a responsible way. The OP is just observing that it's a bit more fun to have a wine with friends than to socialise totally dry, and yeah it is!! Younger generations have replaced booze with weed, which is no better and probably worse given the almost 60% rise in psychotic disorders in young people.

Just because you're teetotal doesn't mean you're healthier. Or better. Or have more control.

But you could be a boring friend, just saying.

I agree. If her friends secretly had non alcoholic wine in their glass she’d be none the wiser. Or maybe OP can only relate to friends who behave in typically drunk ways. I had a friend who loved a drink and was very much a dance on the table and wave your knickers in the air type, she loved a good time … but, to her credit, she never judged or cared if you drank or not. She was secure in herself and enjoyed herself on her own terms and didn’t care if she was the only one on that table.