Secretly I hate when my friends give up drinking

That’s the kind of thing which addicts say to justify their lifestyle.

If you have a problem with people who don’t drink, consider them to be second rate friends, then you absolutely do have a drink problem.

There have been several studies where people have been led to believe they’re drinking, or in the company of people who are drinking where in fact there is 0 alcohol in the equation, and they have behaved accordingly, even believed they’re drunk, and then it turns out they’ve been drinking non alcoholic all night.

The people who judge others for not drinking seem to forget that alcohol is an addictive substance. It is responsible for countless health conditions, obesity, heart and liver disease, alcohol ruins lives, and if you’re not addicted now you’re on the road there.

If you need alcohol to feel enabled, and more to the point if you feel that you can only be friends with like-minded drinkers then it’s a short leap to being entirely dependent on alcohol. You already feel that you’re not yourself without it. That says everything you don’t yet want to admit.

It’s one thing to say that you’re not bothered about giving up alcohol yourself, that you enjoy a glass of wine so don’t feel you need or want to.

Relegating your friends and judging them for doing so is on the problematic scale of drinking.

And for the person who compared it to skiing, it’s not remotely comparable. Skiing is an activity, people go on skiing holidays, therefore it stands to reason that they might not have that in common should one of them give it up.

Drinking however is not something you have to do, you can go to the same places, do the same activities, have the same conversations, and you don’t need drink to do it.

What’s that got to do with the price of fish? Nothing worse than someone who things everyone else in the world suffers from their same issues

I used to feel like this. Then I realised I was an alcoholic.

What about those with anxiety? Are they automatically boring because a drink gives them a bit of Dutch courage?

Yanbu sometimes going for a good piss up with friends is is it what the Doctor ordered! Sadly as we get older health must be prioritised though.

Humans have drunk alcohol and used other substances to have fun for thousands of years. Animals do too. It’s normal.

Not drinking is fine. But no-one has the kind of night they’ll never forget do they? The night when you bond deeply with others. When you feel like nothing can stop you.

I’ve think we’ll get past this sobriety period when intoxicating substances that aren’t harmful are invented. Can’t be long.

I like one or two glasses of wine and as someone who is very shy I find I relax into the conversation more. I often don’t drink though as need to drive. I still enjoy myself and certainly don’t get comments from friends but if I’m honest thr best evenings are when I’ve had a drink. I don’t drink enough to have a hangover and can happily get up and get on with life the next day.

I'm not a non-drinker, I'm simply speaking from experience of the attitudes shown by several very heavy drinkers and alcoholics in my extended family.

There's a fair few of you telling people who've chosen to give up drinking for their health, so they don't end up with liver failure (or migraine, or worse menopause symptoms, or dehydrated skin, poorer sleep, poorer concentration, belly fat...) that they're boring and their friends don't like them anymore. So I guess it balances out.

“It’s ok to miss it OP but the person who’s quit has done it for a reason - they almost certainly miss it too but overall drinking can be a really negative force in some people’s lives. A good friend is supportive when a mate does something positive for themselves.”

This.
I always loved a drink but too often and too easily tipped over into what I believe is classed as binge-drinking these days (2 large glasses of wine - easy).

I stopped a year ago when I was injured while drunk (as they say, after a few drinks). I’m still suffering the effects of that stupid accident but I could’ve ended up in a wheelchair or worse so I was lucky. I was also too embarrassed to go straight to A&E so it’s possible that hindered my healing.

I don’t care what anyone thinks as I order my 0% beer; I’m never going to be in that situation again (not through drink anyway). The lols (such as they were) are just not worth it.

I do often find, when out with certain people, they’re the ones who start to flag and go quiet while their eyelids start to droop, so either I’m a total bore or they’re complete lightweights!

O have one particular friendship group that I worry wouldn’t survive without the drink. They are the most fun people in my life and I absolutely love having a weekend of drinking with them. I hope none of us stop because as sad as it sounds. It just wouldn’t be as fun

Water or pop makes you feel ‘dysphoric’?? Girl that’s a problem

But if it genuinely is only one or two drinks then why are you funding things so very different.
I don’t drink. Some of my friends do.others don’t. When we are out we are all rolling around laughing and talking and having a great time.

I have a friend like this. She gets really weird when I say im not drinking. It makes her look deeply insecure. My other friends who drink never seem bothered by it, just her. I never ever announce it, just ask for a coke or juice when its my turn to order. But she always has something to say or a look to give. Funnily enough shes the one who always has drank the most.

I remember when I first stopped drinking I said something to a wise relation about meeting my friends and she said if you need alcohol to meet up with your friends, you need new friends.

I am much much more fun on a night out without alcohol in me - BUT - it is my boozy friends that don’t care whether I drink or not that are the most fun company. The ones whose faces fell when I said I was driving or trying not to kill my liver or the ones that’s oh go on just one, or whatever the pointless thing people who can’t bear the company of non drinkers say - they are the ones that can’t enjoy themselves when really what’s in my glass has no bearing on the evening. I’ve actually pretended I’m having multiple G&Ts to one friend as she is so shirty about anyone resting their liver for the night. She has no idea. Told my very puzzled sister about a night out in Feb where we were both “sloshed”.

Trust me, we hate having to give it up too. But such is life…. They have their reasons.

It was destroying my life and nobody could even see it. But yes I do miss a tipsy gab with my girls.

Why dont you try it and see what you're missing @CurdinHenry

I’ve been through phases of drinking too much and phases of drinking very little. Overall my life is better when I don’t drink or I drink very little but that’s a reflection on my propensity to overdo it rather than anything else. One of the things I do miss when I’m off the sauce is a few glasses of wine with a friend.

It’s ok to miss it OP but the person who’s quit has done it for a reason - they almost certainly miss it too but overall drinking can be a really negative force in some people’s lives. A good friend is supportive when a mate does something positive for themselves.

I secretly hate it when drinking friends become judgy and make me feel uncomfortable for not wanting to drink anymore. Oh that sounds like you OP

You don’t get that 2 glasses of wine buzz without it do you? Seemed pretty obvious to me

You do know it is possible to have a few drinks and NOT get drunk??

Gosh the hand wringing on this thread is OTT, even by MN standards.

All of the people I enjoy hanging out with I enjoy sober or after a glass or two.

If I don’t enjoy their company sober then I don’t choose to spend the time.

Do you not ever just want to see your friends in the day and not drink? We have nice times out now and again with a drink but many more, equally enjoyable afternoon coffees or days out etc.

If it’s only a couple of glasses then what possible difference is it to you what is in their glass?

you make no sense at all.

and your ski analogy is irrelevant. If your friends stopped skiing then you wouldn’t be able to go skiing together. If your friends stop drinking alcohol you can still go out to pubs or dinner together.

I feel like this a bit!

I enjoy having a few drinks with friends, and I obviously can't do that with friends who don't drink anymore.

I obviously respect people's right not to drink, but I don't think I should have to pretend that a sober evening, or drinking alone, is exactly the same, because it isn't.

I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste of alcohol but most people don’t know that because I don’t tell them. If need be, I will get a glass of wine to play with or just be the driver for the night. It’s just easier than the whole conversation about it. And think it’s safe to say that I’ve never noticed that I’ve been phrased out of a group because of it. One thing is true, by not drinking I hold more secrets and memories than most of my drinking friends.