AIBU to ask for more flexibility before accepting this job offer?

Why should other staff be just get on with it. They may come across as being reasonable about it, but I doubt that’s really the case.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you knew the location was difficult to get to and you’re childcare provision or lack of, is not the employer’s concern. There’s nothing more that gets the backs up of colleagues who don’t have children or need childcare than a parent who expects preferential treatment and leaves on the dot and they have to pick up the slack. You can’t have your cake and eat it. Either the hours work or they don’t. Having said that, there’s nothing stopping you asking the question as part of the negotiations but be prepared for them to say no. Personally I’d stay put and look for something that’s definitely more flexible.

Totally agree. Either employees can fulfil the hours or they can’t.

Give her a break.
Being a working mum is hard enough without other people, shockingly, other WOMEN attacking her.

I've never had any problem with more flexibility being given to people at work who had children. Our manager does not allow much flexibility though and I could never understand why as it would've made working parents happy and the rest of staff would've been reasonable to get on with it, I certainly would've had no issues with it.
Society isn't built around having children, COL is insane and all I'm seeing is women attacking other mums which is exactly what the billionaires controlling us would want so well done for being a part of this broken system.

If it’s pick up and drop off you need help with then why not do what most people do and utilise breakfast/afterschool clubs with maybe childminder option? That’s what SIL and DB do. Then there’s flex from SIL’s work if she needs to drop off/pick up her eldest at his Monday music class (after school but after after school club) or anything else. Same with DB’s work. SIL works in Farringdon but approx 40 min to 1 hour commute via train. DB can sometimes work in Hackney or Walthamstow or central London similar commute.

You don’t have to do the above forever either, just utilise until you’re bedded into the new job and have passed probation.

This. My current boss has been in her job 6 months which is also the probation period. She works 2 days a week from home generally but lives close enough so she can come in in 15 mins (driving). She recently negotiated a 4 day week with Fridays off as her elderly mother is very unwell and needs extra help from her. I don’t know if she condenses hours to make up time or not. But this is after a 6 month long stretch and passing probation at 6 month standard period. I think this is fair. Plus, she’s very experienced and has more than settled in and proved herself in the period she’s been there.

OP can do this easily in the job she’s currently in so she can stay there if the new one don’t want her to start late and WFH more. It’s ultimately the company’s decision, she can ask but I wouldn’t expect them to accept unless OP is absolutely perfect and no other candidate was up to scratch.

I'm not disagreeing, but the kids still need to be picked up.

So where does that get us?

Disagree. If we want equality we have to be willing to put in the hours at work. It’s no good being like oh we’re just as good as our male counterparts, except we want to mostly WFH and start work later than them.

Of course you should ask.
No harm at all.
How annoying to go through the whole process only to find out now that it will be hard to juggle.

If they are very inflexible it could be the nod you need not to accept.
Good luck.

I agree. How many men would apply for a full time job and then ask if they could finish at 3 to pick the kids up? Or any other flexible scenario. I’d say zero.

Christ alive. Where have you worked to have this opinion of part time women workers? Why would it only up to the Mum to do any of these things? If it is, why can she not pick up the slack later on? I have worked in senior roles since I've had kids, and as per my first post, I was given the first part time role in the company to accommodate my needs. I'm still at the company now, 10 years later. That what happens when you're the best person for the job. They make it work.

Not in the real world unfortunately. Companies can be parent-friendly but then the slack is picked up by the non parents.

Flexibility for all is a long way off.

Depends how they define ‘best’ I suppose. Someone who is forever having to drop things and dash off because little Johnny is being sent home from school sick or someone who can’t work a minute outside their core hours would have to be spectacular at their job to balance out the inconvenience to others.

If employers have a business that can be flexible surely they should just become flexible for all? Why just parents? A company really should just be “adult life friendly” surely?

Or, its shows that if companies want to employ the absolute best people, they need to consider flexible working.

Women having to ask for flexibility is just another indicator to an employer that we are somehow still less than our male counterparts.

Yea you should ask. It would be a shame to leave your flexible job on the assumption that you can negotiate flexibility at the new one later, to then find out that they won’t do it. Also I think employers tend to respect people who stand up for themselves and won’t get pushed around by silly policies. There is no reason anyone needs to start work at 8:30 unless it is a specific meeting you've agreed to do. But on a daily basis it’s just inflexibility. Any reasonable employee would agree.

Oh my god, I know! People are like "just decline, they won't do it". How would you even know if you don't ask?

I went for my dream role 10 years ago. It was a full time position, building out a new team. I asked in the interview if they would consider 4 days as my son was only 18 months. And they did! They agreed for me to be the very first part time worker in the company - because they wanted me. If I'd asked on here before I went to the interview loads of people would be telling me to withdraw my application.

If they want you OP then they might well consider it. There is no harm in asking at all.

I would ask

employers are slowly becoming more parent friendly

i personally wouldnt even interview for jobs on the wrong side of town for my commute. They have to be near my stations

Same at DH’s work. A woman asked to leave early every day to collect her children and agreed to also start early to make up the time so they agreed. She never turns up early and always leaves early. Some people are CFs.

It depends on the type of job. If it takes a lot of meetings, collaboration with colleagues, deadlines during the day etc, then obviously it wouldn't work.

But if someone works mostly independently and their limited interaction with others is easily managed during their daytime hours, then does it really matter that they do some hours in the evening?

In some jobs, there are so many (often unnecessary) interruptions during the working day, that working at an evening actually means the person can concentrate uninterrupted better.

In terms of this job, the OP can ask, and take it from there.

Yes it might be tough shit for the other staff but it’s also tough shit for the OP if she gets off on the wrong foot with her colleagues.

Also people saying no harm in asking - I think that they may look unfavourably upon someone asking for the job to work around their lives when they haven’t proven themselves.

I am SO productive in the later evening. Nobody mithering me on Teams constantly or endless emails coming through to distract.