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AIBU?

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Why can’t I report this horrible woman?

110 replies

bs125 · 14/07/2026 18:27

Horrible woman who used to be my very good friend, made a malicious police report several years ago about me and my children. It was instantly confirmed by police it was malicious and no further action was taken. I know it was her, I am 100% on this. I have never confronted her as she would just deny it. She tried to ruin my life through jealousy (not jealous of me directly).

I Need to still see her daily and I am civil but inside I am reeling all these years later. I want to wipe the smug smile off her face. She claims to be living as a single person and receives benefits, whilst living the high life not single and not struggling in any way. I want to report her for benefit fraud, but I simply can’t do it. I don’t have it in me to do it.

why can’t I do it? I physically can’t bring myself to do it, my conscience won’t allow me to. When Everytime I see her I get so angry at how smug and smart she thinks she is. I can’t seem to let go of the anger towards her, if anyone has any tips on how to deal with the anger I feel please let me know. Aibu that I feel like this yet still can’t bring myself to report her?

OP posts:
Lobsterteapot · 14/07/2026 19:43

Didn’t you post about this yesterday op?

godmum56 · 14/07/2026 19:42

Floatingdownriver · 14/07/2026 19:38

An eye for an eye and the world is blind.

take the high road on this one.

nah

MerryUmberHedgehog · 14/07/2026 19:40

You are the better person by the sound of it. Leave it and move on. Focus your feelings on yourself.

Floatingdownriver · 14/07/2026 19:38

An eye for an eye and the world is blind.

take the high road on this one.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 14/07/2026 19:36

my conscience won’t allow me to.

I dont get this.

Objectively even if she'd done nothing to you she's committing fraud.... I'd report her on that basis alone

Hereforadviceee · 14/07/2026 19:31

It’s not worth posting threads like these. Too many people doing the same reading them. 🤣 and get their back up.

TheOccupier · 14/07/2026 19:27

PM me her details and I'll do it!

Lordofmyflies · 14/07/2026 19:26

Report her. She’s committing fraud. I can’t bear benefit fraud. It is taking money away from those who need it.

daughterfromhell · 14/07/2026 19:23

God, not another one. Go away and live your life ffs!

TheThirteenthFairy · 14/07/2026 19:22

itsmeitsyou · 14/07/2026 18:49

@bs125
@LittlestBoho has pit it perfectly 👌

You need to make a choice.
Also invest in a punch bag also. I found this a good way to let out my anger, getting a stronger punch and really digging my cousin back was the happy side effect.

Edited to add
I'm a firm believer of she who stirs the pot eventually licks the spoon. You reporting is delivering the spoon

Edited

@itsmeitsyou - 'She who stirs the pot eventually licks the spoon'. I've never heard this before, and it is sublime. Thank you so much.

ClawsandEffect · 14/07/2026 19:21

Swallow your conscience and do it. You won't regret it.

OneNewEagle · 14/07/2026 19:19

Can’t you just stop seeing her? Just block her in every way and move on. I’ve had people let me down over the years, I never ever spoke to them again. It is that simple.

and yes if she’s fraudulently claiming benefits report her but that’s a separate thing, if you don’t see her or speak to her you’d not know that.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/07/2026 19:18

Is she doing something illegal? She doesn't need to be single, she just needs to not be living with a partner

CreamCrackeredZZZ · 14/07/2026 19:16

@bs125 if she is claiming illegally it needs investigating.

Bride2bbbbb · 14/07/2026 19:16

I’d report her. Absolutely boils my piss when people are claiming benefits they literally are not entitled to. She won’t know it’s you.

TheignT · 14/07/2026 19:15

I think the problem is you don't actually know it was her. I had a problem with neighbours, they made a complaint to council about a planning issue. I knew who it was, she couldn't look at me, was horrible to my kids. I went to council to read the complaint. It wasn't her.

aliasfrog · 14/07/2026 19:14

bs125 · 14/07/2026 18:47

Thanks all.

the thing is she has nothing she can report me for unless it’s malicious. If I reported her it’s because she is doing something illegal. I usually keep myself to myself and mind my own business but this pot has been boiling over for years and she’s getting more smug by the day.

Yous are right I really do need to let go of this anger, it’s not good for me. I have beautiful DC who deserve the best version of me not one that is trying to conceal anger.

just infuriates me that people get to try and ruin other people’s life’s through jealousy but nothing ever seems to happen to them.

I agree, and there will always be people who act out and it may seem like nothing happens to them, but in the end they're doing it to themselves, always worrying about what other people are doing.

Focus on your lovely life and leave her to her misery and jealousy.

TheignT · 14/07/2026 19:14

I think the problem is you don't actually know it was her. I had a problem with neighbours, they made a complaint to council about a planning issue. I knew who it was, she couldn't look at me, was horrible to my kids. I went to council to read the complaint. It wasn't her.

godmum56 · 14/07/2026 19:11

report her, why not? I was victimised by a couple who lived near to me. I dealt with it and put them back in their box and shortly afterwards they moved but the weeks it took to for me to deal with it were nighmarish. I'd dob them in without a second thought. Play stupid games. win stupid prizes.

MyThreeWords · 14/07/2026 18:53

You seem so intensely preoccupied with her that I doubt that reporting her for benefit fraud will give you the release of anger you are seeking. Other circumstances will come along to feed your anger.

You need to step back from her and work on yourself. It is ridiculous for the idea of vengeance for another's wrongdoing should be so central to your wellbeing.

Owly11 · 14/07/2026 18:52

It's because if you report her you will lose your moral superiority and that's the bit that you cherish more. If you report her, in your mind you become as bad as her.

MyArtfulGreySloth · 14/07/2026 18:50

I’d report her. She won’t know it was you.

itsmeitsyou · 14/07/2026 18:49

@bs125
@LittlestBoho has pit it perfectly 👌

You need to make a choice.
Also invest in a punch bag also. I found this a good way to let out my anger, getting a stronger punch and really digging my cousin back was the happy side effect.

Edited to add
I'm a firm believer of she who stirs the pot eventually licks the spoon. You reporting is delivering the spoon

bs125 · 14/07/2026 18:47

Thanks all.

the thing is she has nothing she can report me for unless it’s malicious. If I reported her it’s because she is doing something illegal. I usually keep myself to myself and mind my own business but this pot has been boiling over for years and she’s getting more smug by the day.

Yous are right I really do need to let go of this anger, it’s not good for me. I have beautiful DC who deserve the best version of me not one that is trying to conceal anger.

just infuriates me that people get to try and ruin other people’s life’s through jealousy but nothing ever seems to happen to them.

OP posts:
Pearlstillsinging · 14/07/2026 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What a very odd post! OP specifically said that she has never confronted her former friend.

OP, which will make you feel better, deliberately letting it all go, or choosing to justifiably report her for fraud?