Why can’t I report this horrible woman?

This, I’m not handing a chunk of my salary over to HMRC so other people can con their way to an easy life. It’s supposed to be to support people in dire need. People who cheat benefits need prosecuting, it leads to a low trust society where we all think others are lying and taking advantage of honest people. Benefits fraud is one route to a break down in community, and needs to be reported and prosecuted. I don’t care if MN thinks it’s busybodying, the idea that someone who steals from the community should be left to enjoy it is ridiculous.

Why on earth would "conscience" stop you reporting theft and fraud? She's stealing from all of us.

Wait what?

Is she or is she not defrauding the benefit system?

That is the ONLY thing that matters.

Of course you must report her if she is claiming but not entitled so lying to steal money. It's a civic duty.

How do you know she claims benefits as a single person?

She’s obviously upset you a lot (which is understandable) but do you only see her daily because she lives 2 doors down? I had assumed you were colleagues or similar before you said that. If she’s just someone that lives on your street freeze her out and put her out of her mind.

If it's a council tenancy there is a limit of how often someone can stay

If she is cheating the system then report her!

Report her. We can’t afford benefit cheats and she’s exactly the sort of person that is ruining the welfare system for people who really need it.
I would say the same if you liked her and she was your friend.
Its fraud and everyone else is paying for her.

I mean, probably because you’re not her. You might hate her, but a little part of you also doesn’t want a hand in ruining someone’s life specifically because you’re not her. I stay the fuck out of benefits situations because I never know; they could be living the high life on credit cards they’ll never be able to pay. You can’t force things that people deserve to happen any faster. She’ll get hers when she gets hers, you’ll have the satisfaction of having had this power over her but just refusing to waste your time getting involved, and when it bites her in her arse, you can have a nice cackle with your mates about it.

Well said. If I knew someone doing this I’d report them the minute I knew about it. I’m not paying tax so that someone can take the proverbial. I expect my tax/NI to be spent on people who need support.

In my opinion it is people who defraud the system who make others think that people can live the high life on benefits and are all for benefit cuts. I would therefore happily report anyone I suspected of benefit fraud as their behaviour impacts everyone.

Another ‘ friend on benefits’ post.

Why not end the ‘friendship’ and stop being so two faced?

You’ll feel better when you make new friends who you don’t have to come complaining to Mumsnet about.

Her payments will be stopped when they investigate. If she is genuine, it will cause awful stress.

If you report her they will investigate. She'll only face consequences if she has done something wrong - if she hasn't that will be the end of the matter. If she has, then that money should be recovered or at least payment should be stopped because it's meant for people who need it and we are all paying for it in one way or another. You have a moral obligation to report it and you are not on any kind of moral high ground by not getting involved.

Someone once told me not forgiving someone is like there's an invisible fishing wire between you and them, except the hook is in you not them. They're living their life totally unaware you still hold a grudge. You're the one in pain and the only one that can remove that connection.

FWIW they're spending taxpayers money that could be put to better use, and irrespective of her past actions should be reported imo.

You should report her for harassment of you because that’s what you know she has done wrong. Reporting her for some random thing you don’t know the details of just to be spiteful isn’t the way to handle this I don’t think.

Thing is, even if you do report her, you'll not get much satisfaction from it. You'll probably never hear the outcome, unless by slim chance she's prosecuted and it's in the news.
You might hear on the grapevine she's 'been done' but I doubt greatly you'll see much outward change in her lifestyle and behaviour. If she's living with someone he'll just move out or they will make a couples claim, and they'll repay the overpayment plus any fine in installments, and get on with their lives.
If she's smug and braggy, she'll brazen it out.
My point, if you want to do it for ethical reasons, that's up to you. But as revenge it won't really deliver, as you'll not know its worked.

You can't report her because you have principles, self worth and self esteem @bs125.☺️ Brilliant attributes, not to be wasted on your sad sack neighbour.

You respect yourself more than you want revenge. Good for you.👏👏👏

You have a great life, great children. Why do you let this person intrude on that? Forget about her, forget she even exists. She doesn’t feature in your life anymore, don’t let her. You’re not jealous of her, if anything it’s pity she’s not in your position of being thoroughly content with what you have. Don’t let the things you can’t control consume you.

Your concience is making you complicit in a crime that’s to the detriment of the society you live in? Why is your mind and concience trained to be on the opposite side from the law?

OP, I'm going to be completely honest with you.

I know from professional experience that if you report her, the most likely outcome is sweet FA.

I know the DWP like to be seen as cracking down on benefit fraud. They like to scare people into not commiting it by making us all think they are bang on it.

The reality is, they're not. Not by a long shot. They may "investigate". Which will simply mean asking her if she's loving with a partner or making her tick some boxes to confirm her "details are up to date" they might ring her if they suspect something dodge.

She'll probably give some bullshit reason over the phone and they'll accept it. Because they simply don't have the resources to actually investigate properly. And they can't just take your word for it.

All those interviews and hidden cameras catching people lifting weights at the gym while claiming they can't stand unaided that you see on TV? Doesn't happen.

And if it ever does, it's for the big big cases where people are coming hundreds of thousands and have several houses and multiple personas. Not small fry like this.

So honestly, I wouldn't bother. All that's going to happen is you're going to be left even angrier and frustrated while you watch her smugly get away with it.

Just try not to think about it as much as you can, so it doesn't eat you up.

Why is it bad to report someone who is breaking the law?

The benefit fraud reporting line is there for good reason, I wouldn't blame you for using it, especially considering what she did to you, her friend. That's completely unacceptable.

If you do decide to report her, will you spend the rest of your life ruminating on it?

Could you find out if there were any consequences for her false reporting about you?

Ah fuck it, I'd report her. I thought mn hated benefit claimants so wheres the outrage for a fraud one? Report her and feel good.

I think you should report her

There are so many women claiming to be single parents whilst having their partners live there FT.
It really pisses me off!

However if you don’t want to go down the route of reporting her, perhaps try dropping in “still not engaged?”, “still not set a date”, “why is your DP dragging his feet so much” - not only will this make her feel like shit and cause issues in her relationship but if she does get married then she can’t pretend to be a single mother anymore.

Obviously you’ll need to play it safe as if she’s reading this it will be obvious.

Just remember she is jealous for a reason.
If your life wasn’t better than hers then there’d be nothing for her to be jealous over.