To be upset at how many people turned up to my dad's funeral in casual clothes?

You can honour someone's life without wearing a bloody fascinator and closed toe shoes. Nobody has any right to be "furious" at the clothes someone wears to a funeral. They took time out to come, they paid their respects no matter what their attire. It's about presence, it's not a wedding, there are no photo's. It is showing up, making the effort to come, that's where the respect lies.

It's not a fashion show and neither is it Downton Abbey.

I don’t have any funeral attire at the moment. But if I was to attend a funeral, I would go out and buy attire suitable for a funeral. I wouldn’t turn up looking like a lazy, scruffy slob that’s for sure

Why is it dreadful? Why shouldn't a bride wear something she's comfortable in to her own wedding?

Agree.
I’m really sorry for your loss op, your dad sounds like a lovely man, and you must be feeling his absence deeply.
Of course it’s good of people to show up and pay their respects but I agree that it’s very poor form indeed to look so scruffy while doing so. There really is no excuse, imo. It’s not difficult, expensive or otherwise to do so.

Nipping out of work is one thing…. Turning up purposely looking like a complete slob because it’s “comfy” and “trendy” and “everyone dresses casual nowadays” is quite another. Op is very clearly upset by those sort of people, upset enough to write a thread about it. It was her own father at the end of the day and people couldn’t be arsed to dress nicely for his funeral.

i no longer have any smart clothes, certainly not black ones.

Only family usually wear black to the funeral plus it’s the middle of a heatwave, I’d personally appreciate that people showed up at all op . Your taking it way to personal. People come from work or having been with kids etc . They’ve made the effort to pay their final respects.

I'm sorry for your loss and that you were upset by mourners dress. I think the usual dress code is dark unless requested otherwise.
It is my 48 year old daughters late fiancé's funeral on Friday and to reflect his love of music we are all turning up in band shirts, even the celebrant and funeral directors, if we want to of course.

No I would find it upsetting too - I am sorry! When my grandma died I dressed in a smart black dress, heels and fascinator and whilst we didn’t expect extended family to wear a headpiece, we hoped everyone would dress smart. I remember my Aunty (Grandma’s DIL) looked like she went to Tesco… hadn’t even brushed her hair by the looks of it! My mum was rightly furious.

In contrast, I went to a funeral recently on my husbands side. I’d never met the distant uncle but still wore the dress, heels etc and all of my husbands cousins were scruffy and they knew the man! I could t believe it. Okay, you can argue it’s not a reason to ‘celebrate’ so people may not want to dress nicely but I think it’s respectful to dress smartly to honour that persons life.

I’ve had to skip a few pages but I was at a funeral today. It was hot but men in suits,teenage grandson in shirt and trousers ,teenage granddaughter in long black skirt ,widow in black trousers and jacket but a pretty flowery scarf. Everyone seemed appropriately dressed although not in black but in what I would suspect was their best outfit. I wore a black cotton jacket over a black cotton top and because I have a newish scar on my leg that catches on material I wore a black and beige skirt which had a silk lining which didn’t catch. I also wore a very” good “piece of jewellery because I wanted in an old fashioned way to look as though I had made a serious effort out of respect. The young nurses who had looked after him were there in uniform . We had all made an effort. It’s not difficult.

Exactly, people who are dead can't even see what people are wearing.

People wear all sorts to face a judge, so that dose t make sense.

She said her dad was very accepting of people and not judgemental.

People who were "unwashed" she later said were in work clothes. So people have nipped out during work to attend the funeral. I think that's rather nice personally.

I see what you mean it is a bit disrespectful I like to wear the full black etc.

Its been incredibly hot and maybe that had a bearing on people's choices but....
They came....they paid their respects and that really is the main thing.

Let it go x.

For my siblings funeral(in 1989), people showed up in all manner of clothing. Dressed in Sunday go to meeting clothing right down to wearing their dirty work jeans. after working at the lumber mill. I didn't care I was glad they were there to show their respects.
I recently went to my DHs uncles funeral (he was 93) Even auntie didn't wear all black. Some people ask that people wear bright clothes.
I let my kids know that if they have a funeral for me I expect bright colourful and even sparkly clothing to be wore.
To me showing your respects is more important than what you wear to a funeral or celebration of life.

I'm sure she would be gutted you don't approve.

Hardly dreadful, the bride wearing the shoes she wants to wear.

I would be upset too. Unless the family requests bright colours/casual then smart dress is expected. A pair of dark trousers and short sleeve shirt or midi/maxi dress I'm subdued colour covering boobs and shoulders are suitable in hot weather and most people own or could easily buy cheaply. Turning up in joggers, dirty etc isn't OK

At my Brother in laws funeral,lots of his workmates came in their dinner hour in their work clothes. My sister couldn't care less that they weren't suited and booted. She was touched they came.

My deepest sympathies on your loss OP, it sounds like a super tough time and I can see why you’re upset.
I think there is a middle ground to be had in clothing for funerals, sadly I’ve been to 4 funerals so far this year.
The first two were for older members of my family in their 80’s, everyone bar 2 people wore mostly black/dark colours and were fairly smart ie suits, dresses etc (no hats or equiv) my 2 cousins came like they were dressed for the pub, one in ripped jeans and another in shorts.
No one really batted an eyelid but they did stand out like a sore thumb.
The other 2 funerals were for people slightly younger (70’s) and they expressly said to wear everyday clothes, no black, bright colours preferably.
I wore sandals and a dress that I wear all the time in the summer, but I wouldn’t have done had the families not requested/passed on the information.
I think if I were you, I would just try and appreciate that they had turned up to say their goodbyes/pay their respects regardless of what they wore, despite feeling a little let down.
If they had left work to attend the funeral and were heading straight back to work afterwards I could understand work clothes rather than just not bothering to change though.

They are probably already pushing their break to the extreme and don't have 10 minutes more.

That’s bizarre. I’ve never seen people like that at a funeral.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

How absolutely dreadful! Not the flex you think it is either.

Husbands brother turned up to his own grandmothers funeral, in a large striped black and white shirt, no wife with him.

I was astonished, but I assume it was his best, and could have been expensive.

At least he turned up, his other brother and his wife didn’t bother.