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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to withdraw my offer of accommodation after she cancelled dogsitting?

161 replies

Dogshitter · 14/07/2026 14:17

A good friend of mine recently got in touch asking if she could stay with me for a few weeks during August. She has been travelling and can’t move back in to her house until her current tenants have left. As it happens, I needed to find a Dogsitter for one of the weeks when I’m away working. This seemed like the perfect arrangement and I would have been happy to accommodate her as it suited us both. I cancelled my paid booking with my regular dog sitter and informed said friend.

She messaged me late last night saying she’d accidentally double booked and agreed to do a house/dogsit (trusted house sitters or something) during the week I needed her to dogsit. It’s in a location close to an elderly relative of hers so she can spend some quality time there too. She was hugely apologetic but resolute that she couldn’t cancel the other dogsit in favour of helping me.

This has been arranged for almost a month, and I’m now in the situation of having to find paid dogsitting over the bank holiday weekend. It’s not just about the money; my dog is really nervous and not the best fit for many dogsitting situations.

I feel like telling her that she can’t stay for the remaining weeks now that the situation no longer works for me. We agreed this prior to her taking the other booking, and it’s left me in the shit.

WIBU to refuse to let her stay now?

OP posts:
Daisymail · 14/07/2026 17:17

30DegreesHighAndRising · 14/07/2026 14:21

It seems a bit of a coincidence how the dates coincided. Do you think she's done this deliberately, so that she gets free accommodation from you without having the responsibility of the dog?

This.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 14/07/2026 17:17

Not at all. Just say that the house will not now be available as you will have a paid sitter in residence so she will need to find alternative accommodation for the that period. And try grovelling with your previously booked dogsitter. They may know someone else who can help if they’ve filled the slot.

EmptyInTheValley · 14/07/2026 17:15

There's a lot of pussyfooting (sorry) going on here in some of these answers.

I would just tell her that she has dropped me in the shit as I have cancelled the other sitter now, and that she is no longer welcome to stay.

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 14/07/2026 17:12

She can stay with her relative or go into an airbnb for the duration.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 14/07/2026 17:07

I'd tell her you accidentally double booked your guest room and the other guest suits you more.

Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair · 14/07/2026 17:03

Fuck her! And all the constant cunts cancelling everywhere! Selfish fucks just do what they like and don't care the consequences for who they have cancelled at the last minute.

Original poster
Dogshitter · 14/07/2026 17:01

BotterMon · 14/07/2026 16:54

You cancelled your dog sitter and then informed your friend? You did it the wrong way round!

Only after my friend had agreed to the dates and that she could dogsit instead

OP posts:
socialdilemmawhattodo · 14/07/2026 17:01

EarringsandLipstick · 14/07/2026 15:20

You’d be really petty. It’s annoying but just really mean on your part to tell her to leave - surely you’d have let her stay even if you’d no requirement for dog sitting?

But that would then have been a different arrangement. I agree with a pp the co-incidence of dates is too much.

MistakenFlutterby · 14/07/2026 17:00

For those saying “it’s petty”, no, it’s what not allowing people to treat you as a door mat looks like.

SunnyRedSnail · 14/07/2026 17:00

Dogshitter · 14/07/2026 16:32

@MathsMum3 No, definitely a dog lover and dogsits for lots of friends/people. I think she’s genuinely made a mistake (& also the other situation probably suits her better). She says she wrote the dates down on a piece of paper that she then mislaid. It’s dropped me in the shit though. I have an extremely stressful work summer and having a house guest isn’t ideal. Knowing my beloved dog would be ok trumped all that, so I think that’s why I’m feeling so angry.

I would go one of two ways.

Either say "sorry, I've just been given a really tough project for work so unfortunately won't be able to have anyone staying in the summer. Hope you can find something else".

Or "I appreciate you have double booked, but it's now going to cost me £XXX to get another dog sitter at such short notice. As you're staying with me this summer, perhaps you could contribute towards the cost of this?"

Coralsunset · 14/07/2026 16:59

YANBU. Absolutely no way would I let her take the piss like that.

Livpool · 14/07/2026 16:58

Dogshitter · 14/07/2026 16:32

@MathsMum3 No, definitely a dog lover and dogsits for lots of friends/people. I think she’s genuinely made a mistake (& also the other situation probably suits her better). She says she wrote the dates down on a piece of paper that she then mislaid. It’s dropped me in the shit though. I have an extremely stressful work summer and having a house guest isn’t ideal. Knowing my beloved dog would be ok trumped all that, so I think that’s why I’m feeling so angry.

I think you need to tell her this. A ‘few weeks’ is too long for a house guest.

I am a bit of a pushover and even I would say no to this.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/07/2026 16:57

yanbu. I’d fall out with a friend who done this quicker than if they slept with DH.
Ddog won’t understand going to a strange house, the new dog sitter.

HammyHocky · 14/07/2026 16:55

AlwaysExtraHot · 14/07/2026 16:39

If it's Trusted Housesitters, there's no money involved.

Show quote history

Ah okay, it was the only explanation I could think of!

BotterMon · 14/07/2026 16:54

You cancelled your dog sitter and then informed your friend? You did it the wrong way round!

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 16:52

I would be really pissed off-she can stay with the elderly relative instead until her house is ready.

Hadalifeonce · 14/07/2026 16:52

'No.problem, I am glad you are able to stay with your elderly relative. Take care:
That is what I would send.

ThisISmycircusandtheseAREmymonkeys · 14/07/2026 16:51

Are you sure it wasn’t because she was hoping you would offer her money for dog sitting? As insinuating she would get paid for house sitting at the other house but not yours.

nevernotmaybe · 14/07/2026 16:49

DearlyDiego · 14/07/2026 15:24

I'd feign stupidity and reply something like "Oh, that's put me in a bit of a situation to find a replacement, but I'll look into it today. Great news that your [other friend/relative] can host you for the weeks you needed. All works out in the end"

Then watch her squirm when she replies that actually, no, she still needs a favour from you...and you can reply in a day or two that: sorry, the only alternative you can find for her change of plans needs to stay at yours, so there's no more room at the inn.

I absolutely am petty and I don't see why people are so worried about being so. Your friend isn't worried about inconveniencing you, so why are you worried about her?

Edited

No favour existed, the first thing the OP did was not want to give a favour and turned it into a job for accommodation. So not "still", just the first time the OP will have to consider actually doing a favour for a friend.

saraclara · 14/07/2026 16:48

"It's probably best that we forget about meeting up as I can't make any plans at the moment beyond trying to fix this situation."

I like that.

30DegreesHighAndRising · 14/07/2026 16:47

It sounds like she took the booking after agreeing to look after your dog, which should make it an easy choice which commitment to follow through with. Either way, it's her choice whether she lets you down or lets the other people down. She must realise how difficult this will be for you, yet she's prioritising her own preference over your real needs.

It seems unlikely that you'd enjoy her company knowing this, so I'd cancel her stay. Whether you tell her why is up to you, but you could definitely say something about how disappointed you are that after cancelling your arrangements you are now going to have to find another solution. "It's probably best that we forget about meeting up as I can't make any plans at the moment beyond trying to fix this situation."
There's no need to sugar coat it. She has really let you down.

nomas · 14/07/2026 16:44

AlwaysExtraHot · 14/07/2026 16:39

If it's Trusted Housesitters, there's no money involved.

Show quote history

Oh I missed that.

saraclara · 14/07/2026 16:43

I wouldn't go with any of the 'clever' responses. I'd simply make it clear that she's left you in the shit, as you cancelled your dog sitter and that the chances of finding another in society are slim to none.

I'd then point out that you are probably going to have to rethink those few weeks as you're now going to have to look at rescheduling your work trip, so you won't be able to host her.

MerryUmberHedgehog · 14/07/2026 16:43

Tell her she cant stay.

Viviennemary · 14/07/2026 16:41

Don't let her stay the other weeks. Say you've booked a dog sitter even if its not true. Or somebody else is now staying for those weeks. Shame you're both so forgetful. She's a chancer.

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