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AIBU?

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WIBU to withdraw my offer of accommodation after she cancelled dogsitting?

161 replies

Dogshitter · 14/07/2026 14:17

A good friend of mine recently got in touch asking if she could stay with me for a few weeks during August. She has been travelling and can’t move back in to her house until her current tenants have left. As it happens, I needed to find a Dogsitter for one of the weeks when I’m away working. This seemed like the perfect arrangement and I would have been happy to accommodate her as it suited us both. I cancelled my paid booking with my regular dog sitter and informed said friend.

She messaged me late last night saying she’d accidentally double booked and agreed to do a house/dogsit (trusted house sitters or something) during the week I needed her to dogsit. It’s in a location close to an elderly relative of hers so she can spend some quality time there too. She was hugely apologetic but resolute that she couldn’t cancel the other dogsit in favour of helping me.

This has been arranged for almost a month, and I’m now in the situation of having to find paid dogsitting over the bank holiday weekend. It’s not just about the money; my dog is really nervous and not the best fit for many dogsitting situations.

I feel like telling her that she can’t stay for the remaining weeks now that the situation no longer works for me. We agreed this prior to her taking the other booking, and it’s left me in the shit.

WIBU to refuse to let her stay now?

OP posts:
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YourCoralCritic · 19/07/2026 15:47

Inertia · 14/07/2026 15:01

I’d tell her that you now have to reorganise your plans for that month due to dog sitting arrangements so won’t now be able to accommodate her stay.

THIS!

Olive123456 · 19/07/2026 07:59

I feel bad for the paid dog sitter you cancelled on.

js2ht2andl · 18/07/2026 22:48

I would tell her you forgot to tell her the rental price, which is £x per week. Make sure it pays what you would've paid for dogsitting, then let her cancel the additional weeks.

No12worryabout · 18/07/2026 19:34

I have dogs myself and would be really annoyed by this. She is treating your plans with little respect She has let you down badly so it's consequence time. ❤️🐕‍🦺🦮🐕‍🦺

glaciercherry · 18/07/2026 18:43

Two can play that game!! Tell her you’re busy for the entire period now.

BridgetMonica · 18/07/2026 18:08

“Unfortunately another friend watching my dog is staying here a few weeks afterwards. Like you, she has family obligations in the area so I was sure you’d understand.”

99bottlesofkombucha · 17/07/2026 13:55

Dogshitter · 17/07/2026 00:27

No I haven’t, because she hasn’t asked me directly. This is what she said:

“I'm free 6 Sept to 19 Oct... Not sure what to do then But I'll find things, no worries...”

So not a direct request really, is it? She’s just said she’s “free”

I’m sorry, it was tricky enough to manage a guest August with my work, I simply can’t in September, I’d come apart at the seams. I hope you work something out soon.

Shinyandnew1 · 17/07/2026 13:36

Dogshitter · 17/07/2026 00:27

No I haven’t, because she hasn’t asked me directly. This is what she said:

“I'm free 6 Sept to 19 Oct... Not sure what to do then But I'll find things, no worries...”

So not a direct request really, is it? She’s just said she’s “free”

I would reply because she seems rather ditsy and might turn up on your doorstep with all her bags!

’sorry things didn’t work out this time, let’s catch up for a drink at x when you have a free evening’

upsofloating · 17/07/2026 12:34

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:15

Just thumbs up the message and be busy op. I wouldn’t be responding.

I wouldn't even thumbs up.

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:18

I’m sure she is free, to take advantage.

Candleabra · 17/07/2026 12:16

Dogshitter · 17/07/2026 00:27

No I haven’t, because she hasn’t asked me directly. This is what she said:

“I'm free 6 Sept to 19 Oct... Not sure what to do then But I'll find things, no worries...”

So not a direct request really, is it? She’s just said she’s “free”

That’s a massive hint though! Cheeky mare, “free” indeed.

SummerPeonies2026 · 17/07/2026 12:15

Just thumbs up the message and be busy op. I wouldn’t be responding.

drachh · 17/07/2026 00:49

Fair enough. Until she actually asks you outright there is no question to answer. What's the phrase? Don't hear what she didn't say.

Dogshitter · 17/07/2026 00:27

Shinyandnew1 · 16/07/2026 19:40

Good for you. Have you told her no?

No I haven’t, because she hasn’t asked me directly. This is what she said:

“I'm free 6 Sept to 19 Oct... Not sure what to do then But I'll find things, no worries...”

So not a direct request really, is it? She’s just said she’s “free”

OP posts:
Dogshitter · 17/07/2026 00:22

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 16/07/2026 21:33

Just tell her you've accidentally double booked sorry she can't stay any longer and say goodness I can't believe we've both done it

Love your username!

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Rondayvu · 16/07/2026 22:34

The site you mention about trusted and housesitters is a worldwide thing and a great opportunity for people who have the want and time to travel but not the money. You pay to be on the site and you get offered a free home when it comes up. I read through and assumed you were actually advertising them from your first post but the rest just seems like you think shes just been silly and 'only remembered' another gig when in fact she possibly just got the offer of something better as is the norm on there and shes dumped you for somewhere she really wants to be. Shit friend but good site - I use the petsitters sister version of it.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 16/07/2026 21:33

Just tell her you've accidentally double booked sorry she can't stay any longer and say goodness I can't believe we've both done it

SummerPeonies2026 · 16/07/2026 21:22

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 18:39

@TheBlueKoala @BabyBump1212 You’re both right. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I am very fond of this friend, but she can be chaotic and has a tendency to fall out with people. It’s no small thing to offer someone a place to stay in exchange for some dogsitting. She’s homeless, albeit temporarily through her own choice (to go travelling) so presumably has income to pay for accommodation elsewhere. I have decided that my place is now off limits to guests UFN.

Edited

Going ahead would probably breed resentment and tension op. The friendship stands a better chance of surviving if you don’t host. It might be the case that as time passes, it’s just forgotten but she won’t forget your boundaries. And is unlikely to let you down again or face the consequences.

Hold the friendship lightly if you can be bothered to deal with her. I wouldn’t be a fan - can’t stand CFs, even entertaining ones.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/07/2026 19:40

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 18:39

@TheBlueKoala @BabyBump1212 You’re both right. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I am very fond of this friend, but she can be chaotic and has a tendency to fall out with people. It’s no small thing to offer someone a place to stay in exchange for some dogsitting. She’s homeless, albeit temporarily through her own choice (to go travelling) so presumably has income to pay for accommodation elsewhere. I have decided that my place is now off limits to guests UFN.

Edited

Good for you. Have you told her no?

TheBlueKoala · 16/07/2026 18:43

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 18:39

@TheBlueKoala @BabyBump1212 You’re both right. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I am very fond of this friend, but she can be chaotic and has a tendency to fall out with people. It’s no small thing to offer someone a place to stay in exchange for some dogsitting. She’s homeless, albeit temporarily through her own choice (to go travelling) so presumably has income to pay for accommodation elsewhere. I have decided that my place is now off limits to guests UFN.

Edited

Well done! Save your generosity for those who respect you 🩷

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 18:43

DJPJ · 15/07/2026 09:22

Im just here for your user name @Dogshitter

Yeah, it’s a sad fact that however distressed I am I can always pull a terrible pun out of my arse 😂

OP posts:
Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 18:39

@TheBlueKoala @BabyBump1212 You’re both right. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I am very fond of this friend, but she can be chaotic and has a tendency to fall out with people. It’s no small thing to offer someone a place to stay in exchange for some dogsitting. She’s homeless, albeit temporarily through her own choice (to go travelling) so presumably has income to pay for accommodation elsewhere. I have decided that my place is now off limits to guests UFN.

OP posts:
BabyBump1212 · 16/07/2026 07:31

TheBlueKoala · 16/07/2026 05:56

But it's not fine though is it? Would you have done something like that to a friend? No. So it's not fine. Don't be a door mat because people will walk all over you.

Agreed.
I wouldn't want someone with such a shocking memory (and a possible drink problem) to look after my dog and stay at my property anyway. She's probably done you a big favour 😔

TheBlueKoala · 16/07/2026 05:56

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 00:18

I’m starting to see that she made a conscious decision that letting me down was worth a better offer. That’s fine, but it will definitely influence any future generosity on my part

But it's not fine though is it? Would you have done something like that to a friend? No. So it's not fine. Don't be a door mat because people will walk all over you.

Dogshitter · 16/07/2026 00:18

Ruffledduck1 · 15/07/2026 15:07

I've been used in the past. I've got a harder shell now.
Forgiveness is a luxury some people don't deserve.

I’m starting to see that she made a conscious decision that letting me down was worth a better offer. That’s fine, but it will definitely influence any future generosity on my part

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