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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be put off after he poured wine on the floor?

466 replies

Magnesiun · 14/07/2026 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 15/07/2026 19:48

Shitty behaviour to waiting staff is a huge red flag for me. 🚩 What a dickhead!

Shotokan101 · 15/07/2026 19:45

I wouldn’t even be asking such a stupid question here or anywhere......

Ladygardenerinderby · 15/07/2026 19:45

Sounds like an animal , huge red flag don’t walk run

thehistorymum · 15/07/2026 19:40

I’d be absolutely done with him….

Hiyaeveryone · 15/07/2026 19:37

You don't need Mumsnet to tell you the answer - your own body is telling you!

Canonlythinkofthisone · 15/07/2026 19:35

It's a fu*ng red banner never mind a red flag!

Saddaughter999 · 15/07/2026 19:32

Narcissist. Imagine what he would do with you when angry, tired, upset.

tommyhoundmum · 15/07/2026 19:23

Magnesiun · 14/07/2026 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

Careful. The next one might be over you.

YowieeF · 15/07/2026 19:15

Do you need a bigger red flag?

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 15/07/2026 19:12

As someone who works in food service I'd have been so pissed off and we're not even allowed to ask them to clean it up themselves.

Fromthestart · 15/07/2026 19:09

Nope that is some entitled behaviour that shows little empathy or thought for others. Be very careful here

pouletvous · 15/07/2026 19:01

You dont owe him an explanation

delete, block, move on

PinotandPray · 15/07/2026 19:00

Magnesiun · 14/07/2026 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

That’s so grim I’d deff not be having a third date

queensonia · 15/07/2026 19:00

This is actually classic emotionally abusive behaviour. He is deliberately embarrassing you in public and expecting you to condone it.

nocoolnamesleft · 15/07/2026 18:58

Total ick. He thought it was funny to make work for poorly paid waiting staff. And that's in the context of early days, when most people would still be on their best behaviour.

Strawberry53 · 15/07/2026 18:55

I do believe you but this almost sounds made up because it’s such an unhinged thing to do. Block and do not go on another date! How on earth is that remotely funny.

Sunshine231 · 15/07/2026 18:48

Just when I think I can’t hear any worse stories about men… wtaf 😳 someone mentioned toddler behaviour but even my toddler wouldn’t do this, at least not without expecting some kind of consequence which it seems this bloke did not: “still on that…” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Nicewoman · 15/07/2026 18:44

He’s a coward. Instead of fronting up he is teetotal, he wastes money on a drink and then pours it on the floor. I’ve seen men (and women) do this at friends houses and throw meat on the floor as they don’t have the guts to admit they don’t eat meat or drink alcohol.

His next move would be tipping red wine on your best friends cream wool carpet as he can’t drink wine and too cowardly to admit this, whilst “laughing it off”.

BeddysMum · 15/07/2026 18:43

That's an overgrown toddler right there. Run for the hills! 🚩🚩🚩

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 15/07/2026 18:38

As everyone else has said

Bilboben · 15/07/2026 18:37

He is dangerous. Dump!

2old2Nonsense · 15/07/2026 18:33

Not even a question. That behaviour is not excusable. Move on. Let his therapist deal with him.

mambojambodothetango · 15/07/2026 18:32

He sounds like a psychopath

AmazingGreatAunt · 15/07/2026 18:30

Bad manners. If you do not like something, just leave it. Whether that is on the side of the plate or in the glass.
How did he hold his knife?

Pedallleur · 15/07/2026 18:27

Bluedenimdoglover · 15/07/2026 13:45

If that's how he behaves in public, what on earth is he like in private......?

Hopefully the OP won't be finding out because she will have binned him. Good news is he revealed his self early in the relationship

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