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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be put off after he poured wine on the floor?

466 replies

Magnesiun · 14/07/2026 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

OP posts:
purplepie1 · 14/07/2026 17:36

Dump him.

he was disrespectful

he caused a slip hazard and could have caused someone a serious injury.

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 14/07/2026 17:35

Bin him and find someone civilised.

FelixRyark · 14/07/2026 17:31

Sounds like toddler behaviour or that of an older person who is drifting towards a dementia diagnosis. If the person is supposedly fully functioning, it is appalling behaviour towards the restaurant staff. How dare he!

I personally, would not go on another date with this person.

YellowMellow99 · 14/07/2026 17:26

Frostynoman · 14/07/2026 14:05

Juvenile and lacking respect. Also feels slightly aggressive. It would put me off

You put it perfectly!
I’d definitely dump him!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/07/2026 17:20

Puerile idiot. Straight in the bin.

ilikeeggs · 14/07/2026 17:19

Jesus who does that?! So he just expected the staff to clean it up? I definitely wouldn’t go on another date with someone like that

Amira83 · 14/07/2026 17:16

It would put me off. Im not into that type of person. Saying 'Still on that's would just put me off even more. But I think I am fussy about ppl.

Carodebalo · 14/07/2026 17:14

You are not unreasonable and no to a third date. How uncivilised!

researchers3 · 14/07/2026 17:14

LovesLabradors · 14/07/2026 14:07

Yeah that would put me right off - it shows a lack of respect, and sooner or later that lack of respect would be shown to you.

Agreed! And given that this was his 2nd date 'best' behaviour, I think sooner rather than later!

pimplebum · 14/07/2026 17:14

I would be curious and have to ask if previous dates laughed?

did he tip the waitress ?
was it a moment of madness or a regular tactic ?

Blueblell · 14/07/2026 17:13

On the grass - wouldn’t bother me but you mention the waitress and a puddle so presumably we are talking inside. That would be the end of things because if he is doing that on a second date then who knows where it could all lead when you really get to know him. Best case scenario he is just a twat but the worst case scenario could be more serious!

MajorProcrastination · 14/07/2026 17:13

Rude and childish and disrespectful of the waiting staff. Actually, I take back the childish descriptor as none of my children would have done that. Bin him.

Nofeckingway · 14/07/2026 17:08

Things to judge a person by is how they treat their mother and how they treat waiting staff. He lost .

Maddy70 · 14/07/2026 17:08

I would have got up and left. That's disgusting

Nopersbro · 14/07/2026 17:07

Given that he got through a whole first date without incident and he didn't just pour the wine out like he somehow didn't know it wasn't acceptable but instead hammed it up and performed, this isn't some innate shortcoming on his part. He either thinks he's a super clever and witty edge lord, or he's trying to get a reaction from you. Basically, he's not mature enough to be dating.

Zero time for that, so I'd just tell him you don't want to continue contact with him, and if he persists, have no second thoughts about blocking.

motherhoodisntfortheweak · 14/07/2026 17:06

What a savage

Sidebeforeself · 14/07/2026 17:06

Annual fiction writing competition is that way 👉

erasemybrain · 14/07/2026 17:05

Omg my fat fingers accidentally voted that you were being unreasonable and I can’t undo it! I ruined a perfect 100% Wheh someone shows you who they are believe them! Run!

Dalston · 14/07/2026 17:05

Magnesiun · 14/07/2026 14:04

2nd date, sat in restaurant and we each had a glass of wine. He commented that he wasn’t keen on the wine and said he’d get a soft drink next time. I finished my drink and he had half of his glass left so I said I was going to get another drink and did he want to get a soft drink now or was he going to finish his wine. He picked up the glass, tipped the wine onto the floor (!!!!!!) and said “finished” and laughed. Several people saw him do it. I was mortified and said “did you really just tip that onto the floor??” And he acted like he was a bit embarrassed but laughed and said he didn’t like it. Waitress came across, noticed the puddle on the floor and he laughed and said “sorry about that” whilst looking at me like he was expecting me to laugh.

after the date he messaged me saying he’d had a good time and asked if I had and I replied “I’m still processing the sight of someone purposely spilling half a glass of wine onto a restaurant floor….” And he replied “still on that? Seriously? 😂”

am I over reacting?? It’s really put me off

Major red flag 🚩 Don’t see him again. That little display was just for starters.

JosephineCornwall · 14/07/2026 17:04

Absolute narcissistic personality disorder behaviours right there!

Mum2Fergus · 14/07/2026 17:03

AIBU to be put off after he poured wine on floor?

Do you really need to ask?

IsitaHatOrACat · 14/07/2026 17:02

I declined a second date after a bloke put his rubbish in someone's bicycle basket parked up next to the bench we were sat on.

It's about respect and your date clearly doesn't have any.
keep your standards OP

BippidyBoppety · 14/07/2026 17:02

Please tell him why it's a big NO. Don't be vague or dismissive of his vile behaviour.

Can you imagine what his home is like? Yugh!

Lookingdownthebarrell · 14/07/2026 17:02

I’d just drop by blocking him, no further explantation needed. Be glad he showed himself on the second date and believe him.

Curious to know is that really a question or are you venting?

BauhausOfEliott · 14/07/2026 17:01

BillieWiper · 14/07/2026 16:20

I literally think that someone pouring their wine on the floor does sound like someone in psychosis. Though he clearly wasn't as with hindsight he has complete recollection and no remorse.

I don't know why you think Jedi are necessarily involved?

Have you ever been present when someone is suffering acute psychosis before?

It really doesn't sound at all like psychosis to me, having experienced being around people in that state.

It sounds like the sort of person who thinks he's a hilarious joker and loves attention. He thinks he's funny. He probably loves 'pranks' that embarrass or scare other people. He probably considers himself life and soul of the party. He probably says things like 'Haha, what am I like? I'm mad, me!' and thinks people will find him entertaining. He thinks doing 'unpredictable' or outrageous things is a substitute for a personality. If he was at a girlfriend's birthday party, he'd definitely shove a slice of cake in her face and then tell her she had no sense of humour when she was upset.

He probably starts stripping off at a wedding disco when the DJ plays You Sexy Thing. He probably says 'While you're down there, eh love?' whenever a woman bends down near him to pick something up. He probably wears fancy dress outfits to football matches.

When he was at school he would have been that one kid in the class who is so desperate for attention that he'd rather have negative attention than none at all, so he'd wind people up until they thumped him and then he'd whine about it.