Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

You "feel for" OP's child because she doesn't owe a stranger access to her son?

Wtf have I just read.

If you don't like it you have every right to tell her no.

When mine were little it was still very common for older people to press a coin into the hands of babies and toddlers. It kept me in wine for a good couple of years.

My brother killed himself because of what my grandmother did to him and the attitude of people like you. He tried to speak up. He tried to do the right thing and get support and therapy. No one believed him because ‘that’s not what sweet grannies do’ or ‘it can’t have been that bad, you’re being silly’. He saw no other way out.

MOST grandmothers are lovely, but my brother is dead because people don’t believe that not all elderly women are and it’s impossible they can be monsters too.

All I am asking is that people maybe take a minute to consider that it’s not something to joke about and just because you’ve always met lovely kind women that maybe not everyone had the same experience - I don’t have my brother here today because of this attitude.

I’m done with this thread now. You all go and defend this woman, she’s obviously fine and you’d be happy to leave your child alone with her. And of course, haha, let’s laugh at everyone suggesting it could be anything sinister because that can’t ever happen.

Well its obvious why you have issues!

'I don't owe a stranger access to my child', bloody hell you really do have a problem, I feel for your child, hopefully you wont transfer your insecurities to them.

Well this is bollocks.

My son goes to nursery and on the majority of accident reports the "first aid administered" section references "...and lots of cuddles." When I collected him today he gave his key worker a cuddle, as he does every nursery day.

Your friends setting might have some odd rules, but it's disingenuous to imply this is a general rule across all settings and it's not my experience or the experience of any of my friends.

It's truly bizarre that posters are bending over backwards to defend a woman's right to touch a child she a) doesn't know and b) has been told not to touch by the parent. I can only assume the ageism signal was triggered at the mention of "old woman" since everyone is piling on with the same old tropes about villages, silver coins and modern parenting myths. All because a mum doesn't want a stranger touching her child (and neither does the child, not that that seems to matter to anyone).

Do you not get the irony of you judging the behaviour of someone you had a face to face conversation with, and then going online!? Hilarious.

All these grannies who are pedos. Who woulda thunk. Beware of the grannies!

Likewise to you. I know most abusers are men and it’s exceedingly unlikely a random elderly woman is looking to hurt a child, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t happen. Every time I drive I don’t crash my car, but I’m still going to wear my seat belt every time I drive.

Clearly though she’s just an old woman so it’s innocent and we’re monsters for thinking otherwise. Even if this is the exact attitude that allowed my grandmother to get away with what she did - so many people told me I was lucky to have such an attentive, sweet and caring grandparent.

Would the people on this thread really rather protect the feelings of a woman who repeatedly crossed very clear boundaries with very clear instructions to stop, over protecting your child and having to explain why you let an abuser get access to them and hurt them?

Does the OP live in Italy?

This is a very common thing to do by the elderly especially in countries like Italy. She’s probably lonely. Don’t be stressed by it.

mmm somebody's bonkers🙄

What a bizarre post. But given what a friend told me who works with infants I can see how this sad state of affairs comes about. If an infant falls over in the playground you just have to leave them until they get up on their own. Not allowed to help them up or comfort them in case you are accused of being a pervert.

No she's not.

They treat me very well, because I am a kind person. I respect others' boundaries but am also not a pushover. I also have to wonder if these old women are all so lonely, is it not because they have pushed people away!?

Oh get a grip! People like you give their children issues!!!

So was April. He was her step uncle I think. 😔

I despair at the stuff I read on here , you're being cruel OP

I can’t help but wonder how people treat you in real life, @BettyJoanPerske ?
You don’t come across particularly well on here.

Also, Holly and Jessica were killed by someone known to them through school not a stranger. Most murder and SA is not perpetrated by strangers.

Personally sounds like a lovely old lonely lady - I can’t see the harm and she probably gets joy out of seeing your son . It’s up to you if you feel uncomfortable but for me it wouldn’t make me feel that way x

You should treat people based on how they present and what sense they give you, not just based on their sex. That's an unpopular opinion on here, but it's the stone cold truth.