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AIBU?

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Original poster

Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

665 replies

housinghun · 14/07/2026 11:04

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 11:07

SerafinasGoose · 15/07/2026 10:53

This post is pure MN at its most batshit.

It's a parenting discussion forum. This is a thread about a parenting question. Concern as to harming the 'innocents' is hardly misplaced when there are few identifying details and both the OP and the subject of her post are entirely anonymous. Not exactly defamation, is it?

OP is concerned about specifics of one individual's behaviour. There is no 'conspiracy frenzy'. Could you be any more hyperbolic?

Show quote history

OP clearly states she has been discussing this woman in her community with other parents and pursuing her "weirdness" agenda

Anonymous??

Contrarymary30 · 15/07/2026 11:04

Fgs ! I despair. When did all this precious behaviour start . Get a grip OP.

SerafinasGoose · 15/07/2026 10:53

Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:33

Oh now

This is how innocent people are harmed.

This lady has done nothing wrong and you are whipping up a conspiracy frenzy about her.

Don't you care what kind of world your child grows into? You are unnecessarily cruel.

Show quote history

This post is pure MN at its most batshit.

It's a parenting discussion forum. This is a thread about a parenting question. Concern as to harming the 'innocents' is hardly misplaced when there are few identifying details and both the OP and the subject of her post are entirely anonymous. Not exactly defamation, is it?

OP is concerned about specifics of one individual's behaviour. There is no 'conspiracy frenzy'. Could you be any more hyperbolic?

Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:49

Just to say vulnerability and safeguarding isn't just for the young in our society

Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:48

housinghun · 15/07/2026 10:44

@Anyahyacinth
Im cruel because I don't want a random person touching and hugging my child?

Nobody is actual to answering my question.

WOULD ANY OF YOU BE OK WITH A STRANGER COMING UP TO YOU IN THE STREET AND DOING THE FOLLOWING:?

Removing your sun hat to "see your face?"
Touching your hands
Hugging you?

I don't think any of you would, but a 2 year old has to be subjected to this?

Na fuck off.

I've experienced all of those in a friendly way and wasn't harmed...some in a church cafe. Noone thought it was weird and I didn't have my protector with me (my lovely Mum)
You have easy solutions to this that avoid whipping up outrage and creating community harm to an innocent person...who in all likelihood is terribly lonely.

I do think you are being cruel in your judgements and inaction

Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:44

OP instead of whipping up community hate for an old lady...how about buying one of these books and talking to her about it..showing her or giving it to her and say ..you want to be friendly but also want to protect your child.

Community gossiping about someone being "weird" is just nasty

Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable
Original poster
housinghun · 15/07/2026 10:44

@Anyahyacinth
Im cruel because I don't want a random person touching and hugging my child?

Nobody is actual to answering my question.

WOULD ANY OF YOU BE OK WITH A STRANGER COMING UP TO YOU IN THE STREET AND DOING THE FOLLOWING:?

Removing your sun hat to "see your face?"
Touching your hands
Hugging you?

I don't think any of you would, but a 2 year old has to be subjected to this?

Na fuck off.

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:36

BeRealOpalWasp · 15/07/2026 10:34

I don't follow. I wouldn't have been comfortable with a stranger asking to hug my 4yo when he was 2 either (and neither would he).

Edited
Show quote history

Then all you say is "stranger danger" and don't permit it. Easy.. Then talk to the lady

BeRealOpalWasp · 15/07/2026 10:34

EagerPlayer · 15/07/2026 10:09

It’s the op who spoke about medical professionals.
Theres a big difference in the understanding of a 2 v a 4 year old.
and of course teach them to be wary -as I said!

Show quote history

I don't follow. I wouldn't have been comfortable with a stranger asking to hug my 4yo when he was 2 either (and neither would he).

Anyahyacinth · 15/07/2026 10:33

housinghun · 14/07/2026 18:33

@KilkennyCats Don't you watch the news?
Young kids murdered by strangers.

April Jones, James Bulger, Holly Wells, Jessica Chapman, Sarah Payne, Milly Dowler.

Im not saying for one minute this lady has ill intentions but I don't want my son getting used to talking/touching strangers on the street.

OH dosent like it either and he's quite laid back.

Other parents round here find her quite strange and are uncomfortable with her touching their kids

Oh now

This is how innocent people are harmed.

This lady has done nothing wrong and you are whipping up a conspiracy frenzy about her.

Don't you care what kind of world your child grows into? You are unnecessarily cruel.

Rachelshair · 15/07/2026 10:18

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:33

For the 100th time I don't want my son being forced to into a hug by a random woman.

Her chasing my son and OH down the street isn't normal.

I agree 100%. Some very odd replies here. If you're uneasy, you should absolutely be wary. You don't need permission from anyone.

Tourmalines · 15/07/2026 10:16

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:59

@Tourmalines is that all you got lol? You sound like one of those football hooligans 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Match time isn't on until tonight mate lol

I also asked you if would be OK with a random person all up on your face?
Removing your sun hat to "see your face"?
To try and hug you?
To hold your hand?

Are all these things acceptable for someone to do to you in the street?

I don't think so lol

Do the woman a favour and cross the road , she’s better off ! 🤣🤣

chedderland · 15/07/2026 10:14

Pfb by any chance?

EagerPlayer · 15/07/2026 10:09

BeRealOpalWasp · 15/07/2026 10:04

The best interests for your child are for you to raise them to not be afraid of strangers - eg nurses, doctors etc. as you have already mentioned.

It's actually very sensible to ensure your young child has caution around strangers. Teaching them it's OK to accept cuddles from strangers sends a very mixed message. Besides, my 4yo son would not want to hug a stranger anyway. Surely he has a choice in that.

Also, comparing a random woman to a medical professional is completely disingenuous.

It’s the op who spoke about medical professionals.
Theres a big difference in the understanding of a 2 v a 4 year old.
and of course teach them to be wary -as I said!

BeRealOpalWasp · 15/07/2026 10:04

The best interests for your child are for you to raise them to not be afraid of strangers - eg nurses, doctors etc. as you have already mentioned.

It's actually very sensible to ensure your young child has caution around strangers. Teaching them it's OK to accept cuddles from strangers sends a very mixed message. Besides, my 4yo son would not want to hug a stranger anyway. Surely he has a choice in that.

Also, comparing a random woman to a medical professional is completely disingenuous.

Original poster
housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:59

@Tourmalines is that all you got lol? You sound like one of those football hooligans 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Match time isn't on until tonight mate lol

I also asked you if would be OK with a random person all up on your face?
Removing your sun hat to "see your face"?
To try and hug you?
To hold your hand?

Are all these things acceptable for someone to do to you in the street?

I don't think so lol

OP posts:
friedaklein · 15/07/2026 09:58

EagerPlayer · 15/07/2026 09:55

Now you’re changing the narrative to try to justify your paranoia.
Youve gone from saying ‘hello and tilting his hat to see his face’, to having a hug .
and ‘running out of the house’ to ‘chasing my OH down the road’ 🙄

Show quote history

Actually OP has now added that the woman asked her where she lived and other searching questions of a personal nature.

Drip drip drip.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 15/07/2026 09:58

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:33

For the 100th time I don't want my son being forced to into a hug by a random woman.

Her chasing my son and OH down the street isn't normal.

"Chasing" 😂

Tourmalines · 15/07/2026 09:56

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:50

@Tourmalines you sound very miserable in your life to keep coming at me the way you do lol.

Would it be OK for a woman to come and grab your hand and kiss you? Would you like that?

Im not replying here anymore as usual the keyboard warriors out in force with their rude and nasty comments.

You can’t answer the chasing bit, hmmm , ok . I’ve responded to you twice to ask logical questions. Is that supposed to make me miserable, lol . Ok . If that’s all you got .

KaleidoscopeSmile · 15/07/2026 09:56

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 17:06

That's a cultural difference. I am tired of people on this thread bringing in examples from a different era or a different culture and comparing like for like. It is highly disingenuous.

Show quote history

Hang on a minute, we're always hearing on countless MN threads how well behaved and amazing all kids are in Italy and everywhere else in Europe compared to - apparently - badly behaved and obnoxious British kids. Comparing other western cultures is therefore clearly perfectly acceptable generally.

It is in this case and whether or not you're "tired" of it is irrelevant.

EagerPlayer · 15/07/2026 09:55

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:33

For the 100th time I don't want my son being forced to into a hug by a random woman.

Her chasing my son and OH down the street isn't normal.

Now you’re changing the narrative to try to justify your paranoia.
Youve gone from saying ‘hello and tilting his hat to see his face’, to having a hug .
and ‘running out of the house’ to ‘chasing my OH down the road’ 🙄

Original poster
housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:52

I'm done with this thread and having to keep explaining myself and idiots keep trying to berate me and talk to me like I'm weird or something.

As usual the miserable keyboard warriors ruin it.

OP posts:
Original poster
housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:50

@Tourmalines you sound very miserable in your life to keep coming at me the way you do lol.

Would it be OK for a woman to come and grab your hand and kiss you? Would you like that?

Im not replying here anymore as usual the keyboard warriors out in force with their rude and nasty comments.

OP posts:
Tourmalines · 15/07/2026 09:46

housinghun · 15/07/2026 09:33

For the 100th time I don't want my son being forced to into a hug by a random woman.

Her chasing my son and OH down the street isn't normal.

Oh ok , so now she was CHASING them down the street , but your post clearly said she ran out of her house to say hello and by that time your husband and son were gone down the road .

Sartre · 15/07/2026 09:37

housinghun · 14/07/2026 18:33

@KilkennyCats Don't you watch the news?
Young kids murdered by strangers.

April Jones, James Bulger, Holly Wells, Jessica Chapman, Sarah Payne, Milly Dowler.

Im not saying for one minute this lady has ill intentions but I don't want my son getting used to talking/touching strangers on the street.

OH dosent like it either and he's quite laid back.

Other parents round here find her quite strange and are uncomfortable with her touching their kids

Those children were killed many years ago and not all by strangers, Holly and Jessica knew their killer. I actually had this discussion with my DH a few days ago. Children (thankfully) don’t seem to get abducted and murdered much anymore. I remember all of those cases well because I was a child when they happened and my Gran in particular was terrified something like that would happen to me so drove anxiety into me. It doesn’t happen anymore, I guess because children are inside on iPads.