Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

Dear god, how can you compare the two.

Maybe she is a tactile person.
Some of us adore children and like to smile.
Why can people not touch him? Buy some wipes.
Christ the worlds gone weird.

just explain you are trying to teach him about stranger danger & not letting people he is unfamiliar with touching him. She obviously has some respect for you & your child otherwise she wouldn't have asked if she could say hello in the first place

I live near a truly old lady (well into her middle-nineties). She's a bit of a character and loves standing in her forecourt talking to passers by.

Her current obsession is putting water out for dogs as we have a lot of dog walkers accessing the nearby park ~ she's forever changing the water in case it gets too warm and yesterday mentioned that she's getting through quite a lot of ice cubes to keep the water cool

She loves little children and will always say something kind to any parents with little ones, usually along the lines of "I remember when my little boys used to like going to the park" Her eldest DS is in his early 70's!

She's so well known in this area and people will check on her if she isn't out & about for a few days. After she had a fall last winter she was inundated with neighbours offering help with shopping, cooking and housework. Her next door neighbour puts her bins out for her and I think several other neighbours help out when there are things she can no longer manage

That's what community is all about and we should all be part of it. A smile and a few friendly words can go a long way . . .

I can’t get past apparently being in OP’s Old Lady parameter ( I’m 62 and this has made me laugh).

Me too, I'm 62 also and feel quite offended to be classed as an 'old lady'.

66/67 is now the retirement age isn't it? All those poor 'old ladies' still grafting! 😏

When DD was tiny, I lived in Tokyo. Old ladies would give her sweets and tiny plastic toys as babies are quite rare there. And touch her hand or hair, or coo over her.

It was lovely. I still have some of the toys.

Don't see the issue, unless he felt upset or was made uncomfortable by it? Which i'm guessing at that age he wasn't.People are so unfriendly nowadays but that was not the case in this lady's generation and she doesn't seem to have done anything particularly overly intrusive, maybe she just likes children.

It is sad that being tactile or affectionate seems to have got confused with the whole body autonomy thing, and I don't think all the covid social distancing helped either.

The bad guys spoilt life for everyone, and we all end up deeply suspicious of each other.

“You don’t owe her politeness”

I suppose that’s one way of navigating the world. As long as you are happy to reap what you sow and don’t expect politeness from others either 🤷‍♀️ Wouldn’t be my choice of attitude for a pleasant and happy life, but there we go, we’re all different aren’t we.

OP, I think it’s fine to ask her not to touch your toddler (I suggest politely).

We really get the society we deserve… god help us. Imagine being so upset about this?

Amused by someone in their sixties being called a “lonely old lady”.. I’m in my sixties, I have a teenage dd still at home and an older dd at uni.
One of the joys for me of having tiny children was all the lovely people who would come and talk to them. The African women who worked in my nearest Tesco would squeeze their cheeks, as did the lovely elderly Italian man who lived nearby. The Turkish man in the shop would give them sweets and ruffle their hair. There was a sixty something local woman who would press a coin for luck into their little hands. I grew up in a time and place when this was normal and nice. Seems so sad to me to find this weird, and a woman in her sixties or early seventies being accused of having dementia (!!) just because she likes small children.
I like small children, I talk to them when out and about, I always have done. Now it seems people will think I have dementia..

Laughed over this, how true! Esp the annoying bit :-)

I agree. The world has gone mad.

Don’t worry in a few years time people will ignore you child and then they are seen as annoying

These interactions that ds had as a baby/toddler were moments of the loveliest in human interactions you have in life with strangers the innocence of the child the joy of an adult just seeing a child smile it’s something we should celebrate not get grumpy or suspicious about

Is 60’s now considered an ‘old lady’? I’m in my 40s and I find that a tad depressing.

This is the most MN thread ever.
Next: how to disinfect your kids after strangers touch them by dowsing them in sheep dip or similar.

Yes I suppose I was assuming quite a lot but that's all one can do with the information at hand. It is possible that she's lonely, especially as she's waving from the window at a passing toddler, so not a completely "out there" theory. Perhaps I should've mentioned that I'm actually 70 and a widow myself. But babies and toddlers don't particularly float my boat. Dogs on the other hand I can't resist.

I agree with this. I fit the demographic of the old lady here but I am a natural introvert so 1) I wouldn't consider interrupting your kids day (and even if I was an extrovert, I think it's disrespectful) and 2) I wish my Mum had been like you. I hated physical interaction with adults when I was a kid. I was getting kissed and hugged by people (mostly family) and I used to panic when meeting people because I knew I had to accept being touched and kissed when the interaction was at an end.

I have also had cold sores all my life that I probably caught from this.

You’ve diagnosed a complete stranger on the internet. Madness.

Your being completely unreasonable. She's not trying to lure him away. She's probably lonely and being friendly. If it doesn't work for you fine, but no need to imply it's an assault. That's bonkers.

As is usual on MN, why is her age relevant? Ageism showing again.

She’s just being friendly, perhaps she’s lonely. And 60’ish is not elderly🙄

Who said anything about daycare🙄i was responding to your statement about how responses would be different if it was an elderly man approaching OP and her baby instead of an elderly woman!!

Neither would I. But I have plenty of other human contact in my life, including with small children. Perhaps the old lady in question doesn’t.

Absolutely! Or " I wish we were more like traditional cultures where mums are supported".