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AIBU?

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Original poster

Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

665 replies

housinghun · 14/07/2026 11:04

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

OP posts:
Theresmagicwheretheflowersgrow · 14/07/2026 12:42

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 11:27

Exactly. Also, what's the betting that the answers would be VERY different if it was an old man rather than an old woman.

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Nonsense. When my son was little I took him on the bus regularly. There was often an old man on the same bus who would sit and chat to him and occasionally gave him a piece of fruit from his shopping bag. My son loved this interaction and it was good for him.
Children need to be socialised which is your job OP, as much as it is your job to keep him safe from people who may want to harm him. He is not in any danger when he's with you.

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 12:41

Rachelshair · 14/07/2026 12:39

Err.. this woman is giving OP the creeps for good reason. Just because someone is female and over 60 doesn't mean they are harmless.

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Indeed. We're clearly in a minority though.

LaliqueSaltGrinder · 14/07/2026 12:41

AnonymityAnonymity · 14/07/2026 12:19

And your point is?.
Or are you just mocking for the sake of it?

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My point is that posters are quick to diagnose dementia in anyone over the age of about 50, whether they are acting oddly or not.

It's boring and lazy.

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 12:40

Catpuss66 · 14/07/2026 12:35

What does she owe her rudeness? Where is kindness in all of this? Your morals need checking. In light of Ann Widdecombe’s death you are not teaching any children you have kindness & respect.

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WTF does this have to do with Ann Widdecome!? Good lord. Also, people on this thread can't have it both ways. The ones moaning that 60s isn't old don't square with the ones saying she is a lonely old soul with dementia.

SleepQuest33 · 14/07/2026 12:40

What a lonely world we now live in, so sad.

CustardySergeant · 14/07/2026 12:40

FrenchandSaunders · 14/07/2026 12:37

Blimey OP, a bit of kindness and compassion wouldn't go amiss.

You'd have freaked at the old lady I bumped into in a supermarket years ago ... she took my DDs ice cream out of her hand and licked it 😁

WTF? How did you react to that?

GrievanceList · 14/07/2026 12:40

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 11:16

These comments are insane. You don't owe this woman politeness, I would blank her next time.

Actually you do owe people politeness. That is how society works. It was some older woman chatting to a toddler. Not a gun-toting maniac where you possible can hold off on the politeness.

Nobody I know, thinks like this.

Chenecinquantecinq · 14/07/2026 12:40

We really have lost any shred of community we may have had left haven't we 🙁

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/07/2026 12:40

FrenchandSaunders · 14/07/2026 12:37

Blimey OP, a bit of kindness and compassion wouldn't go amiss.

You'd have freaked at the old lady I bumped into in a supermarket years ago ... she took my DDs ice cream out of her hand and licked it 😁

I might have drawn the line at that 🤣.

muddyford · 14/07/2026 12:40

Catpuss66 · 14/07/2026 12:39

Thought it was just me.

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And me! I'm 63.

SooPanda · 14/07/2026 12:39

housinghun · 14/07/2026 11:09

Yes I get that but there is no need to touch him.
I would never dream of walking up to a baby or toddler and start touching them.

If a man did this to a woman it would be called assault so why is it OK for someone to do this to a child?

I’m not sure taking a hat off counts as assault

Catpuss66 · 14/07/2026 12:39

youngwhippersnapper · 14/07/2026 11:28

I can’t get past apparently being in OP’s Old Lady parameter ( I’m 62 and this has made me laugh).

Thought it was just me.

Rachelshair · 14/07/2026 12:39

rainbowunicorn · 14/07/2026 12:27

Possibly the most ridiculous reply yet.

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Err.. this woman is giving OP the creeps for good reason. Just because someone is female and over 60 doesn't mean they are harmless.

LostThestral · 14/07/2026 12:38

MightyDandelionEsq · 14/07/2026 12:26

Just because someone is elderly or female (if it was a male the response would be wholly different) means they can touch others or others children without consent.

I don’t care if it’s seen as nice by some, you ask first and if a Mother is uncomfortable then that Mother is well within her right to say no irrespective of if people think she’s over bearing. Not your kid.

I used to get really annoyed at elderly people sticking their head in my pram with my newborn or touching my bump without asking when I was pregnant. I found it intrusive and I don’t care if that’s ‘mean’. If that elderly person was a 20 year old stranger it’d be weird, just because you’ve aged doesn’t make it any less weird.

but she did ask in the first instance

Yogabearmous · 14/07/2026 12:38

She sounds like she means well but no I wouldn’t like it
I teach my children to be wary of strangers and this would go against that by allowing a stranger to hug them.
I think a nice hello and then off we go, no hugs today as we don’t hug people outside the family. End of. Be polite and kind but move off to avoid an issue

MightyDandelionEsq · 14/07/2026 12:38

Gloriia · 14/07/2026 12:27

Are you an anxious person generally op, might be an idea to see your gp and ask if any talking therapies/cbt available? In the meantime cross the road and take a different route but do own the issue, this is you being overly anxious not a friendly lady talking to your dc that is the issue.

A woman having boundaries is not always necessarily anxiety.

Her DH strolled off and ignored the woman as most males would if they don’t want to socialise. As women we are pressured societally to be nice and polite, even if we have a nagging gut instinct and are uncomfortable.

friedaklein · 14/07/2026 12:38

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/07/2026 12:36

This also used to happen in SE London in the early 80s .

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That's so sweet, honestly.

TheThirteenthFairy · 14/07/2026 12:37

I am an old lady. I smile or wave at toddlers in the street. I also interact with babies in pushchairs on buses - only if they respond to my overtures of course. I like to see if they can count. I never touch them though. It's utterly bizarre that you think someone would have to be lonely to enjoy the company of babies and toddlers. They are awesome little things.

FrenchandSaunders · 14/07/2026 12:37

Blimey OP, a bit of kindness and compassion wouldn't go amiss.

You'd have freaked at the old lady I bumped into in a supermarket years ago ... she took my DDs ice cream out of her hand and licked it 😁

Ibrox · 14/07/2026 12:37

My workmate's wife's French and they have a 13 month old baby. His wife's absolutely bowled over, delighted, and enchanted by people stopping them in the street and supermarket to say hello and engage with the wee one. She'd never come across the Scots (maybe UK wide...?) custom of gifting a baby a 'pound for their wee pocket..' The wee girl's got a full piggy bank now. 😘

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/07/2026 12:36

youngwhippersnapper · 14/07/2026 12:35

Are you in the North East? When out and about there with my son and new grandson, quite a few kind people stopped to admire the baby and put a coin in his pram. I’d never heard of that custom before ( was visiting from out of that area).

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This also used to happen in SE London in the early 80s .

Catpuss66 · 14/07/2026 12:35

BettyJoanPerske · 14/07/2026 11:16

These comments are insane. You don't owe this woman politeness, I would blank her next time.

What does she owe her rudeness? Where is kindness in all of this? Your morals need checking. In light of Ann Widdecombe’s death you are not teaching any children you have kindness & respect.

youngwhippersnapper · 14/07/2026 12:35

TheChaffinch · 14/07/2026 11:30

Same. I wonder how old she is? Your title says "old lady" then you go on to say 60s early 70s.
I say this because I remember when I had my first baby and as I was pushing the pram, the lady up the road came over and put a coin in the babies hand. I presumed it was some kind of tradition. Anyway she can't have been as old as I first thought because she moved house and still writes to me 30 years later.
Imagine me posting on MN that an old lady touched my baby and put a dangerous choking risk in his hand.

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Are you in the North East? When out and about there with my son and new grandson, quite a few kind people stopped to admire the baby and put a coin in his pram. I’d never heard of that custom before ( was visiting from out of that area).

HotGrapefruit · 14/07/2026 12:35

This is so depressing. We are fucked.

RoseOliviaAu · 14/07/2026 12:34

I imagine she’s harmless but he’s your child so you get to dictate her interactions with him.

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