Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

next time move him out of the way or just put your hand across and say it again just as nicely.

Exactly this. And also, why does an old lady become this creepy scary figure who can’t interact with a child?
I’m 45 and my boys aren’t toddlers anymore but I remember those days, and I always give a kind look to anyone dealing with a toddler or have a chat with them or a quick aside about something silly eg. Oh they never want to wear their coats do they?!
When I am 65,75,85 will I be a creepy old lady from whom your toddler must be protected?
This woman is just a friendly lady, probably a mother herself. She doesn’t think of herself as a random old lady, just a person in your community being friendly. She not a wicked witch!

Gosh OP your mind would have been blown when my children were tiny. We lived in an area of the US with a large Hispanic population and it was common for Hispanic ladies to gently pinch my DC’s cheeks while out shopping while cooing compliments. Someone told me it was for good luck. I don’t know if that’s true or not but we found it charming, and a lovely story to tell later in life

I say this because I remember when I had my first baby and as I was pushing the pram, the lady up the road came over and put a coin in the babies hand

Def a tradition in the NE where I grew up. In fact it would be considered remiss 'not' to.

Never heard anything so ridiculous. Your child is going to be touched by any number of people in the next few years.
The lady is of an age from when it was common for neighbours etc to touch children. It is not always a paedophile situation. Use your common sense, you are with your child but don't be so bloody precious.

Nor do I @Edenmum2, but a lot of humans do. So although I am not tactile, I realise that it’s probably me that is the odd one out. Many humans crave physical touch (and I mean that, obviously, in a completely non-sexual way).
People hug their children and their parents and siblings and friends. Not everyone is a hugger but a huge proportion are.

Personally I find it difficult to pass a dog without touching it (but I do always ask first!)

Lots of small social interactions with a range of different people, including the odd ones, is what builds social confidence. Social anxiety has been stoked by Covid, smart phones, social media, online shopping, self checkout etc. That’s why some young people are scared to speak to strangers or make phone calls nowadays. OP teach your son by example how to make small talk in a kindly way and then disengage.

This. What a sad world we live in where people can't interact without people thinking it's weird 🙄

When I had my DS 14 years ago I received gifts from people in our village who I had barely spoken to, lovely knitted items and genuinely couldn't get over the kindness of strangers over our new little baby. The older generation especially love children, FGS give your head a wobble!

Because that’s an entirely different circumstance and level of danger, statistically.

She shouldn’t touch him but you should also calm down.

putting OP’s post to one side - I definitely don’t have a natural human instinct to touch other people’s children

Aw, that’s lovely. There was an elderly man who lived up our street when I was a child and he used to chat to us and give us Milky Ways. He would throw them into the little ‘boot’ on my tricycle rather than place them in our hands. Or sometimes he pushed three through our letterbox for me and my sister and brother. Just a lovely, lonely old man who rarely saw his children/grandchildren and missed family life. We used to bore him to death at his front gate for ages🤣 My mum was usually in and out keeping an eye on us.

Tbh OP, i wouldn't even bother asking here. If you feel uncomfortable, then go with your gut.

I’m in my 40’s but I think id consider someone in their 60’s old, certainly late 60’s, less so early 60’s. Retirement age is 67 so surely retirees are old?

Same! I love toddlers and little children and I cuddle and squish the ones I know as much as I can!
I also wave, smile, play peepo with other people’s children and they seem to like it.
Appalling to learn that once I’m in my 60s (and probably running a department) I will be perceived as Old Lady who is Lonely and Demented…
OP gird yourself for having teenagers if you are this controlling!

The Mumsnet guide on how to further isolate and stigmatise a harmless, old woman. Just see this thread for details.

YANBU. I 100% agree that it's not ok to touch people without their consent, even moreso when they're strangers and to the max when the person being touched is a child.

You set a boundary. She ignored it. When someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries, it becomes a safety or respect issue rather than a communication problem.

The next step is to invoke the consequences (without which there is actually no boundary) which involves either reducing contact, or stepping back from the relationship entirely.

Given this is some random woman you don't actually know, not 'a relationship' per se, and she has consistently ignored the boundary you set and continued to make you and your son uncomfortable, I'd have zero hesitation in avoiding any further interaction with her whatsoever.

If you must pass her house on your way in and out, maybe do so on the opposite side of the road even if it's a little inconvenient - but don't do it if it's unsafe to cross. If she rushes out again the further distance is good. And if she does, I'd keep walking, glance at her with a stoney expression, then ignore her. Don't get drawn into justifying anything. You don't know her, you owe her nothing and contrary to some responses, it's not mean spirited, just necessary. People don't suddenly become sweet just because they got old, though it's a popular misconception.

Well she lives nearby (in the neighbourhood) not that it matters, if you see her regularly and she thinks your little son is lovely what's not to like. By all means tell her she mustn't hug him, keep between them to ensure that. She must be pretty spritely if she can bend down and try to hug him before you can intervene. I don't think she seems dangerous, just an old lady that likes children, if you are in a hurry just say you can't stop today.

Well I'm an older person myself - much older than 50. I don't go around diagnosing people in general, and definitely not with dementia in particular.

I tried to present an alternative possibility to the unsympathetic one being presented on here by some, based on my own experience of an older lady's behaviour who developed dementia due to social isolation.

Totally agreed - OP get a grip. This isn't assault and you thinking that says more about you than this lady who may just be a bit lonely and thinks your son is cute. Get over yourself.

I feel sorry for her; she is probably lonely. Lots of old people love babies and toddlers. I roll my eyes a bit at the ‘no touching’ thing but that seems to be the modern way. Is it worry about germs or something? If so, it seems a bit silly as there are so many millions of germs everywhere and babies need exposure to them. (I know there is real reason to be very cautious about cold sores, and of course I also wouldn’t expert a person with any other type of virus to touch babies and toddlers) but in general, it seems a very clenched way of going about one’s day. An older lady with dementia who lived near me when my children were little always loved to see them. She once picked baby DS up and sat him on her lap on the bus where she jostled him and sang to him. He loved it and so did she. Community links are very important for everyone’s mental health.

I would keep up with the smiling and a bit of small talk. Reiterate your no touching rule and just keep the conversations short. But worth remembering that all older people were once super precious and special little babies, just like yours.

I wonder how many of the comments saying don’t allow this have also brought new partners to meet their child, significantly higher risk than someone interacting with the child while the mum is right there

Many, many years ago, before tea bags were available, packets of tea used to contain a collectors card which children could put in a special album. These were much prized and there was a lot of swapping cards to try and get a complete set before the tea company changed to a new set of cards with a different them

Whenever my DGM opened a new packet of tea, my DGF would take the card and stand in the forecourt until a child passed by and he would offer them the card.

All very innocent then but I dread to think what people would make of that now . . .

Wow. You’re a bundle of joy. Hopefully you’re in need of serious help one day and people walk past you because they don’t owe you anything :)

Well of course there would, for obvious reasons.

OP, just tell her that he doesn't like being touched, as someone else suggested.