Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

It wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I do still touch children - not in a weird way obs, but if i am chatting to someone i would take there hand or touch there cheek and people did that to my son. I honestly think this is very silly post and so sad - just avoid her, if she is old you will be faster than her. 😅

Or it could be a scout for child kidnapping. This happens in the south of France a lot.

You're right. I reckon she's a witch and her house is made out of gingerbread and sweets.

I'm 68 so I'm also.in the mad old bird frame. I'd better keep myself in check 🤣

This ! My neighbour is in his 80s and every single time we meet him outside, he asks if my 3 year old son is boy or girl 😁 100% Dementia and ge lives alone. my husband finds it extremely annoying, however, we all will be old ....I wouldn't have issues with body contact too

"boundarified themselves out of normal human interactions"

Hahahaha

'' An old lady" 😂
I was chatting to my DH & was reminiscing about a woman I used to babysit for when I was 17. She looked beautiful. I said to my mum I hope I look as good as her when I'm that old. The woman was 32 😂😂
I suppose it's a matter of perception depending on your age

I've said it before but MN is stuffed full of fucking lunatics who've boundarified themselves out of normal human interactions.

I genuinely hope that if OP ever finds the much-vaunted "village" that everyone apparently needs the village tells her to go and do one.

it doesn't have to be about peadophiles or any reason at all. It is absolutely reasonable with no justification needed, to ask strangers no to touch your child.

adults and even adult women do not have a right to override a parents request not to touch their child. its bloody weird that so many of you can't see this.

just because you are not hurting anyone or don't mean harm or are a woman doesn't mean you can go around touching random children if asked not to. Why do you as a stranger think your desire overrides a parent request.

Can you not see how problematic that is? Children are vulnerable people not toys, the least a parent can do is decide not offer them up to the personal whims of a stranger actually. a womb doesn't give you a right to disregard bodily autonomy.

and a chat with a child is a perfectly fine interaction without touching them. let it be enough or even better question why you think it isn't

This 100%.

I wonder if the people the berating OP would be quite so forthcoming if it was a stranger asking to touch and hug them.

Chat and smile to a stranger - fine. Try to hug and hold hands - not fine.

I wouldn't like it, no matter how harmless the little old lady (or vibrant young lady depending on how we're seeing 60's or 70's) was, so I'd advocate for a small child, who wouldn't be able to speak up for themselves. As far as I'm concerned everybody has the right not to be touched by strangers.

The lady isnt just smiling though, is she.

I agree what is the world coming to when humans want to interact with each other. We should all blank each other when out in public, no smiling at children or babies. The world would be a much nicer place. In fact we could all carry a mobile phone and scroll endlessly on it as we walk in case we're even slightly tempted to make eye contact with someone.

In my street there is a similar lady who acts like this, always talked to my child when they were little, even gave them some chocolate once Christmas. Now my child is teen and the lady still talks to me anytime I see her- her house is at the very beginning of the road so I have to pass her house daily ..She is a lovely lady and I recently found out she was retired primary teacher - who just happened to miss her job…

Nappy changing isn't a great comparison as you wouldn't let a stranger (male or female) change a child's nappy.

Exactly.

I think she must be older as I, at 64, know you don’t touch other people’s kids, I wouldn’t even pat a dog’s head without enquiring with the owner if it was ok (although that might be more becsuse I don’t know if it’ll bite me 😬). I come from a generation that, as a kid, was forced to hug and kiss relatives and just put up with people putting their hands on your shoulders (which I hate!) etc, so I am very aware of personal boundaries and glad they are more of a thing today. I wouldn’t blank her though if she was otherwise fine.

YANBU

I have the same issue with a baby and toddler often in M&S, we would be in a lift and people (young and old women) will try to caress their cheeks or heads.

I say out loud “Please don’t touch them, it’s not ok to touch stranger’s children”

You don’t owe strangers an interaction with your child. The argument of them being a “lonely old lady”, is frankly ridiculous. If they are lonely, join a club.

How else do you interpret this?

She had come running out the house and shouted "hello."

I would find it incredibly strange if I woman I've met a few times (and in those interactions focused on and asked to touch my child), came running out of her house to speak to him as we walked past.

Also, the hyperbole goes two ways here. There are plenty of people on this thread who seem to think this post symbolises the downfall of society as we know it.

That isn’t a good comparison.

If a man tried to change a woman’s underwear it would be assault. Yet adults do it to babies and toddlers as part of caring for them.

Its a sad day when you are scared of an elderly woman being nice to your child.

She sounds lovely. I always used to stop and chat to old ladies when I was out with my babies/toddlers. Ds1 in particular loved it. I always used to let the adults with learning disabilities at church hold him and it made their day. I'm not elderly but I'm past the age of having little ones. I'm always grateful to anyone who lets me interact with their babies/toddlers. I used to work with little ones and I really miss it.

My kid was a little older than yours when an "old lady" befriended him. A next door neighbour. She bought him sweets when she went shopping. Hed wait around by the hedge when he saw her car. Over the next 6 years, they became quite close. It transpired she had absolutely no one. During covid my son would pick flowers and leave notes for her on her doorstep. She bought him all the books she loved a child. She became more and more frail. In her last months, he used to go to hers and play her tunes on his tim whistle while I made her tea.

I know the friendship they had was really important for her. But actually, it really helped form my kid in some ways. I could see learning how to express empathy. It was amazing. I'm deeply grateful to that "old woman".

I'm not saying your neighbour is the same... But just wait and see. You might be surprised at how much elderly neighbours can give to small children and how valuable that contribution can be.

I have a 2 year old and think you are being ridiculous. These small interactions probably make her day!

Its a good way to model to your toddler how we set boundaries. Just say please don't touch him, you're a stranger and he doesn't like that. Don't let him grow up thinking he has to put up with being touched when he isn't comfortable just to be polite.

I think loads of the comments here are nuts. If the OP had written the same post but with a middle aged man you'd all be saying something very different. I thought everyone hated sexism and agism on here?