Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

That's a cultural difference. I am tired of people on this thread bringing in examples from a different era or a different culture and comparing like for like. It is highly disingenuous.

Old lady? In her 60's? Has she got a stick and little round glasses?

Jesus.

My neighbour sent her child over to give me a cuddle after my dog died and she’d seen me teary.

He told me he does best cuddles. All I know is that I needed a wee cuddle that day and it felt like a best cuddle to me.

I consider myself fortunate to have a great neighbour who doesn’t think I’m an old lady, must have dementia and am ready to cover him in germs.

I’m also lucky that she doesn’t think me giving him a wee high five is similar to assault.

A toddler would know, far better than an adult, because their body would tell them and their brain wouldn't be developed enough to argue them out of it.

It's not shocking at all. They asked and you gave permission. The baby was happy to be held. This is absolutely fine.

Shocking would have been picking up the baby without asking, feeding it, taking it out of your sight or not handing it back if upset.

OP asked the lady not to touch her son but she did anyway. It's ok to (politely) say no if someone is making you uncomfortable.

But OP asked the lady not to. If OP doesnt feel comfortable, surely that's her right. Would you let ANY stranger touch your child? Presumably you might draw the line at some strangers and if you asked them not to, wouldn't you hope they respect that? OP might draw the line before you do but i think her request should be accepted.

I think it depends to be honest. We had a very odd old lady make be-lines for us when my son was young and my gut instinct made me want her to go away. She was an odd ball though and laughed at my son being scared of her dog one time. I think it was her personality and a control thing, or maybe dementia.

I have a 14 month old and this would not bother me in the slightest. I think it's lovely when older people smile and interact with him, stroke his cheek, you can see how much joy it brings them.

I'd question why it makes you anxious OH - what exactly are you concerned about?

Years ago it was quite normal my mum would think nothing of going up to someone with a baby and touching the baby even giving the baby a kiss.

Don't go to Italy, OP. The (friendly and appropriate) tactile interactions with children will tip you over the edge.

Waiters tying napkins around kids' necks than ruffling their hair, friendly parents on the beach helping all the kids in the line for the tap wash sand off their feet etc etc

They might as well have dementia, mind.

Or if OP is uncomfortable. A toddler doesnt always know.

Yep totally agree 👍

Totally agree! Some posters on here would be absolutely horrified to hear that my daughter and I were in London with her 4 month old a few years ago just before COVID and we were in an Italian cafe by Covent Garden . The waiter was absolutely beyond excited when my daughter accepted the offer for his elderly Mother to cuddle my grandchild so we could both eat with both hands ….how shocking is that !!
Everyone happy inc baby .

You clearly don’t agree that you’re being UR so like many others - WHY ASK?? Just carry on acting like a weirdo nobody really cares apart from you.

You know what I mean.

It would be a much better world if we all cared a bit more. The old man and lady who just helped a young mum on the bus with her pram didn't HAVE to help her. We don't have to care about racism/homophobia etc. But being nice to people makes a nicer world, and encouraging a child to be sociable and friendly is important to them too. So many older kids are struggling to find jobs, and the ones who manage it tend to have good social skills and talk happily with new people.

Em, phrasing.

Assault. I think you need to get a grip.

There's some real miserable fuckers on here, no wonder people are struggling with loneliness and social isolation.
Op, get a bloody grip!

It’s such a short period of time where you’ll have a fuss made of you out and about just because you’re a baby/ toddler. I remember how sad it was for my youngest who was a Covid baby and missed out on it. It’s always happened, don’t deprive your son of normal experiences just because…..
She’s not doing anything weird or inappropriate.

We don't want our little ones becoming so obliging to strangers that they are at risk of sexual assault, but there is another extreme too, and that's that they become so resistant to ordinary physical touch that they struggle to form healthy close relationships.

What makes you think that OP is shielding her child from any and all physical touch?

I am perfectly happy for my son to hug friends, family members and nursery workers. I would not be happy with a stranger asking to hug him.

I would hazard a guess that OP is the same.

Social interaction is a factor that helps delay the onset. I wouldn't say it causes it though.

Social isolation and dementia risk | Alzheimer's Society https://share.google/5WZ0pXFPVWXk2EKjT

Smiling, waving or saying hello is one thing, but trying to remove your son's hat or touch him without your permission crosses a boundary for many parents.
It may well be completely innocent, but you're entitled to decide what you're comfortable with. A polite but firm "Please don't touch him, thank you" is perfectly reasonable if it happens again.

My children learned very early on, that taking to people they didn't know when they were with mummy or daddy was okay, but not if they were alone. You don't have to throw the baby out with the bath water.
No pun intended.

In this case, it is relevant though. As with my MIL and a pp's relative, nostalgic love of small children combined with a lack of filter combine to make this a common element of early dementia. Several of the ladies in MIL's dementia care home were given baby dolls which they carried around most of the time. The dolls calmed them and made them happy.

Initially I found it a bit odd, but soon I canme to recognise the benefits, and would occasionally chat to the ladies about their babies.