Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

I wouldn't have a problem if a 65- year- old man did this either. Several have with my DC. As long as my baby was in my sight.

Welcome to 2026 eh.

Many old people love babies and young children, I like to see it as they are reliving their past and remembering their children as babies- I find it very sweet. Old ladies and old men will always stop and chat to both my children. I think she is just being friendly and probably doesn’t think there is anything wrong with touching him as that just happened back then.

Your world sounds absolutely shit.

To be fair, on MN if a man so much as exists, then people ascribe all kinds of nefarious motivations to his behaviour. People are only reacting because 60 plus year old women are this site's core demographic.

Ah.Now the other parents find her strange too.

Anyway, tell her to fuck off, I guess then. She really must be a pedophile scout.

This! It’s OTT and if all you want is to walk to the shops in peace, someone running out of their house to stop you is just tedious after a while.

It’s absolutely fine to smile and be polite and interested in other people’s children but there are boundaries at the end of the day and for me, this would be crossing them. I’d just want to walk to the shop in peace!

Thank you for retracting the old lady statement. To us 60 plus rockers 😆it's more suited to late 80s plus, even then I'm not sure in it's appropriate simply because it sounds patronising & condescending 😂

Now to the point. There is absolutely no way I'd be comfortable with any stranger manhandling my young child so in my opinion OP YANBU. If she continues to do this tell her firmly to not disturb him by making physical contact due to so many viruses doing the rounds.

That's lovely but what does it have to do with this thread?

She clearly does it to other children so I doubt it’s that the OP’s child is particularly special - sounds like she just likes kids.

Yes, she is. And no, she doesn't sound 'lovely' in the slightest.

I think there is a difference between a friendly older person smiling and interacting with a child - and someone with limited boundaries getting in their face/ your face. It's hard to describe, but some people do make you feel uneasy about their behaviour. Not always in a sinister way - but in that uncomfortable/ grabby way. I think it is ok to have a polite boundary and keep it if someone is being pushy and too in your face/ your baby's face with you. It doesn't sound like OP has been rude. She's just uncomfortable as the boundary has been pushed a few times.

Both my kids have had 'pass the baby's turns when little with the ladies at my mum's WI. And we smile and chat to plenty of older people. But I have had to be quite clear with one lady (not old. Middle aged at most. Maybe 50s) who I suspected had some MH/ learning issues (but also, potentially some substance abuse issues) who wanted to touch my at the time baby and take up the rain cover to see him, when it was raining. I was very clear that was not happening and kept walking. It was very uncomfortable because she did not want to just smile/ say hi she wanted to stop us on our way home and touch my baby despite it raining and me clearly being on the way somewhere. I worried that I had both been rude and not rude enough afterwards. And this was a few years back.

As parents we really should listen to our Spidey senses when something makes us uncomfortable. We owe our children live and safety. And whilst kindness to others is important - we do not owe others our discomfort and the discomfort of our children.

She's ignored OP's request not to touch her child. How is she lovely?

She’s not a stranger now though is she? So you needn’t be worried.

So by that logic, I should give every "stranger" who interacts with my child physical access to him, because they're no longer a stranger and therefore I shouldn't be worried. Are you a parent?

Your son is probably beautiful, she is enamoured with him and is too old to a) run away b) kidnap him c) know kung fu .
She is probably old and lonely and thinks he's sweet. What harm an old lady would do to a toddler just by smiling and being potentially sweet and yes , people did used to be friendlier (i remember old ladies doing it to me when little ) and short of mowing you down with a mobility scooter I don't know what harm will come to you or him.
Said in jest .^

Ah you would like me, OP. I don’t even say hello or wave to small children!

She’s not a stranger now though is she? So you needn’t be worried.
she sounds lovely- whilst you sound like right fright

Go with your gut. By the looks of this thread, there are plenty of people out there who will be quite happy for this woman to touch their children, so she certainly won't be deprived.

Her loneliness and additional needs are not the OP's concern.

I'm not sure that's right. My toddler would probably let anyone do anything to her unless it waa violent. I am the person that decides whether to allow it. For example, my toddler doesnt flinch when someone close to us is smoking a cigarette, however I make a decision to move us both.

Yeah maybe. I don’t know, I would just feel a bit sad for her more than anything. She could be lonely or have additional needs. It wouldn’t make me irate.

Some of the care homes around us have a partnership with the local nurseries and pre schools. The kids go in once a month and they play games, read stories and just generally enjoy each bothers company. They even hold hands!!!
The residents that are able are invited to a tea party or a story day at the nursery usually once a term and the children make them little cakes and sandwiches. It is delightful to see.

There's surely a difference between 'smiling and engaging' and pulling a child's hat off and getting up in their face.

Maybe about 50 years ago it was harmless but times have changed now
What does this even mean?!

Older ladies and men are always smiling and engaging with my little girl. I don’t really see the issue to be honest.