Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

Once upon a time, elderly people cooing over a cute baby or child: normal. Today: a dangerous pedo running amok who should be jailed. And do you know, even little old ladies are dangerous pedos because everyone is a pedo.

They'll probably send 10 officers round, rifle through her books, computer and underwear drawer.

Exactly. And calling others idiots . Says it all .

If you change your son's nappy it's fine, but if your Mom changes yours it's weird. The two things aren't equal

Another fair point - to the best of my knowledge as it is a long thread - is that only OP has used the term ‘fuck off’ to other posters…

A fair point.

It's slightly ironic that the same posters who are suggesting that OP is being rude are the ones who are continually coming back to kick the boot in...

The police are kicking their heels with little to do so will be thankful for a real case to sink their teeth into.

'Hello Officer, I'm calling because my neighbour said hello and touched my child's face once.'

Comedy gold.

This is a valid point. & why I said in a previous post when I was 17 I described someone at 32 as looking great for being that old.

Looking back I realise it was a perception according to my age at the time. Perhaps it's time to educate young people that describing anyone as 'an old lady' regardless of age is condescending & patronising.

If for example you were a hairdresser you wouldn't show pictures to an 80 plus women & say I usually recommend this style for an old lady & you would suit it.

This for me sums up the feeling of those who dislike the expression. It has absolutely nothing to do with the aging process. That is a blessing not to be taken for granted.

I don't understand why you asked the question OP. You have clearly made up your mind. Why bother to post it.?

Re ageism. The discussion seems to have become about everyone else's interpretation rather than OP's words. She said "old"; she didn't say frail, confused or incapable. Those ideas have been introduced by other posters, some genuinely, some sarcastically, and people are now arguing against meanings they themselves have added.

OP also said she's nowhere near 40. If she's in her 20s, then it's entirely unsurprising that she'd describe someone in their 60s or 70s as old. Whether those in their 60s feel old is beside the point. To someone four or five decades younger, they are. That's simply how age is perceived relative to your own stage of life, not evidence of ageism.

I actually find this thread quite ageist. A woman in her 60s is not a little frail old lady. Dm is 71 and has more energy than I do, and I am 30 years younger than her!

People's opinions are subjective and can be shaped by experience/personality too. Everybody's view is valid, whether you agree with op or not. Personally I would just cross the road/go a different route (if something like this was bothering me, and hadn't stopped with a simple request).
If I wasn't sure if I was over reacting maybe the thread, but op seems to have strong views, so I am a little unsure on what is to be gained here.
However I will repeat 60's age bracket is NOT 80's!!

Some women on this site greatly enjoy reprimanding other women and telling them what to do.

TBF, what were you thinking a discussion forum was actually for?

I don't think that means much to be honest, what used to be perfectly normal years ago, is not what is the norm now, so depending on the demographic you will get different answers which is what is happening here.

I think lockdown / covid has had something to do with it, parents now do seem more wary of their children being touched by others, just look at threads about limiting visits from family when babies are born, and rules around babies not being kissed/cuddled etc when years ago they would be passed around freely.. things HAVE changed, and some of it is for the better IMO. I'm an older mum who had a child in lockdown, so I see both sides, and while I would be okay with someone taking her hand if she was okay with that, I'd find it overstepping for a adult stranger to remove her sun hat to 'look at her face', or try and hug her unprompted, I think that would make my daughter feel pressured to comply, so I would be ready to step in.

There IS socially accepted rules about interaction, it's why on a first date we don't snog someone when we first meet them.. This is really no different, just because it is an older woman and a child.

The sad thing is if the woman understood boundaries, she would probably have kids running over to her to greet her once they got to know her, but because she is a stranger, overstepping what a lot of parents see as appropriate, the parents will now avoid her and the kids will never know her, but that is 100% down to her unfortunately.

But you haven’t answered the point about why you bothered to start the thread when you already have your mind made up and just argue with people who don't give the opinion you want.

Yet currently 19 people have registered that they agreed with that comment of mine.

Haven't caught up with the threat, but Police??! Is OP really thinking of getting the police involved? Please don't OP. Don't break this woman. Just tell her you're teaching your child boundaries and he doesn't like being touched by strangers. Just be a firm grown up.

YANBU, OP. I think you're correct to be protective. It wouldn't occur to me to make contact with a child.

No it hasn't.

I gave an example earlier on. My little boy has a lovely relationship with our 80 something year old neighbour. She potters around the garden with him, showing him her plants and flowers. He makes cards for her at Easter and Christmas. We always wave hello when we're walking by and will have a little chat of there's time. She's a lovely lady. It's very sweet.

I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with what OP has described here. This is a relatively unknown woman who has taken a sudden interest in her child, asking lots of questions about him and asking to touch him (then ignoring the answer). They don't have a relationship outside of this and I can understand why it makes her feel uncomfortable.

Context is really important.

This.
The lady is probably lonely or perhaps her grandchildren live miles away.
You are being very precious about your child - she asked if she could say hello. You’ve told her (I hope kindly) that you don’t want people touching him and why.
Give the lady a break and don’t get hung up on this - your son will be absorbing your attitude to all this.

Jesus Christ, I am so glad that I am older and nearer not being in this world than being young. My eldest son had a "My lady" when he was a toddler. He always looked out for and they always waved to each other or had a wee blether. Has the world really got this sad that it's unusual to have a wee friendship starting between a wee one and an older woman?