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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to stop my brother going upstairs to say goodbye?

289 replies

Unconvinced8768 · 14/07/2026 08:35

When my brother comes over to visit, maybe monthly he comes over for lunch or whatever, my 2 teen DDs join us for a bit but are usually off to their rooms by the time he leaves.
DB has a habit of saying ‘right I’m off I’ll just go and say bye to the girls’ and heads upstairs to say goodbye to them.

I would rather call the girls down than have him go to their bedrooms. I think it’s a bit weird and the girls don’t really like their uncle coming to their bedrooms either.

so AIBU to think it’s weird and how can I tell him to stop without causing offence?

OP posts:
Original poster
Unconvinced8768 · 14/07/2026 08:45

BeMintFatball · 14/07/2026 08:43

I think OP you are the one that’s weird. Would you feel differently if your guest was an aunt?
Tell your daughters if they don’t want relatives knocking on their door to say goodbye they should be coming downstairs. Basic manners really.

they’re not being rude and I don’t mind them going to their rooms after we have eaten etc.Its more that he just announces he’s off and goes up to their bedrooms before I get the chance to say I’ll call them down to say goodbye.

OP posts:
shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 14/07/2026 08:45

Why don’t you trust your own brother?

WeGoWayBack · 14/07/2026 08:44

Just say they don’t like people in their bedrooms. Normal people wouldn’t take offence, so if he does, who cares. It would be very strange if he made a fuss and said he still wanted to go into their rooms. He can just shout that he’s leaving and they can say bye.

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2026 08:44

Op, if you’re not happy then beat him to it and shout upstairs ‘kids, uncle is going, come and say bye’.

nam3c4ang3 · 14/07/2026 08:43

Is he some pervert or sexual predator and thats why youre concerned? If thats the case YANBU

BeMintFatball · 14/07/2026 08:43

I think OP you are the one that’s weird. Would you feel differently if your guest was an aunt?
Tell your daughters if they don’t want relatives knocking on their door to say goodbye they should be coming downstairs. Basic manners really.

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2026 08:43

WilmaRubble · 14/07/2026 08:41

I’d tell my kids to say ‘I’m going to bed now uncle James, see you next week’.

We don’t say goodnight to our own teenagers if their doors are closed. That’s our unspoken rule.

Really?

user1492757084 · 14/07/2026 08:43

I woud be disappointed if Uncle did not want to say good bye.
If your girls don't wish him to visit them upstairs then they need to come down stairs or shut their door so they can come to the door when Uncle knocks.

Advise them better to come down stairs to say fairwell to a guest.

WilmaRubble · 14/07/2026 08:41

I’d tell my kids to say ‘I’m going to bed now uncle James, see you next week’.

We don’t say goodnight to our own teenagers if their doors are closed. That’s our unspoken rule.

Greenspaceskeepmecalm · 14/07/2026 08:41

I think it is a bit odd, why doesn’t he just shout up and they can pop their head out?

ChavsAreReal · 14/07/2026 08:40

"They're not little anymore, they're teens and they like to keep their bedrooms private/own space"

MyballsareSandy2015 · 14/07/2026 08:39

He’s their uncle! You obv have some reservations about him to even think like this!

Tadissa · 14/07/2026 08:39

Is your instinct saying that he has some weird sexual intentions? I would not see it as a big deal but there must be some reason why they feel so uncomfortable around him and so do you.

drspouse · 14/07/2026 08:37

Why is it weird? My DCs are close to their uncle, the 12 year old didn't see him the other week because she was at school and she was disappointed.
Do you let him go to the loo in your house? Does he never stay over?