I was in the wrong, AIBU to be disappointed anyway?

I have personal pictures etc set for only some people not all friends.

Rarely I put anything like that on it anyway

Your DH is not a nice man. Get out of there OP while you still have sanity. This is not something you should be contemplating beig in in the future. Huge congratulations on your achievement! Raising a glass to you. 🍹

Op your h is so insecure, wonder why op, as the saying goes ' dog knows his own tricks best'
Why does he feel the need to monitor your SM,
Why is he belittling you and making you walk on eggshells op,
This is on him not you op,

But your name is your data if he only knew it in the course of his work. I used to work for a data collection place and you'd get sacked if you copied or took any of the information off the premises/onto your own devices including people's names.
Unless it's a business directory entry and the name and info are in the public domain. But not personal information of any kind.

OP this is so sad. You are so brow beaten by this man’s insane insecurities that you can’t see the wood from the trees. Who in their right mind checks their partners Facebook friends lists? Assuming you are a fully grown adult, I’ve found over the years that I’ve acquired various friends and acquaintances on Facebook, many of whom I am no longer in touch with. Unless I was posting regularly about my life, DC etc, who cares??

Do you have other people in your life that you can celebrate your success with? Your achievement is worth noting and celebrating and if your husband can’t see that well then that’s on him.

Jeez, when you read all your messages together, it's a frightening level of control he is exerting over you.

I understand the just buying a house and no energy for divorce, but you really need out because you really won't get the energy levels back until you're free.

But please be really, really careful.

Hey girl, you sound stressed. Your comments are worrying. You did nothing wrong and hopefully the support on here shows you that.

The HCP contacting you IS weird and I wonder if perhaps they were also concerned about you if you perhaps mentioned something during the health check about your DH (really???) and his behaviour. From the outside, it is CLEARLY controlling, manipulative and coercive.

It sounds like you deserve better. You’ve made the first step in realising this situation is out of order and posting here, but do you have a person IRL you can confide in? Someone at work perhaps who doesn’t know your husband? Maybe someone at the healthcare practice who asked if your husband has authority to talk on your behalf?

You’re clearly doing really well at work and I presume well respected - congrats on the exam, that’s a HUGE achievement and you should be proud of yourself xx

When you share pictures of yourself and personal information?

I don’t think anyone is that stupid.

Perhaps on accounts that are wannabe influencers but OP obviously isn’t one of them.

I read your first post thinking - convenient time for him to piss all over your parade...

Then I read the others and increasingly realised that you're in a dangerous relationship.

You have done well to pass your exams, but the lack of congratulations is the very least of your worries.

I havent read all the responses but your husband is massively out-of-line.

Accepting a facebook friend request is a very low-level of engagement. I would not be concerned with who my own husband is “friends” with on facebook as I am not his keeper and I trust him. If I ever felt uncomfortable, I would speak with him openly.

Obviously everyone’s relationship is different but his reaction is hugely disproportionate to any perceived offence and is unacceptable. I would feel exactly the same were the sexes reversed. I’d think very carefully about whether your DH is a good (or even decent) man and what this relationship offers you.

Congratulations on your exam success and I hope you have other people in your life who are celebrating you.

Some people just add all and sundry. Never actually communicate with them though. Not a bug deal. Every heard of personal choice?

Any you sound extremely naive adding random men you barely know.

Like why?
What would the reason be for you to add complete strangers or men you barely know?

Stop adding random men to your Facebook where you share pictures of yourself, family and potentially children.

Surely you know it’s not acceptable to add a man that you don’t know/barely know?

Not acceptable? To who? She can add anyone she wants. You sound as controlling as the husband.

it is totally reasonable to accept a Facebok friend request from a man your husband doesn’t know. Your husband is controlling you with this and sounds abusive. How is his behaviour the rest of the time? This sounds like a massive red flag.

massive congratulations on your exam!!!!

Another one to think your husband sounds unhinged. How have you got yourself in this position with your husband monitoring your every friend request and access to all your passwords?!

Why would you want to be "friends" with a stranger who performed your health check? Facebook is so bloody weird.

Well done on the exam.

Your husband is a knob.

Your husband is either controlling or paranoid. This will only get worse.

I agree, he couldn’t “lift her data” as healthcare professionals have to confirm name and DoB so the blood results etc. go on the correct person’s record. Looking a patient up on social media and friend requesting them is unprofessional and I’m sure he will have been spoken to about this.

Silent treatment, emails, “vile and disgusting” is an entirely different matter because OP has to live with this, day and night.

Do you trust this man? My ex was like this, all interactions with men monitored and checking socials etc. Turns out he was a massive cheat and holding me to his standard.

Please make sure that your children are provided for in your will (if that is your wish), as your husband won't leave them a penny.
Sorry if it seems a bit random but I have seen too much on MN over the years.

Your DH has called you "vile and disgusting". This is not normal.

My 'appeasing' conversation would be like this.
" John, I've done something which is a massive issue for you, but was trivial to me. Your expectations of my behaviour are miles from my reality. To the point where it is an insurmountable gap. I am not interested in fighting, or aportioning blame, but clearly we are not making each other happy. I want a divorce'
Followed with - I'm not doing the blame thing. I no longer love you, and believe you no longer love me. I want a divorce.

Your updates are extremely worrying OP. He is controlling and abusive. You do need to look to leave for your own aelf esteem and sanity. Has he always been like this?

I agree if it’s inappropriate.
But the guy didn’t ’lift her data’.
He knew her name as she went to see him. He saw her so could match the picture in FB.
Inappropriate but not a ‘he went to look up details he shouldn’t have access to’ type of scenario.

More to the point. It’s a minor issue compared to how controlling tge OP’s dh is

OP, I am worried about you.

You are clearly an intelligent capable woman with the earning power to be independent.

You are being emotionally and psychologically controlled by an abusive partner.

Lots of us will say LTB , but it isn’t easy when you are in the middle of being controlled, treading on egg shells, afraid to change passwords etc.

I think you could benefit from RL support , including counselling / therapy to give you the strength and perspective to save yourself.

With your new qualifications would you have the earning power to buy him out of your house? Talk to a mortgage advisor. You might be surprised. Call from work if necessary.