I was in the wrong, AIBU to be disappointed anyway?

This is actually quite controlling, i was married to someone who earned far less than me and became financially dependent. We never celebrated my achievements, instead there was always a row over something. That always fell on the same day/ time period, almost as an excuse for him not to be happy for me. I had to delete and stop talking to a lot of male friends during the course of that relationship. So ask yourself, 1. Has he ever really celebrated, congratulated you fully or made a big deal out of your acheivements? 2. If he left tomorrow would be financially independent? 3. Who's 'lifestyle' would suffer the most in terms of materialistic things if you weren't together? 4. Why on earth does he think he has 'stopped' you cheating? If you wanted to you could? 5. Has he cheated? 6. Do you see your friends regularly? 7. Do you have you own hobbies etc? 8. What else have you compromised on?

This is so worrying! You need to think carefully about your future. 💐

Your husband is massively insecure and controlling. He may be projecting, who even thinks about cheating that much in a usual marriage?

Well done on your achievement 😁😁😁

Well it's strange that the HCA sent a friend request but you did nothing wrong. You are entitled to have whoever you want on your Facebook. Nothing to do with Dh

I would think it weird if a health care worker who has treated you made a friend request.
That person must have searched facebook to seek you out. Unless its a lifelong friend of yours I would think it breaches professional boundaries

I think it’s very very odd for a healthcare professional who performed your appointment to find you on Facebook. Had a woman nurse or HCA found my DH after an appointment I would feel very uncomfortable.

I probably wouldn’t sulk like your DH, but it is bloody weird. Asking you to delete colleagues (unless there’s more to the story) isn’t great though.

Your husband is controlling and abusive. I'm really sorry you are with a man like this.

While I don’t think you did anything wrong by accepting the friend request, the HCP absolutely did. This goes against professional guidelines and is a total breach of privacy laws. They will probably still get in trouble for this. (And they should.)
Your DH’s insecurity is showing. The controlling, misogynistic wanker needs to be put in his place. (Not your house)

Accepting a friend request from male is not inappropriate unless you feel it is - regardless of what you husband says.

Your DH has been inappropriate in many ways - ignoring your achievement checking your phone monitoring your friends list.

The HCA is also inappropriate and should not be making friend requests to any patients - this needs reporting.

You have 2 inappropriate men it would seem, one may be easier to get rid of than the other but you should make plans to remove both from your life.

Odd that he appeared after Op had had an appointment with him if he never had before though.

Jesus fucking christ op - why the FUCK are you with someone so insane?! This isnt normal - please tell me you have no kids with this absolute twat of a husband and that you are seeing how awful he is behaving and are getting ready to leave him?!

Are you not allowed to have male friends on social media such as colleagues, neighbours or is it just random requests that your DH has a problem with?

His reaction is really OTT

Did he actually send a friend request or did it just come up on her feed as possibly someone she knew. I know my boss appears occasionally as someone I might know.

Most importantly, your husband is controlling and emotionally abusive. Reviewing your Facebook friends and telling you what you can and cannot do is control, silent treatment, ignoring your success to hurt you, and repeatedly coming back to your 'wrongdoing" even though you apologized is emotionally abusive.

The healthcare worker broke professional ethics (attempting to be friends with an ex patient, perhaps used data recorded for healthcare purposes (your name) in another way (to look you up on Facebook)). It's up to you whether you report that.

I think there was a bit more to you accepting the friend request. You’ve underplayed it, but you need to be very honest with yourself here.
It was also massively unprofessional of him to do that, and it’s surprising that you, as a professional yourself, didn’t recognise that. I think you were flattered.

Your husband overreacted and his reaction to your achievement was incredibly disappointing. You will get a lot of support on here and rightly so perhaps. But the opposite would be true if your husband posted on here, saying that he had accepted a friend request from his young female nurse. And his wife was pissed off. The support would be overwhelmingly in her favour.

You wrote something like “I don’t know all the rules and often fall foul of them”, something like that. What kind of rules are we talking about? Okay, yes, most relationships will have stuff we do and stuff we don’t do because it would upset or hurt our partner, but usually these are considerations, not rules, and the language bothered me and made me worried about you. Are you in a marriage where there are literally rules and punishments if you break them? (and we’re not talking some kind of bdsm lifestyle?) If so, I’m concerned for you. I may have misunderstood but either way, your husband having a go at you for a week over something that was resolved instantly, is a worrying over reaction.

I would have thought it’s a disciplinary offence for the healthcare assistant never mind anything else.

There are two issues here, unprofessional health care worker and an abusive DH. Get out of this marriage. His behaviour is frightening and will only get worse. Do not have children with him.

Your DH is a controlling abusive asshole. He’s jealous of your achievements. You have done nothing wrong. Password protect your phone, get your ducks lined up and leave. This will only get worse. Don’t have kids with this guy.

Yes. I would not tolerate that.

Your husband is a controlling asshole. Do you really think that his behaviour is acceptable?

Mega congrats. A family member did that sort of studying and I know how hard it is. Be very proud of yourself.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. Do people really think that being a “friend” on social media has any meaning anyway?