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AIBU?

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AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

255 replies

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 16:24

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

OP posts:
Didimum · 13/07/2026 17:45

School work in the summer holiday? Why?

I would let your teens sleep in – it's developmentally important.

I think it's fine for your littler ones – 5 kids is a lot. The 9am with immediate chores is a bit harsh though.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/07/2026 17:35

Sorry, it sounds awful! But the only routine we have in this house is there is no routine. If it works for your kids fine, but mine would think I’d lost my mind if I suggested anything like what you’ve planned. Holidays are for sleeping, relaxing and zero pressure to be anywhere or do anything. We have enough of that in term time.

Livpool · 13/07/2026 17:34

Sorry I am commenting agin but hey ho. My friend grew in a house like this - 4 out of the 6 kids are NC with their parents. The controlling didn’t stop when they left home turned 18, or moved out…

I think this is too much - I get up early in the week for work but love a lie in at the weekend. I don’t get
up at 6:30 still, do my chores and then log on and do half an hour of work. That would be odd.

ByRoseBiscuit · 13/07/2026 17:31

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 13/07/2026 16:35

I think it sounds a bit OTT. Maybe just plan some day trips, playdates, holiday club like cricket or drama for a week, then leave the rest flexible.

Rather than "school work schedule" do something like reading a longer book, learning about something together etc. Set overall stuff for the teens and let them manage the timings. eg my DS is going into Y10. I have said we'll watch the films of his GCSE set texts and he can do BBC Bitesize so he knows the key themes before Sept. Don't make teens get up early, they do that all school year.

Agree with this. My kids have always crawled to the end of the school year, can’t imagine making them get up and do chores and school work first thing every day. We always make sure we have a nice mix of rest and relaxation, activities and a bit of learning without being so hardcore.

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 13/07/2026 17:25

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:08

Haha, I think some people don't understand that chores kind of need to be done at a certain time to keep the household running or otherwise the house would be a mess! And doing the chores at night isn't practical because everybody's tired after a long day.
I'm shocked people are upset about the 9am part of this schedule. 9am sounds like a lie-in in this house where my teens are up at 6:30am everyday for school usually

Oh, stop. You absolutely don't need to get everyone up, dressed and doing schoolwork and chores by 9am to have a functional household 😂

Savvysix1984 · 13/07/2026 17:23

Sounds awful especially for the teens. My dd14 would not be happy being woke before 9 and then having to do schoolwork. Summer is for chilling.

Ihaveaskedyouthrice · 13/07/2026 17:22

I like the idea of the themed days but I think the rest of it is too structured. We have 9 weeks of summer holidays here and all of us are ready for a break from routine by the time summer holidays get here. I know you say they're up before 9 anyway but surely as teens they're capable of choosing themselves what time they get up?

Cocktailsandcheese · 13/07/2026 17:20

I'm all for a loose routine to stop the constant "what are we doing today" questions and expectations. But blimey, it sounds like an army training camp round yours 😂

Yes your teens get up at 6.30am for school, presumably that's because they have to or they'll be late. Teens are known for not getting as much sleep as they need during term time as their best quality sleep is often mid-late morning. The holidays are when teens get to finally catch up on the essential rest and sleep that they have been missing during term time.

The household isn't going to fall apart if nobody empties the dishwasher until lunchtime.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/07/2026 17:20

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:08

Haha, I think some people don't understand that chores kind of need to be done at a certain time to keep the household running or otherwise the house would be a mess! And doing the chores at night isn't practical because everybody's tired after a long day.
I'm shocked people are upset about the 9am part of this schedule. 9am sounds like a lie-in in this house where my teens are up at 6:30am everyday for school usually

You know we all have dc and functional households too? With teens who do chores?

Livpool · 13/07/2026 17:20

Why do they have to get up at 9?! They are on their holiday from school.

Tableforjoan · 13/07/2026 17:19

Doing chores is fine but being rigid in when exactly they have to happen each day on holiday otherwise the whole house apparently falls apart is a bit much.

PeriPeriMayo · 13/07/2026 17:19

Why on earth would you make kids do 30 minutes schoolwork a day during the summer holidays?!!

It will not be something they remember fondly.

Reading every day absolutely, but it doesnt need to be scheduled in!

Swiftie1878 · 13/07/2026 17:19

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:16

Ah yes, them having chores and doing 30 minutes of school work is absolutely draining. No, they're tired because my teenagers go hang out with their friends all day long, my younger kids run around the house or the garden until theu are ready to fall asleep. Trust me, they aren't tired because of chores and 30 minutes of school work

I’m not just referring to the first hour of your days. I’m talking about all the rest of the structure in your schedule. It’s beyond cruel to over-schedule children like this.

weareallcats · 13/07/2026 17:18

I do think it’s fine to expect some help around the house - mine help me too, although on an ad hoc basis (ie - I grab the nearest dc if I need help with something) rather than set things. Teens in particular are so sleep deprived during the school term - I let mine sleep as much as they want during the holidays.

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:16

Swiftie1878 · 13/07/2026 17:14

😂😂 Chores at night isn’t practical because everyone’s tired after a long day.

Yes! The LONG DAY you have created!

This is all about you. Your convenience. Keeping yourself ‘sane’. How YOU want things to be.

You have five little human beings involved here, and they all deserve a say. And a rest!

Ah yes, them having chores and doing 30 minutes of school work is absolutely draining. No, they're tired because my teenagers go hang out with their friends all day long, my younger kids run around the house or the garden until theu are ready to fall asleep. Trust me, they aren't tired because of chores and 30 minutes of school work

OP posts:
toastandegg · 13/07/2026 17:16

It would be far to regimented for me and I also have a large family- my teens get up when they’re ready and help with chores when they’re up, but you seems sure it is best op so not sure why you’ve posted

arethereanyleftatall · 13/07/2026 17:16

I can understand it must require more structure to have that many people in one house, but where the 9am is unfair on your 16 year old, is that I think that would be extremely unlikely that that is what any of his friends would be doing. He will have till noon every day twiddling his thumbs whilst all his friends are still asleep.

asdbaybeeee · 13/07/2026 17:15

So we do a variation of this as my dc is autistic and works better with a routine. So we will do-
Monday - visit grandparents
Tuesday - day out
Wednesday- sports club
thursday - childcare
Friday - childcare

so each week mom/tues change but I know the plan for each week. Dc get up around 7 and I usually let them have some gaming time in the morning and we go out late morning or after lunch.

Swiftie1878 · 13/07/2026 17:14

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:08

Haha, I think some people don't understand that chores kind of need to be done at a certain time to keep the household running or otherwise the house would be a mess! And doing the chores at night isn't practical because everybody's tired after a long day.
I'm shocked people are upset about the 9am part of this schedule. 9am sounds like a lie-in in this house where my teens are up at 6:30am everyday for school usually

😂😂 Chores at night isn’t practical because everyone’s tired after a long day.

Yes! The LONG DAY you have created!

This is all about you. Your convenience. Keeping yourself ‘sane’. How YOU want things to be.

You have five little human beings involved here, and they all deserve a say. And a rest!

PeriPeriMayo · 13/07/2026 17:14

Fuck me. Chill out 😂.
I'm all about routine but summer holidays are meant to be fun.
9am wakeup and 30 minutes of school work a day?!

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 13/07/2026 17:14

Gosh just let them enjoy the holidays carefree- the rest of the year is stressful enough

EarringsandLipstick · 13/07/2026 17:13

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:08

Haha, I think some people don't understand that chores kind of need to be done at a certain time to keep the household running or otherwise the house would be a mess! And doing the chores at night isn't practical because everybody's tired after a long day.
I'm shocked people are upset about the 9am part of this schedule. 9am sounds like a lie-in in this house where my teens are up at 6:30am everyday for school usually

My eldest child was up before 6 am all school year due to distance from her school. She gets up early now if she’s working.

Otherwise she gets up when she feels like it - some days that’s about 10, others it’s a good bit later.

None of mine sleep into the pm & I wouldn’t be delighted if they did but come on, making a 16 yo be up at 9 am for chores & school work on their holidays is really unreasonable.

livingthroughchaossince2010 · 13/07/2026 17:12

arethereanyleftatall · 13/07/2026 17:10

For a 5 year old, a schedule is fine.

for all, chores are fine.

BUT, I would say it’s verging on cruel to force a 16 year old (who must have just done GCSEs?) to get up at 9am, do half an hour work, and immediately do chores.

my girls worked super hard for their GCSEs the whole of year 11. I made ZERO demands of them that summer holiday. Wanna wake up at 3pm? You go for it darling, you’ve earned it. Wanna wear your pants and eat crisps all day? Knock yourself out.

16 year old would not be doing work! He has woken up by 9am everyday the past month since hid GCSEs, he used to wake up at 5:30am every morning to get to school to study before exams! And before GCSEs he would wake up at 6:30am to get to school on time anyways. So 9am is a lie-in for him. But no he doesn't have any work to do.

OP posts:
Harrietsaunt · 13/07/2026 17:12

It sounds like organised fun. My eldest would have just stayed in her room and the youngest would have run away from home if I tried to inflict this on them.

Natsku · 13/07/2026 17:11

If they're used to getting up for chores in the morning anyway then seems alright, though I'd maybe push it back to 10am, or at least on weekends.

I've had summers with my oldest that have been more on the regimented side, with summer school every morning but afternoons and evenings were free for her to do what she liked unless we were having a day out or she wanted to do something with me. Now she's a teenager her time is her own because she has so little of it left to herself (we were abroad for 4 weeks so she had to fit in with timetables then, and she just finished two weeks full time summer job work, and she has camp soon)

My youngest has to do some school work in the mornings before he can do anything else, but after that he's free to play as he wants or go visit friends (except this week, as he's grounded) as I have to work so can't do things with him anyway, makes me miss those summers with DD when we could do so much together.

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