AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

I think some more flex would be possible without the household turning to chaos.

E.g assuming the 16 year old isn't obliged to follow the 9:30pm bedtime, why does it matter if they choose to empty the bin/dishwasher/make sure the breakfast table is clear before they go to bed. You could have an arrangement whereby if their chores are done before they go to bed then you won't wake them up til 10am or 10:30 and otherwise it's 9am.

And for the movie nights I would really not compel them to go, or at least offer them opt outs, or run the family movie night on a Sunday if you want everyone to go. We used to have a lot of parties on Friday nights and my friends who had families who made them stay in a) missed out on a lot socially and b) were pretty resentful of their family. You don't need to put movie night on a Friday but do check with your teen on this - parties used to be on a Friday mainly for us because parents didn't have to work the next day and it gave them the whole of Saturday to tidy the house up, and if necessary Sunday as well. Sometimes they were on a Saturday or other days of the week but Friday was definitely really common.

Love the idea , @livingthroughchaossince2010

Generally children/young people do better with a schedule and with boundaries. They feel safer knowing what's what.

In fact, I do too!

16 year old has to be up by 9 doing chores before breakfast and school work after breakfast in school holidays?

Strict routines might suit you but what about the other 5 people involved here? Plus your non negotiable early morning chores would take me about 10 minutes in total. Why insist all are up in time to do them to your schedule? TBH, if I had 5 children, I'd be happy if most didn't rise early and I had a bit of time to myself in the mornings.

I think it’s a great idea. Kids thrive on routine and knowing what’s coming up. Five kids is a lot so I think it’s even more important to have routine and set expectations.

towards the end of the holiday it may save your sanity.

My 15 year old got up at 8pm on Saturday!

OP, I get 6 weeks off every summer as I am a teacher and the thought of someone setting me a schedule to prevent 'summer slide' makes me want to cry. I also think if I was one of your teenagers I would be finding a job to avoid 'Creative Monday' alone. The whole point of a holiday is to escape the get ups, following a schedule and general control imposed by another entity.

100%

Most of these tasks happen in the evening in my house.

The only one that seems to need to be done in the morning specifically is feeding the dog.

I have 3 kids
age 14, 10 and 7

I have “a plan” for days out and stuff because it’s more structured and my kids personally like that and we build in friends and family too

my teen sees his friends maybe while I do stuff with the younger too but ultimately I have a plan

Why on earth would you make teenagers get up at 9? They need their sleep! The time they are up for school is not natural for them and they need to rest and recover for the next school year.

Maybe not 3 pm but why not 10 or 11?

If they’re asleep they’re not causing any trouble anyway?

So what?

I’d never have got my teenagers out of bed by 9am - probably still asleep depending on what time they were home the night before. They made their own schedule at that age.

I don’t understand why you said you don’t want them sleeping in until 3pm, and then switched immediately to saying they wake up at 6am and they would never dream of sleeping past 9am at the very latest. Why make it a rule then?
Im all for children of every age helping with household chores that are appropriate for whatever age/stage they are at, but it sounds like you’re running a military boot camp not a loving large family home.
As the adult i don’t see why you can’t take 10 mjnutes to load/empty the dishwasher now and then, or feed the dog. You chose to have a large family, your children should not be picking up the slack for you to the extent where they can’t behave like children.
why is your thinking so regimented and rigid unnecessarily?

This all sounds so odd to me. Are they allowed a lie in if they’ve been out late? How will you feel in a year or two if your 18 year old goes out out til 4am?

I personally love this OP. I take it you don’t work in the holidays.
Structure is good for children and you can be flexible with it - have a discussion to decide where you go or what you do. School work could be a learning based game rather than worksheets. Chorea are essential and can be made fun or done in teams. This sounds fine to me.

Gosh, this sounds extremely regimented. I understand that if you have many children a routine is helpful for you, but unfair to impose it on your older DC. Also, they have a series of chores that have to be done but don't make their own breakfast?

I think flexibility is key. Give the older DC chores that can be done at any time of day. Have certain days where you have plans you expect them to join but don't schedule every day for them. Older teens especially are learning to gain independence from their families. Enforced "fun" days sounds like a recipe for resentment.

Lmao gutted I read this far before I realized it was clearly a piss take.

On the off chance it wasn't (i cba with lazy parenting) why can't you take the literal 2 minutes to feed the dog, 10mins to unload the dishwasher (who loads it?) clear the table from what? 'fun' you decided on? dinner the kids cooked? dishes that wasn't loaded by a teenager? how long does it take to take a bin out and why are you to busy to do that?

That's literally 15 minutes of YOUR day to make your kids have an extra hour of theirs free. Small ones keeping you too busy? Don't have 5 kids then, your teenagers aren't your slaves because you had more kids tf.

Your teenagers should - clean up after themselves absolutely, but why they waking up early to clean the dining table and feed the dog ?!

Bloody hell, chill man. Poor kids 😂

Oh yeah and I would also lighten up on the school work thing on the weekends

But kids need to learn to cope with boredom and find for themselves something to do. Planning every moment of their day means they will never learn how to fill an idle moment or period of time. Completely wrong thing to do.

I think it sounds great! I’d maybe relax the wake up time for the teens on the weekends, let them sleep till 11am or at least have the option to. Gives them a bit more autonomy & is quite a blissful time as a teen getting to lie in bed a bit longer. But still keeps the week structure & reflects real life a bit more , weekends should be more relaxed

All i would say is as an irish mam, 4 weeks is easy to fill. My son has 14 weeks of holidays and to top it off broke his arm 2 weeks before the hols so will be at home with me a total of 16 weeks!! I have already done 8 and 8 to go!! I would be inclined to go with the flow for the 4 weeks..some nice ideas though, water Wednesday, fun Friday etc

Good luck

@livingthroughchaossince2010 having some structure in place for the holidays works well, well it did for me. If previous years haven’t worked out so well, then it’s at least worth giving a try.

With so many plans in place per week, you can then easily drop some as you go (so don’t buy tickets in advance) if you feel the kids are getting tired and could do with a TV day.

I would relax on the teenagers though. They could do with catching up on sleep. Secondary school is quite intense.