Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

I don't have siblings but I wouldn't tell my cousins. I'd tell my mum.

Not your news to tell!

NO!!

I would say I had inherited a significant sum but wouldn't say how much. People are obviously going to notice when you move, get new car, travel, cut down on/give up work. Not that this a problem I will ever have to wrestle with!

Well unless he starts talking about his multiple houses how would anybody know about them.

If he wants to retire early he can make up some story about being offered a golden package at work because you know he found some stuff out shh 🤐 🤫 👀

DH has received two life changing amounts, one smaller and one larger. We didn’t say anything for the first although I suspect family guessed due to us moving and their knowledge of our circumstances but we did for the bigger amount as we wanted to give people money.

If he thinks the issue will be who it came from then tell them it came from your side

There we go.

So, you've inherited £250k. Before that you were on track to just about retire at 68. Now you can retire at 58. You hate your job. Do you give your sibling £50k? It's only 20%, you'd have a whole £200k left for yourself after! It would mean you have to work another two years in the job you hate though... How do you feel about it now? Okay just 10% so another year in your job... And now?

Nailed it.

Maybe. My sil inherited a life changing amount from an childless aunt, who didn't leave anyone else anything. No reason why, she didn't see her more often or anything, just must have been a favourite. Sil bought a house.
Other sil was furious, as she thought the money was from their parents. After a huge row, inheriting sil explained it all.

We did, but we kind of had to because it was so obvious. Only close family though (parents), not anyone else

I'd say 'caw canny' (go carefully and think through every part of it).

e.g you got an inheritance from great aunt Doris. You tell people that you got this inheritance and you'd like to treat everyone to a once-in-a-lifetime holiday to the Caribbean... Fantastic, generous. But they will be able to look up the probate records and see f*&@ing hell, they got £4m, and they only gave us a lousy holiday!

Totally dependent on your family and what you want to do with the money. If you have family members who would consider a windfall as almost a family windfall and make suggestions about what should be done with the money or expect a share, I'd be staying quiet. It wouldn't stop you be generous as and when you wanted to be.

Exactly this. If life changing means enough to pay off the mortgage and a bit left for a special holiday, nobody else needs to know you've paid off the mortgage, and a holiday can be explained away by a work bonus/hard saving/a family gift. If you're going from minimum wage jobs and council accommodation to footballer's mansion and private schools for the kids, you'll probably need to do a bit of explaining.

Don't do it, it will only breed resentment. I've lost two family members because they believe I should support them financially despite receiving other substantial inheritances themselves. They don't work due to family trauma, and I do, so I should support them. We all experienced the trauma and arguably (not even arguable actually) I received the brunt of it.

I know things are tough for them but they don't seem to understand that if I give them tens of thousands of pounds I will have to work even longer when actually I really struggle, again thanks to the trauma! They seem to see it as a completely inconsequential act.

Also, don't tell people generally, they may even make you feel guilty by saying if they had it they would do x y and z charitable things. It is always so easy to spend OTHER people's money.

If we inherited a lot from DH’s family, no I can’t see why it would come up with my family (and vice versa).

Why are people so stingy?

No because it's his inheritance and you discussing it with anyone but him is not on. I've had this happen recently and although the person who inherited and other half agreed with what was happening with it, it was clearly stated by the other half that it was the inheritor's business to tell or not tell anyone.

Depends completely on your relationship with them. I’d want to share the joy and treat them to a holiday/cash etc.

What’s life changing? Are you going to move to a house with a mansion and servants or payoff your mortgage? If obvious, then you will have to say something but if not, then keep quiet.

No I wouldn't but its up to DH really given he's inherited. If my own relations asked cos maybe we'd changed cars, home or something noticeable, then I'd play down any substantial amounts. Leave it vague/discreet

No ones business but your own.

Absolutely not. Unfortunately money changes relationships.

If you feel the need to explain any new extravagant purchases, say you got loans, new credit cards, a promotion at work etc etc. not that it’s anyone’s business what you spend your money on.

never let on you have come into money, it will only breed resentment.

Schtum! DYAC