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Can cake really be offensive?

190 replies

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 11:23

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

OP posts:
TrishM80 · 13/07/2026 14:03

Could have been worse, could have brought them over a leftover salad. Then they'd really be offended!

AnonyMumAuDHD · 13/07/2026 14:03

Odd reaction as my MIL would have appreciated the thought. For future reference I’ve found you can cut it and freeze it in slices. It can be defrosted slowly or warmed in the microwave and eaten with ice-cream and fruit. Yum.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 13/07/2026 14:03

I can see both sides, lots of times I would absolutely love someone to bring me cake. But then others I might be a bit annoyed as I would feel obligated to eat it/ would feel bad throwing it away but might have lots of other things that also needed eating, especially if I had sorted cake myself.

Blueberries0761 · 13/07/2026 14:03

I might have to venture out into the sunshine to buy cake, I now have a craving for a large slice of cake with a cup of tea after reading this thread! Luckily the shop is only a short walk away but if I melt into a puddle in the heat it'll be your fault @ThisWildHedgehog Grin

Your in-laws are mad to not appreciate the gesture and the chance to have some cake.

PotatoLove · 13/07/2026 14:02

Free cake!!!

rainbowunicorn · 13/07/2026 14:00

OP, as demonstrated by some of the batshit answers you've had, some people are just a bit strange. The best thing to do is roll your eyes, laugh and move on. Oh, and dont share cake with them again.

Rosyred82 · 13/07/2026 14:00

It was a kind gesture. When my kids had birthday parties I would always save a big wedge of birthday cake for my mum, dad and in laws. My mum in particular would be disappointed if she didn't get a slice 🍰
Maybe the dismissive behaviour was linked to something entirely different going off that day.

BackToLurk · 13/07/2026 13:59

CovenOfCheeses · 13/07/2026 13:57

Would you give heroin to a heroin addict or a beer to a recovering alcoholic. Your actions show just how callous you are and you really should be ashamed of yourself. Giving cake to a fat person is a real insult. I cannot believe you so lack any insight into how offensive this is.

😂😂

nomas · 13/07/2026 13:58

CovenOfCheeses · 13/07/2026 13:57

Would you give heroin to a heroin addict or a beer to a recovering alcoholic. Your actions show just how callous you are and you really should be ashamed of yourself. Giving cake to a fat person is a real insult. I cannot believe you so lack any insight into how offensive this is.

Is this sarcasm? Because it needs to be stronger these days. Most people will think you actually believe this.

KittytheHare · 13/07/2026 13:57

BorkaGoose · 13/07/2026 13:25

@ThisWildHedgehog YANBU but as an important side bar, please can you tell us where you managed to find a “glorious” cake for £20 and what was it like?

You took the words out of my mouth! Not a fan of shop-bought cake normally

CovenOfCheeses · 13/07/2026 13:57

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 11:23

Can cake really be offensive?

So my husband bought a really nice celebration cake over the weekend. It was large, cost £20, and was absolutely delicious, but there was too much for us to eat without some going to waste.

As we were seeing my MIL, FIL and SIL, I cut the cake in half and took it round to them in the box.

My only thought was, “It’s a lovely cake, and there’s enough to share.”

When I gave it to my MIL, I said, “We’ve brought you this cake because it’s really lovely and there’s enough to share.” She replied, “That’s fine.” I thought that was a really bizarre and ungrateful response, so I said, “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” She didn’t respond to that comment at all.

Anyway, once we got home, I said to DH that I felt a bit deflated because his mum seemed so dismissive about the cake. He said, “You shouldn’t have taken it, as it’ll be taken the wrong way.”

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.” 😳

Surely not?! They’ve known me for 10 years, and we’ve often had cake together. How could that possibly be what they thought?

Gosh, I’m praying you all think I’m not being unreasonable and that there’s no way I’ve offended anyone by giving them the cake!

Would you give heroin to a heroin addict or a beer to a recovering alcoholic. Your actions show just how callous you are and you really should be ashamed of yourself. Giving cake to a fat person is a real insult. I cannot believe you so lack any insight into how offensive this is.

BackToLurk · 13/07/2026 13:56

File it under “what the fuck is wrong with some people” and think of it no further.

nomas · 13/07/2026 13:55

Looks lovely. I can’t believe all the po-faced comments you’ve had.

It’s normal in my famiky to share food. I’ve been known to drop off half a pizza to my sister and she does similar.

rainbowunicorn · 13/07/2026 13:53

CoCoJones26 · 13/07/2026 13:34

Can't get past you buying a 16- slice cake, only to eat 2 pieces then try to give it away....what a waste of money!

Well it isnt your money being wasted. Why the need to chastise OP for spending her own money?

Mariettta · 13/07/2026 13:52

You did nothing wrong, OP, but all families are bat-shit in different ways, so it's always best to check with a partner before any dealings with their family.

Bjorkdidit · 13/07/2026 13:44

Wingwalk · 13/07/2026 13:43

Do you think these posters go to weddings and turn their noses up at slices of the wedding cake? 😂 "ugh not leftovers again"

Or if they go in a cafe and there's cake slices for sale?

TeaWithASplashOfMilkPlease · 13/07/2026 13:44

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 11:45

I understand that. I didn’t even see it as ‘leftovers’ as we’d only had two slices from the cake. I gave them a full untouched half and it wasn’t even a day old. In my eyes it was sharing a treat 😥

You are normal, and everyone else on here, and your in-laws, are mad.

Sharing food is a very human thing to do.

Food doesn’t have moral value, so offering cake should have no connotations in that direction, no matter how everyone here is trying to make it so.

You did a nice thing and they are weird. And your husband is an arse for pandering to it.

PS next time would you please share your delicious cake with me? I am fat and watch what I eat but I’d never offend anyone who brought me a treat because it was just a nice thing to do.

vanillapods · 13/07/2026 13:43

Was a lovely idea just not appreciated. Cake going spare is not the same as left overs at all in my eyes.
Try not to dwell - who knows what they were thinking but you know you meant well x

Wingwalk · 13/07/2026 13:43

Indianajet · 13/07/2026 13:42

There are some very odd people in the world and quite a lot of them have posted on here.
Sharing a cake is not 'giving people leftovers" from their dinner!

They are family, not random strangers giving out cake in a bizarre fairy tale.

Do you think these posters go to weddings and turn their noses up at slices of the wedding cake? 😂 "ugh not leftovers again"

Indianajet · 13/07/2026 13:42

There are some very odd people in the world and quite a lot of them have posted on here.
Sharing a cake is not 'giving people leftovers" from their dinner!

They are family, not random strangers giving out cake in a bizarre fairy tale.

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 13/07/2026 13:41

Um ok, our friend had a birthday at the weekend and 2 people baked her cakes so she brought half of one to us so it didn’t get wasted. We enjoyed our afternoon cup of tea with an unexpected and very delicious slice of chocolate cake. Wouldn’t occur to me to be offended! Utterly rediculous if anyone is

hobbydrama · 13/07/2026 13:40

Bloody hell!

They sound crazy! I would love these kind of leftovers. And I don’t actually think it’s leftovers, it’s sharing like you said.

You did nothing wrong at all! It was a kind gesture - you’ll know to just not bother next time!

SwanRivers · 13/07/2026 13:39

Isittimeformynapyet · 13/07/2026 11:55

Surely, by your reasoning, the cake becomes "leftovers" the moment someone takes the first slice?!

Or is it moving the cake from one place to another that contaminates it?

What are the ramifications of this when going on a picnic?

Your thinking is strange and precious, but I daresay you'll defend it vigorously 😄

Yeah that's a point actually.

If this is true, the OP only brought it from one place to another.

It's not like she rubbed her arse on it.

ThisWildHedgehog · 13/07/2026 13:39

CoCoJones26 · 13/07/2026 13:34

Can't get past you buying a 16- slice cake, only to eat 2 pieces then try to give it away....what a waste of money!

Just to be clear we’d only eaten two slices at the time - we finished our half yesterday!
I was also seeing my family after my in laws so had every intention of taking it to them but last minute thought the in-laws might like it instead. We don’t often treat ourselves but this cake really was lovely.

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 13/07/2026 13:38

I asked how on earth giving someone cake could be taken badly, and he said that because they’re all a bit on the larger side, it would come across as, “Fat people like cake - here’s my leftovers.”

He said that, did he?