Can cake really be offensive?

If someone offered you a slice of a cake they had already cut, would it really be leftovers? I’d be delighted if someone brought a delicious half a cake to me. Obviously, only someone you knew and trusted, such as family.

In restaurants, bakeries and cafes, if you buy by the slice, there are cakes and pies with pieces missing which have already sold to others. I never thought that if I buy a piece of a cake that has already been cut, that I am then buying the leftovers in the bakery/cafe.

If they cooked too much stew/curry, I similarly wouldn’t have an issue with them popping it into a receptacle for me to put in the freezer.

I’ll soon be visiting a family member who has had a baby, and I am thinking of bringing some home cooked stews/curries for the freezer to make things a little easier for a couple of days. I hope it won’t be regarded as an insult.

Op, if I was related to you, I’d let you treat me as much as you want. And, I’d probably adore all the more for your generosity.

edit for spelling.

They may well health issues (eg pre diabetes) they are too ashamed to publicise but mean they should be avoiding cake. Which is very difficult when you are a cake kind of person. They may have told your husband in confidence and he's trying to discourage you from doing it again but without betraying their secret.

So I'd take the hint and not offer them sweet stuff again or always offer a fruit or savoury alternative

@SerendipityCat: I'm one of those fat people your husband is so scathing about...

Men really cannot do anything right on here can they? OP's DH was not being scathing. He was explaining to his wife how his mother would interpret her well-intentioned act. Alternatively he could have lied but then he would be criticised for that too.

If you’re so insecure about being fat you can’t take a slice of cake from someone without feeling offended they’re calling you fat, you have massive issues and need to sort your weight out.

What! I love leftovers. Nothing makes me happier than a decent doggy bag.

A few years ago I put on weight to be a size 16-18 and all my family are all very slim.

I do remember being a bit offended that there was left over cake that they didn’t want to throw away and they all agreed that I would polish it off.

I think if you’re already sensitive to people thinking you’re greedy then you can take things the wrong way.

I don’t think you did anything wrong and they’re being over sensitive.

I’d be absolutely chuffed if someone I knew well brought me half a cake! All this business about not eating leftovers is totally baffling to me. It’s not like it’s half a steak scraped off someone’s plate… it’s cake!!

you did nothing wrong OP. They were being strange!

Yeah I wouldn't call it crime of the century, I can see you only had good intentions but people can be funny about food generally and 'leftovers' specifically. My MIL for one, she has this real issue (and unfortunately she's infected her kids I.e. my DH and his siblings with the same attitude) that it's wrong/bad, almost repulsive/unhygienic to eat even properly stored and perfectly good food the next day after it's been cooked/opened

But that's their (very odd) issue and it isn't an excuse to be rude about it. They could have either said 'thank you, that's very kind, we'll enjoy that'.

Or they could have politely said they're unable to accept it because they have weird and irrational food issues.

You seem very reluctant to say why this is. Surely you can't believe everyone's house except yours is crawling with germs (although, this being MN, I could be wrong.) Allergy issues?

🤣🤣

This is satire, right??

If not, might I just point out that your analogy automatically assumes that if they're fat they must be dieting. Not all fat people are on diets, imagine that! 😮Assuming a fat person is on a diet is far more of an 'insult' than offering them cake in my book.

They're being weird, and it's weird to look at this the way your DH is framing it. Even if they're dieting and trying to avoid temptation (in which case how would you know anyway, if they hadn't said), they should have at least thanked you for the thought, not been rude about it.

(And also, I am so trying that cake... 😄)

Why? I assume with such extreme views no-one would offer you food

Do you eat at restaurants?

I agree with another poster that they are definitely projecting their issues with their weight onto you. As I’ve done this before and I think it’s a very nice and perfectly normal gesture to make.

Is this a joke?

I think it is the law to wrap a slice of cake in a serviette for people who weren’t there. It certainly always was in my house.

Yeah I wouldn't call it crime of the century, I can see you only had good intentions but people can be funny about food generally and 'leftovers' specifically. My MIL for one, she has this real issue (and unfortunately she's infected her kids I.e. my DH and his siblings with the same attitude) that it's wrong/bad, almost repulsive/unhygienic to eat even properly stored and perfectly good food the next day after it's been cooked/opened. That was fine so long as it only really applied in her house and didn't affect anyone else (I would definitely have known not to take even an untouched half of a birthday cake to her!) but she's now also developed a bit of a bugbear about food going to waste but without altering her habits, so she'll cook or buy loads of food for a family meal, there will inevitably be leftovers but she won't allow any of it into her fridge and will try and foist it onto her DILs/SILs as we're leaving saying 'you're OK with eating leftovers and we're not so take this or it'll go to waste' - I have to admit to sometimes finding it a bit irritating, either the food is perfectly good in which case eat it yourself, or it's not good in which case what makes you think I'll act as your human waste disposal unit? Particularly so if I'm trying to diet/eat healthily, and what she's trying to make me take is cakes or sweets, not that they weren't nice but I try to avoid having those things in my house in the first place, or have only a very carefully chosen small quantity that's exactly what I want and no more (as like many people I've got no discipline around large portions of delicious things!). People might think that I always am happy to accept cake because I always have it around when there are visitors but actually I only ever buy/make cake when I know there are visitors coming. Not that I make a huge deal about that of course to their faces so accept people might not get that, but possibly OP's in laws are not dissimilar and actually have a careful balance in their cake ecosystem/ supply and demand economy which the arrival of unexpected extra cake throws off completely?

But either way, even if someone (MIL) does annoy me with her food habits then I am still able to be polite/nice about it and either accept the food with a good grace and deal with it at home or politely decline without taking it as a horrible insult or something, it's more on the lines of minor irritation so definitely not something there should be any kind of drama or falling out over on either side!

Hello. I’m intrigued as to why you wouldn’t eat a slice of shop bought cake from family. Not being snarky. I’m genuinely just nosey.

If someone brought me cake I'd be bloody delighted. Happy fat cake-appreciating person here!

Next time bring it to me- looks delicious😉

To be extra sure of causing offence, add in a referral code for WLIs.

It was a lovely thing to do. Maybe they were put out you didn't bring them a whole cake🤷‍♀️
Don't sweat it- they are weird about your kind offer.

And here we have today's front runner in the 'sarcasm or MN lunacy' daily guessing game.

They’re utter weirdos, don’t let them make you feel bad about a kind gesture.

I’ve never actually heard of left-over cake! In our house it’s just called ‘cake’. Some very strange responses on here. Hey ho. You live and learn OP. Don’t bother next time. If you really can’t get through cakes you buy, either stick them in the freezer for another time or send them to me. Happy to send my address and cover postage 🤣